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Yeah guys im on lunch break at the moment and im seeing her after work. Im beginning to phsyc myself up, im listening to how long by hinder and no easy way out by bullet for my valentine. Im going down fighting guys, just know that. Im not just gonna bow down and say ok. Im going to make sure i get a proper answer, i need her back or i need closure. So im getting either one today!
Even if she says no and tells you to go fuck yourself, getting closure will help you move on. I wish you the best man.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakey
Thanks man...do you think i should ask for breakup sex? ;D hahaha better not aye ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by CFHEven if she says no and tells you to go fuck yourself, getting closure will help you move on. I wish you the best man.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakey
You should never ask for sex, especially break-up sex. Trust me, if you guys hang out at all after the break-up, the sex will just happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakeyThanks man...do you think i should ask for breakup sex? ;D hahaha better not aye ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by CFHEven if she says no and tells you to go fuck yourself, getting closure will help you move on. I wish you the best man.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakey
Not sure if that was a joke or not but it may be indicitive of why she broke up with you in the first place.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakeyThanks man...do you think i should ask for breakup sex? ;D hahaha better not aye ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by CFHEven if she says no and tells you to go fuck yourself, getting closure will help you move on. I wish you the best man.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakey
I was dumped once and I really turned her off towards the end by being too needy and by trying to get sex from her when we wern't working out.
In my head I felt like she wasn't attracted to me any more and it made me want to get physical with her because I needed her to kiss and hold me for me to feel validated and attractive to her.
It was a very immature outlook and made me look needy and desperate. A complete turnoff for her.
Honestly, if you are having trouble in a relationship NEVER ask her for sex. If you have arguments because you are both passionate then its ok but if as I belive in your case she simply feels like she's outgrown you, asking her for sex and trying to get physical with her will just confirm to her your lower social value relative to hers. You'll look needy, immature and selfish.
Incidently my girlfriend actually dumped me twice. The first time she told me she wanted to break up and I handled it really well. I just told her I respected whatever she wanted to do, that I'd had a wonderful time with, respected her totally and if she decided she wanted to move on that I wouldn't stand in her way and would only feel positive and happy about her.
she immediately undumped me! I guess she was feeling (rightly) that I was too needy and clingy around her but this suprisingly mature speech showed that I was prepared to let her go, that I wasn't clingy after all.
She jumped on me and we had sex immediately.
The next day however I went straight back to being jealous and needy again. There were a couple guys who fancied her, and were always chatting her up at work. I'm 5 ft 7 they were both over 6 ft, I weighed about 140 lbs, these guys were good looking 185 lbs +
I felt I wasn't good enough and demonstrated it through my needyness and jealousy.
Ironically when she did finish with me she started dating a guy who was only my height and chubby, someone I believe I was better looking than :rolleyes:
I think there's a lesson there somewhere!
Anyway buddy, my advice to you if you havn't already spoken to her yet. Just let her go. Thank her for your time together, tell she was a wonderful girlfriend and that you'll never forget the time you spent together but you understand that things don't last for ever and that people change. Promise to respect her decision and part on the best of terms. DONT ASK HER FOR SEX OR TRY AND KISS HER!!"
This may seem completely counter intuitive but sometimes to truly demonstrate that you love someone and can properly give love, you have to be prepared to let it fly away.
If she feels like she's outgrown you and wants to move on, pursuasion will only make things worse. If she thinks your mature and strong enough to allow her to leave, and to leave on great terms, she may just think youre wonderful and take you back.
It's the hardest thing in the world to do but at the end of the day, love is a free choice. Allowing her to exercise her's and bearing whatever the consequences may be is the most mature and truly loving thing you can do.
If she leaves, you handled it brilliantly, and if she comes back she's done so entirely of her own choosing and your relationship will be stronger than ever.
Good Luck :)
Bilbo, those are some damn fine words of wisdom.
Cheers buddy, sadly they are a lot easier to say than to actually put into practice. :-\Quote:
Originally Posted by CFH
Guy of course i was joking about the sex, what the fuck do you think i am?
Its over, she couldnt even come and see me. She texted me and said she couldnt and that she thinks we should just leave it at that. I rang her, talked to her about shit...got a bit heated. I had alot of frustration to get out, i didnt let her get away with shit. And yeah its done, i still love her but she told me that she needs time to herself. So snakey is drunk right now and feeling like shit.
Snakey's just been shot down... and the bullet's in his heart :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQvCcRiem9c
Hard lines mate.
Looking back you were right to ignore all the 'good' advice us idiots gave you. Your a teenager, you acted like one, shouldnt happen any other way.
It didnt work out, it WILL get better.
Theres always wanking.
