Not sure if that was a joke or not but it may be indicitive of why she broke up with you in the first place.
I was dumped once and I really turned her off towards the end by being too needy and by trying to get sex from her when we wern't working out.
In my head I felt like she wasn't attracted to me any more and it made me want to get physical with her because I needed her to kiss and hold me for me to feel validated and attractive to her.
It was a very immature outlook and made me look needy and desperate. A complete turnoff for her.
Honestly, if you are having trouble in a relationship NEVER ask her for sex. If you have arguments because you are both passionate then its ok but if as I belive in your case she simply feels like she's outgrown you, asking her for sex and trying to get physical with her will just confirm to her your lower social value relative to hers. You'll look needy, immature and selfish.
Incidently my girlfriend actually dumped me twice. The first time she told me she wanted to break up and I handled it really well. I just told her I respected whatever she wanted to do, that I'd had a wonderful time with, respected her totally and if she decided she wanted to move on that I wouldn't stand in her way and would only feel positive and happy about her.
she immediately undumped me! I guess she was feeling (rightly) that I was too needy and clingy around her but this suprisingly mature speech showed that I was prepared to let her go, that I wasn't clingy after all.
She jumped on me and we had sex immediately.
The next day however I went straight back to being jealous and needy again. There were a couple guys who fancied her, and were always chatting her up at work. I'm 5 ft 7 they were both over 6 ft, I weighed about 140 lbs, these guys were good looking 185 lbs +
I felt I wasn't good enough and demonstrated it through my needyness and jealousy.
Ironically when she did finish with me she started dating a guy who was only my height and chubby, someone I believe I was better looking than
I think there's a lesson there somewhere!
Anyway buddy, my advice to you if you havn't already spoken to her yet. Just let her go. Thank her for your time together, tell she was a wonderful girlfriend and that you'll never forget the time you spent together but you understand that things don't last for ever and that people change. Promise to respect her decision and part on the best of terms. DONT ASK HER FOR SEX OR TRY AND KISS HER!!"
This may seem completely counter intuitive but sometimes to truly demonstrate that you love someone and can properly give love, you have to be prepared to let it fly away.
If she feels like she's outgrown you and wants to move on, pursuasion will only make things worse. If she thinks your mature and strong enough to allow her to leave, and to leave on great terms, she may just think youre wonderful and take you back.
It's the hardest thing in the world to do but at the end of the day, love is a free choice. Allowing her to exercise her's and bearing whatever the consequences may be is the most mature and truly loving thing you can do.
If she leaves, you handled it brilliantly, and if she comes back she's done so entirely of her own choosing and your relationship will be stronger than ever.
Good Luck![]()
Last edited by Kev; 03-17-2008 at 03:31 AM.
Bilbo, those are some damn fine words of wisdom.
Guy of course i was joking about the sex, what the fuck do you think i am?
Its over, she couldnt even come and see me. She texted me and said she couldnt and that she thinks we should just leave it at that. I rang her, talked to her about shit...got a bit heated. I had alot of frustration to get out, i didnt let her get away with shit. And yeah its done, i still love her but she told me that she needs time to herself. So snakey is drunk right now and feeling like shit.
Snakey's just been shot down... and the bullet's in his heart
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQvCcRiem9c
Hard lines mate.
Looking back you were right to ignore all the 'good' advice us idiots gave you. Your a teenager, you acted like one, shouldnt happen any other way.
It didnt work out, it WILL get better.
Theres always wanking.
When God said to the both of us "Which one of you wants to be Sugar Ray?" I guess I didnt raise my hand fast enough
Charley Burley
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