Bad times

Ok I usually respect myself in the highest esteem but after last night I don't think I can do that. For the first time in my life I have "cheated" on my girlfriend, by that I mean I kissed another girl. I know many of you will say it's not cheating unless you sleep with the other chick but right now i'm feeling terrible. The worst part is that I really like my GF, but I seem to self sabotage anything good that happens in my life. I don't know whether I should tell my GF or wait till she confronts me or what. Any advice is much appreciated otherwise I am fucked as they say and really don't know what I'm supposed to do as this is my first "serious" relationship.

If she has any access to your PC, the first order of business would be to clear your web history.

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Originally Posted by Youngblood

If she has any access to your PC, the first order of business would be to clear your web history.

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Nah she has no access to my comp and go on MSN YB

Nobody's pefect Salty. I'm sure a lot of us have made similar mistakes. If it was me, I'd give myself a little more time to chill out, and better understand my feelings before making any kind of decision. But that's is easier said than done. Women can be good at sniffing out a guilty conscience, especially if you're not good at hiding it.

Were you drunk?
And how long you been with the GF for?
I started after exactly 7 years out of 15 with my ex and did it a good few times with various women since that first time.
Left her and now with a new one;D
Trust me theres a reason you kissed that girl;)
Bit of a let down though as you never even banged the ass off it;D

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Originally Posted by CGM

Nobody's pefect Salty. I'm sure a lot of us have made similar mistakes. If it was me, I'd give myself a little more time to chill out, and better understand my feelings before making any kind of decision. But that's is easier said than done. Women can be good at sniffing out a guilty conscience, especially if you're not good at hiding it.

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Thanks for the advice mate, I will see how it goes in the morning :-\

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Originally Posted by smashup

Were you drunk?
And how long you been with the GF for?
I started after exactly 7 years out of 15 with my ex and did it a good few times with various women since that first time.
Left her and now with a new one;D
Trust me theres a reason you kissed that girl;)
Bit of a let down though as you never even banged the ass off it;D

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Good point there Smash.

That's the worst thing though I thought I had found a girl who I could do that continuously to but yeah, thanks YB for talking me through it. I just hope no one tells her before her exam on monday :-\

I guess what ever happens, happens

Good luck Salty.

Don't be too hard on yourself dude. You didn't go to far over the line and stopped the situation, and quickly, from getting worse then it surely coulda.

Booze is no an excuse, but it sure ain't no help either.

If the two of them lined up in front of you now with eyes closed mouths puckered arms out which one would you step to?
Thats your big answer.

Are you scared you'll lose her?
I know two couples who are married and one of the sides has done the same thing and come clean straight up on both occasions,both were actually the females in each case and both couples are now stronger than ever with the honesty commming to the front straight away helped the other one see it for what it was, A slip that never turned into a slide cause their partner (you in this case) thought better of it and pulled the plug before going the whole way.

I've been married for 16 years never kissed another woman but mate Ive been close so close in fact I may as well of. Its no big one.We are all human.

It's about time Salty! Way to go! It's only a bad thing if your current girl finds out!

Also don't feel guilty about it because the more guilty you feel then the angrier your girl will be when she finds out because you feeling really guilty = her thinking you really fucked up royally.....it's just a kiss it wasn't like a secret marraige or anything, stop being such a drama queen

I'd tell her personally its better to tell her now and she'll forgive you, but whatever you do make up your mind fast. You didn't really do anything that bad so its no big deal if you don't tell her either. But theres always the risk someone else could tell her which would be bad so its your decision bro.

Vd's response will be...

:LOLATYOU:

Now have a think :scratchchin: do this with her first :splurt: then tell her once youre done,"hey babe guess what":slap:.

Wave good bye :wavey: now go and do it this way around to the other chick like you were supposed to do last night:doggy:.Then this way:bananasex: and this one:bananastyle: :yay2: " Salty bits ".

Tell her it was a mercy kiss on an ugly chic.

Theres a 'kiss' and then theres stabbing the back of her throat with your tounge kissing ???