That is a tride a true method if their ever is one :jerk: seems to be a solution to almost 95% of lifes troubles;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Memphis
I told her that all i wanted was to talk like adults and that i was pissed off coz she let me sweat two days with me thinking i would see her before she told me she wouldnt turn up. From the sound of it though, her parents seemed to have had a fair bit to do with it. So that hurts, im angry but im also hurt. I just got up, its 6:30am here and woke up every hour coz i kept dreaming about her. I said to her last night "so you are never gonna want me back and you never want to go out with me again" and she said she couldnt say that because she wasnt sure how she would feel in a couple of months.
Needless to say im feeling a little sick after last night, i hit alcohol pretty hard. It helped to start with but in the end it left me depressed when i got home. Thanks for all the support guys, i appreciate it. Some of the shit ive said here, i couldnt say to mates or anything but yeah for now snakey isnt in a good way.
No worries man
Sometimes you gotta take your lumps and persevere, it makes you a better man in the end cause you will be stronger and better equipped to handle adversity when it arrives... Enjoy your mates go out as often as you can and chase the muff around and build some confidence up again.
Do things for yourself and learn who you are, the only guarantee in life is you have you, so enjoy things that fullfill you so that when you meet a new lady you have alot to bring to the table of your relationship;)
Here's the part where you get a heavy bag...
If it weren't for boxing I'd be a messed up case. Honestly, beat the hell out of a bag for a while, it'll help a lot.
I'm sad for ya Snakey, it's a tough time and your gonna struggle.
But mate, she treated you bad. She didn't turn up like she said you would....Is that a sign of respect?
Move on man...Show everybody that your more than they think you are.
Yeah I am with Donny, get something good to do. Time to move on. I would suggest playing that guitar of yours really loud. That is what I would do.
Yeah I'd play the guitar really loud too!
You're gonna have a lot more time on your hands now....Like JT suggested you could keep that time "in the hand" or you could do somethin productive.
Yeah being single, it is 'in the hand' alot. ha ha ha :( :)
What does not kill me, shall only make me stronger.:DQuote:
Originally Posted by boozeboxer
Wow, That brought back memories for me.. When I lost my first love after 2 years, I was destroyed.. And to take my mind off it, I would play my guitar, LOUD..The hardest metal that I could play... I KNEW that it would be driving the entire house mad, and probably neighbors.. But it was very theraputic and I felt much better once i'd had enough and decided to turn it down again.Quote:
Originally Posted by hitmandonny
Yeah I understand, in a similar situation I used to hit the bag a lot. I'd be lpounding the bag and all this emotion would come out, I'd be completely at a loss as to what I was doing really, all I knew was it helpedQuote:
Originally Posted by DizasterWow, That brought back memories for me.. When I lost my first love after 2 years, I was destroyed.. And to take my mind off it, I would play my guitar, LOUD..The hardest metal that I could play... I KNEW that it would be driving the entire house mad, and probably neighbors.. But it was very theraputic and I felt much better once i'd had enough and decided to turn it down again.Quote:
Originally Posted by hitmandonny
Have you thought about a vacation to take your mind off things. I remmeber when I went to New York and I had a lot of shit back home when going and yet when I was out there I didn't dwell off anything and it took my mind off it all.Quote:
Originally Posted by DizasterWow, That brought back memories for me.. When I lost my first love after 2 years, I was destroyed.. And to take my mind off it, I would play my guitar, LOUD..The hardest metal that I could play... I KNEW that it would be driving the entire house mad, and probably neighbors.. But it was very theraputic and I felt much better once i'd had enough and decided to turn it down again.Quote:
Originally Posted by hitmandonny
Aye... punch bag is probably a good idea... before I started boxing I was a right arsehole... always trying to wind people up/get in trouble etc...
The more and more I've stick with my boxing, the mellower I've become...
it's either that or the last doobie I had before I started boxing has some how managed to get stuck in my blood for over 3 years?
Probably the boxing as I've foundthe same thing.
Was a real aggresive teenager. From the ages of 14-16 I was smaller than most guys and if they tried anything, no matter how mild I'd take it really personally.
At 16 I really dedicated myself to the sport and I am just so chilled out.
Problem is when I take a lapse of training my endorphin levels hit the floor:p:-\:(:eek:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis
hahaha good ole Pam, never let me down :cool:
Hey guys. Got a shit load of anger built up and have learnt alcohol isnt the way. Just trying to chill out and relax at the moment. Trying to clear my head, its a long weekend down here after tomoz and its also my bday on saturday so im hanging with mates. Last bday, i was hanging with a mate and my gf...i could fuckin deal with this shit so much easier if we didnt have such good fuckin memories. It was only like since the start of january that shit hit the fan.
Hey mate, hope your keepin well.Quote:
Originally Posted by snakey
Bein relaxed is pretty tough.
I'd reccomend doin a bunch of stuff for the weekend to keep you busy and make new memories.
