Serious post by me - am i doing the right thing?

Little bit of advice please guys. Want to make sure I am doing the right thing so please be honest.

On Saturday morning my wifes uncle passed away. He was one of those blokes who was loved by everyone and he was always the joker. Now before my wife went up to be with her family (i stayed at home to look after our kids 1 boy aged 4 ,1 girl aged 7 mnths) we said that on the day of the funeral I would stay at home with the children as they do not need to be seeing all that morbidity and our little boy is a sensitive little boy. He didn't really know this man to any great degree..only meeting him a few times when he was really young.

My wife comes back yesterday and says that it was the uncles wish that all the children attaned the funeral. I am in no way happy about this. She said it may teach them (or more so my littel boy as he is of an age to understand) that people do not last forever. I am getting the feeling she is letting her emotions cloud her judgement somewhat. I am prepared to let him attend the wake with all the other children but I am not prepared to let him see a box disappear into a hole or let him see it disappear behind a curtain, especially when there will be so much raw emotion in the room. Final wishes is one thing but I want to protect my boy.

Am I being unreasonable?


Its a touchy subject as my wife is quite upset.

to be honest I can see both sides of this, on the one hand the earlier they see this, have it explained to them then chances are they will be better able to handle this kind of event later in life, at the same time why should they go when it's not someone they knew (that may make it easier), as for his wishes, fair enough but he's dead. If he goes to the service he doesn't have to go them tipping him in a hole. If you sat at the back he wouldn't see that much and would probably get bored ;D if he did get upset you could take him out the back. Either way you can't win on this.

do what you feel is right mate what you really have to ask yourself is if it was your uncle and you wanted the kids to go and the wife said no...

how would you feel?

Personally i dont think its a bad thing for kids to go as they are too young and prob wouldn't give a shit and just treat it as a day out ;)

thats how i felt when i used to go to them as a kid ;)

you get dressed up and have funeral cake.....and whiskey if it's a catholic wake 8)

I do agree that he is going to need to learn about this sooner or later. My concern is all the negative energy in the room and the emotion. You are right though Missy this is one i can't win. I just feel he doesn't need such a huge introduction to death just yet.

Cheers for your replies guys. Clicks to everyone who replies.

I didnt allow my boys to go to my Dads funeral, no need for them to see everyone they know in pain. They know he's gone and wont ever be coming back. They didnt need to see his box being lowered to know that, my Mum wouldnt allow the box to be lowered until everyone had gone anyway.

You cant win mate, you will probably end up taking them. Just get through it the best you can. Make sure the baby is asleep for the service and play eye spy with the boy ;)

Tell them that he is not really dead, and that he will come back as a vampire.

Sorry guys i forgot to mention. Only serious replies get clicks ;)

Cheers

T'choh ............ and I thought I was being helpful !!
:-*

Well dude...id say your in the right. Ok they might not understand...what if they do and it scares the shit out of them? Plus theres nothing worse, sitting in a funeral and somebody has their kids there and they start balling there eyes out whether or not theyre upset by the event or not. Everyone hates funerals, theyre sad enough without having to worry how its going to effect your kids. When i was in yr 1 or something, my great gran died and she had baby sat me heaps so i was close to them but my sister and i were forbidden from the funeral as we were seen as too young to handle that event. I know its different coz we were actually close to the person who died and your kids werent but i still dont think they are ready for those facts of life yet.

If I think back to funerals when I was a kid, although I recall the sorrow of other people, I don't remember being that arsed....particularly if it was someone distant.

I just recall memories of being with my cousins and feeling part of a family.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by X

Tell them that he is not really dead, and that he will come back as a vampire.

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or a zombie! that's worse, tell your boy he only need worry about the vampires if he's a virgin, then make him watch salem's lot

I remember when my grandfather died, at the funural my only thoughts were who would be taking me to the football matches now He couldnt it made me worry. But then I thought scrap youre 24 take yourself.

I think you should do whatever you have to do to protect your little uns and thats all that matters

Not sure they need to be seeing all that sadness tbh - just my opinion

Good lucjk bud

personally mate i would take em.

i dont have kids so you can disagree.

but if it was his last wish, let it come true