If it was the latter,you may be telling yourself something and dealing with internal conflict?

so how did that kiss happen? was it at a party a bar or what? come on buddy tell us the details. oh dont forget to tell us how were the tits?;D

ok seriously, smash is right theres a reason why you kissed the other girl. better u find out sooner then later what that reason is. maybe u aint ready for a real commitment or to be with one girl your whole life. your current girl may be great and all but you still got to know what you really want. 1 or anyone? :)

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Originally Posted by ICB

I'd tell her personally its better to tell her now and she'll forgive you.

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To an extent she'll forgive you but whenever you fuck up in the future you can bet your Aunt Suzy's ash can on her bringing this little incident back up.

Listen here bro, it's not like she caught you so first off whatever you tell her she's going to assume the absolute worst as anyone would in this situation. It was just a kiss it's not a big deal, it's not like you're a wanted man now or you have a plethera of STD's (I'm assuming) so what your girl doesn't know about this innocent mistake won't come back and hurt you.

If you act half as guilty and you seem on here then you had better be ready for a knockdown drag out fight....just block it from your memory and make like it never happened.

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Originally Posted by Salty

Ok I usually respect myself in the highest esteem but after last night I don't think I can do that. For the first time in my life I have "cheated" on my girlfriend, by that I mean I kissed another girl. I know many of you will say it's not cheating unless you sleep with the other chick but right now i'm feeling terrible. The worst part is that I really like my GF, but I seem to self sabotage anything good that happens in my life. I don't know whether I should tell my GF or wait till she confronts me or what. Any advice is much appreciated otherwise I am fucked as they say and really don't know what I'm supposed to do as this is my first "serious" relationship.

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Are you married? No? Engaged? No? Then it's simple. Keep your mouth shut. you'll get over it.

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Originally Posted by Von Milash

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Originally Posted by Salty

Ok I usually respect myself in the highest esteem but after last night I don't think I can do that. For the first time in my life I have "cheated" on my girlfriend, by that I mean I kissed another girl. I know many of you will say it's not cheating unless you sleep with the other chick but right now i'm feeling terrible. The worst part is that I really like my GF, but I seem to self sabotage anything good that happens in my life. I don't know whether I should tell my GF or wait till she confronts me or what. Any advice is much appreciated otherwise I am fucked as they say and really don't know what I'm supposed to do as this is my first "serious" relationship.

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Are you married? No? Engaged? No? Then it's simple. Keep your mouth shut. you'll get over it.

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Its a situation many of us have probably been through before. The above advice is blunt but seems about right. And try not to do it again. :-X

If the relationship can't stand this little bit of a slip up and honestly...it IMO isn't very much of a relationship, and destined for failure. So it is probably a decent test of it's mettle.

Plus, if you start building a relationship off on a secret and hiding stuff, with the fear of being found out...you are building a house of cards, man.

Just deal with it...

If your really into the girl you kissed then move on and get with her.

If you want to have your cake and eat it too then fuck around with the girl on the side and still keep your girlfriend.

If you feel you fucked up and you don't want to loose your girl then tighten up your balls and just let it go. Make it as if it never happened.

You gotta take a lot of things into consideration.

1. Were you drunk when the kiss happened?
If so that had something to do with it. Would you have done it if you were drunk?

2. Is your girlfriend a serious one?
By serious I mean have you been with her for over 1 yr.
Me personally I don't think a serious relationship is less then a year. I don't think you can know someone that well in less then 1 yr. just my opinion.

3. Have you thought about cheating before?
If so then this tells you, you are not that serious about your girl and your not in love with your girl. Chances are the kiss happened because you saw it as your chance to do it and move on.

Alright Salty mate?

Sounds like you do care about your current GF.
Very neasy at our age for our judgement to be clouded and for us to get misguided.

Honesty is probably the best policy. Tell her, if she thinks that your relationship is still worth pursuing, then you've obviously got something.
If she throws it away, then maybe your relationship doesn't hold much weight.

If you don't tell her though and she finds out then its game over either way.