Don't keep it in there too long or it could get stuck... :-XQuote:
Originally Posted by hitmandonny
You it looks like you need help here...
FANTANA'S GUIDE TO WINNING HER BACK
If you’re at a loose end on what to do now you are no longer with your girl, there is one tactic you must employ to save face. Make sure to tell everyone it was you who dumped her, not the other way round. This way if she never comes back to you it will look like your choice. Each break up is different and will need different approaches, just like a Shirts off Showdown. Unlike the generic Galien, break ups come in all different fashions. To win her back you will need to be a real man, such as myself, at all times. This of course means accepting that the “relationship” has ended and not look needy. You don’t NEED it back, but perhaps you do WANT it back. There’s a difference, like the need for fresh air in a car full of farmers or the want of a tighter vest. Because girls are so into real men, such as myself, we are always strides ahead with this stuff. If you’re a dork, or a metro, try it anyway. Just like you may have tried sex or sports even though you knew you were going to be shit at them.
If she dumped you:- Understand why she did it (HINT – YOU’RE A DORK). A lot of break ups are due to more of a power balance game then an actual finale. Try conceding a little with her and ask her to be more expressive so it doesn’t happen again. She will think she has won. When she confirms it is back on, tell her if she does that shit again you will be gone for good. Now you have the power, although you never lost it in the first place. Don’t attack her pride as this will reaffirm why she dumped you (DOUBLE HINT – YOU’RE A DORK)
If you dumped her:- This will hurt her a lot more, which can have an advantage as you can take that pain away like vinegar to a stingy nettle wound. Express you want it to work but she will need to make a little effort like you have been doing. It only takes one to make a relationship work. In reality they may last a day or up to a fortnight, but since real men, such as myself, have next to no concept of time (life is like one huge video game) it goes by really fast.
Regarld of who dumped who there may never be a better time to show a slightly more vulnerable side to yourself, give the girl a little incentive to come back to you as you need someone to mother you, girls love that. Now would be a good time to tell her you can’t tie your own shoe laces and besides, why do you need to? This is why Velcro was invented.
IF SHE SAYS WE CAN BE FRIENDS
Take it or leave it. If a girl is attracted to a guy he will never be put into the friends zone entirely, least of all one she was intimate with. They know that at any given opportunity non-gay love making could strike out. Take the friend status and promote it a little. Since you are friends, contact and meet ups are acceptable. WARNING - If you didn’t know before women are demanding noise holes who are only quiet when eating chocolate or sleeping. Don’t be fooled by how cute they look by the little faces they pull because women are like dolphins, they have 2 brains (both roughly the size of a testicle) and are always semi-awake. This means they are fully aware of what they are doing whilst asleep. It’s science.
Remember you’re pretending to be her friend so you can win her back, patience is the key so don’t meet her for a week and pretend you have other things to do. Arrange a casual meet up, preferably alone, but if she invites you to a social gathering this is a great way to make her want you all over again. Hit on all her friends and muscle out the guys. Wink at her a lot so she knows you both know what you are capable of. Use Enhancement Stories to appear interesting again. If you get resistance from your advances claim it is hot and whip off your shirt. Move each pectoral individually, but don’t strike any poses unless oiled up efficiently and in good lighting. You want to appear serious but also appealing, in a non-gay way. Take charge of the situation and do all those things you did for ‘Maintaining a Girlfriend’. She will be on you quicker than you can say “PMS”. This whole process can take 15 minutes, plus whatever period of time it took to meet her again.
AFTERMATH OF A BAD BREAK UP
It’s only when she wants no contact with you whatsoever that you will actually have to redo a lot of the stuff that made her want you in the first place. To reverse it will require all your special abilities and of course time. Time is, as Albert Einstein discovered with the theory of gravity, a great healer. I can’t tell you how much time, but it could be a case of months or longer. She will have been hurt by you and there is no fury like a woman scorned. Maybe you frequent the same areas, work together or have mutual friends. If all of these are true you may actually be stalking her and that restraining order is there for a reason. You’re going to have to plan this out yourself but try and look at it from a different angle, just turn this page upside down. Don’t be afraid to mix it up a little.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Women are like a disease, easily caught, often hard to get rid of but once they are gone they can be gone forever. Also like all diseases known to man they are easily cured and there is more than enough to go around and every single one of them is complained about daily. Take a look at the disease you want to win back and decide if that really is the disease you want more of? If you don’t win her back, do not hate her. It has happened to me and I am proud to say she is in my prayers and I hope she gets better soon. After all, only someone beyond help would turn down the chance to be with a HMHT, such as myself. If everything fails and you don’t win her back then you will need to get a new girl, luckily for you, I have another guide somewhere which outlines the details to snagging yourself a lady. Who knows, maybe you will get a good one and find out where she pees from.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana
Fantana, you're brilliant. In a non-gay way.