I am haunted by memories and visions
I am haunted by the numberless sunsets whose reddish light has colored the walls and window sills of so many places over the years around 5 p.m. or even later during High summer. I am haunted by the breezes that I have felt over the years during various seasons. Some of the breezes carried aromatic herbal Aromas from Meadows and Fields while other breezes carried the happy scent of various flowers and Blossoms and aromatic leaves. I am haunted by the many tombstones that I have passed by with names of people who I never knew and who did not know me and who apparently died at various ages throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth and twentieth centuries in various graveyards that I have personally walked through in South Korea and Ireland and turkey and Malaysia and India and the United States and Guyana and Singapore grave after grave after grave. Tombstone after tombstone. inscription after inscription. Life After Life and death after death. I am haunted by the similar memory each time of our helplessness and I try to imagine that there is a portal or Wormhole or something that takes us from this place and brings us to another.
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
Where we are is a temporary even if it's the same place. I am haunted by being a fookin idiot and running up debt chasing unicorns. I am haunted by too real dreams through the eyes of elderly loved ones..honestly surreal last couple of weeks. I'm also haunted by grilled soft tacos...fuckers just won't leave me alone!
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
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Originally Posted by
brocktonblockbust
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Spicoli
Where we are is a temporary even if it's the same place. I am haunted by being a fookin idiot and running up debt chasing unicorns. I am haunted by too real dreams through the eyes of elderly loved ones..honestly surreal last couple of weeks. I'm also haunted by grilled soft tacos...fuckers just won't leave me alone!
The dream about your parents the other day was weird. You said that you could detectd the aging process before your eyes
Yeh man that was pretty odd. We're in home of 25 yrs ago but Mom aged as today, standing there waiting for pop to drive up but never came home. Starting to miss dreams about my teeth falling out or being chased by hatchet wielding Fat albert FFS!
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
brocktonblockbust
i am haunted by the numberless sunsets whose reddish light has colored the chapped lips of so many crackheads over the years around pooky's place watching them killing themselves all summer long.
I am haunted by the breezes that i have felt over the years during various seasons. Calm me down oh earth wind and fire with soothing sound singing "reasons".
. Some of the breezes carried aromatic combustion of anal oxygen. From lingering flatulence that caused me to lose my sense.
Meadows and fields that carries the breeze. The breeze carrying the torrid scent of unwashed ass and penetrated vaginas that one couldn't believe...that all was needed is a bottle of summer's eve.
I am haunted by the many tombstone frozen pizzas that i've eaten, not one freshly made...prayed dear lord...let me find in the medicine cabinet just one or two rolaids.
Let not the names of people who i never knew and who did not know me lament of the scent of my flatulence...who apparently died from over inhalation heeling over to their side like lungs filled with carbon monoxide
throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth and twentieth centuries in various graveyards that i have personally walked and wondered how great how dismal...that they died without knowing the invention of pepto bismal.
South korea and ireland and turkey and malaysia and india guyana and singapore grave after grave a number untold.
That died dear lord without the sweet sounds of the flush from a toilet called commode. I did not falter tombstone after tombstone. Inscription after inscription i did not falter i did not waiver ..knowing they used corn cobs, while i? Toilet paper.
Life after life and death after death. I am haunted by the similar memory each time of our helplessness. We push and push unlike women we give no birth. Just fecal matter that has no worth.
For i try to imagine that there is a portal or wormhole or something that takes us from this place unknown to any scholar or encyclopedia that brings us to a place where there is no constipation or diarrhea .
:sadclick::LOS:
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
...sounds like an angst we aging folks suffer sometimes. There's a Japanese saying that goes, 'human beings are pathetic creatures,' and indeed we are - in the long run, we are all doomed... or.. are we really? Yo, Brock, I'm back. Cheers, buddy, cheers!
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
Quote:
Originally Posted by
brocktonblockbust
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pacfan
...sounds like an angst we aging folks suffer sometimes. There's a Japanese saying that goes, 'human beings are pathetic creatures,' and indeed we are - in the long run, we are all doomed... or.. are we really? Yo, Brock, I'm back. Cheers, buddy, cheers!
Hey PAC. You're right. Angst.
I don't know if you're just joking or serious about these things. If you're serious, maybe it's because your mind is too fixated on this world. The antidote will be to start looking beyond. Believe there is something good beyond, something infinitely good, transcending this or that world - the boundless world, boundless in time or space or what not. Never mind if it really exist or not, that's not important, and who knows anyway. Just believing that there's something much more better out there is enough. It'll make you more happy and will lessen the fear of moving on to the next world. Keep hoping, buds and cheer up.
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
Quote:
Originally Posted by
brocktonblockbust
I was in no way joking when I wrote that original post. I am haunted by the possibility of interdimensional existence and that we pass from Dimension to Dimension after this life or this world. I wonder if spouses will see each other again I wonder if loved ones will see each other again. It is all very haunting and in the day-to-day grind that we go through here once in a while when we have a few moments to see the sunlight on the wall or the smell of spring flowers and the feeling of the breeze we realize that this day-to-day grind is so meaningless and empty. And all of the unknowns are much more magnified during those moments of transcendence and when we are laying there half asleep in a dream-like state so many memories come rushing back of all the days and mornings and afternoons and nights and all the sunlight in the shadows and if things we've seen and done and smelled and experienced. And it is a haunting a haunting like your entire life Rushing before you
Ah, so it looks like you're being attached to the things of this world very much, something very natural though. I have a different experience though. When I was a child, once in a rare while, while I'm musing in half dream-like state, I would experience this sudden flash of ecstasy lasting few seconds - I can't explain the experience exactly - this strong feeling that there is something infinitely good penetrating deep beyond, feeling of hope in its purest form - you'll have to experience it to understand what it's really like. I had that experience, whatever that was, about 5 or more times in my life, and strangely, the last one came when I was 20 years old, and that was a very, very long time ago. But anyway, those few ecstatic experience gave me hope and helped me go through lots of hardship in life - I always carry that feeling that there is something infinitely more better somewhere beyond. Call me crazy and it might just be my imagination but it doesn't matter to me because what really matter is that I believe in what I felt and that 'light' gives me hope even as I age. I just wish I could share that feeling with others, especially those who are despondent in this imperfect world...
Re: I am haunted by memories and visions
