How can I find a friend?

I've been living in this new town for three weeks now and I realise that I miss good old fashioned company. I simply don't have any friends. It hasn't been so bad when the wife has been here because she usually just nags me and I am grateful to have someone to argue with (oh how I love to exagerate :p), but this week she went to her sisters hospital as she has injured her ankle and next week will spend two final weeks finishing up her notice on her office job in the other city. It's Thursday and my weekend has already begun and whilst I could read a book or kill Zombies on the Playstation, I realise that I am starved of human companionship. It wouldn't be so bad if I was in my old city as I could just call someone up or just head out on my own as I know where people go, but I don't know anyone here. I was so bored that I even did the washing up earlier and that is just weird behaviour.

I wouldn't mind going out on my own to a quiet pub looking for conversation, but that's a bit scary considering that this is a small town and I teach young adults. Where do young adults spend their time? That's right, in the pub. It would be awful to have one of my students see me having a beer alone in a pub. I would look like a right sad old git. I could just spend all my time online annoying you lot and entertaining Bilbo, but likewise typing away on the internet is not the same as having a proper conversation with another human being. After all, a lot of you are shapeshifters and it isn't even clear if some of you are actual people.

So, a simple thread. How can I find a friend?

1-800-Call-A-Friend

I think I might drive to the supermarket and see what's happening down there. Apparently they have some reasonably priced new Belgian beers in. I might do an Alan Partridge and ask one of the trolley pushers if he fancies a quiet pint. :p

Do you dance?

Don't know what you like to do except talk politics and religion with Bilbo.

Do you like to fish? Shoot pool. (Snooker)

Join a club. (RSL)

You know this is a really weird city. None of my favorite barbecued chicken restaurants do delivery and there aren't even any fast food chains. My old city had everything and even 3 McDonald's. This place has nothing...no burger king, no KFC, zilch. Absolutely nothing, so I can't even go and hang out there and get a bite to eat. I could go to my favourite barbecued chicken restaurant, but you don't really eat alone. The set up is for groups of people.

Sod it, I'm off to the supermarket. I quite like driving about anyway.

Just how small is this town?

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Originally Posted by Ghost

Do you dance?

Don't know what you like to do except talk politics and religion with Bilbo.

Do you like to fish? Shoot pool. (Snooker)

Join a club. (RSL)

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I've been married for too many years, so I can't really go out and dance. But I've never been much of a dancer anyway, I usually just sit and laugh at the dancers. Like I say, I wouldn't mind going to a pub, but I'm scared that a student will see me. I'm sure there are some foreigners in this city, but I just don't know where they go. There are some pool halls, but going there alone would be really weird. Usually I am quite fine living a semi-reclusive life, but I am usually always living with someone. Now I am on my own, I quite like it, but it feels extremely alien. Usually I have someone to listen to me, but it's odd having nobody there to listen.

The supermarket beckons! This is the life! :vd:;D

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Originally Posted by Ghost

Just how small is this town?

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Bigger than most, but small for Korea. About 150,000 people. My last one was half a million and growing because of it's short distance to Seoul via high speed rail.

emigrate ?

Any US barracks around? Go to one of their digs and start chatting, be interesting.

Chess club? How about lawn bowls Miles? ten pin bowls, join a boxing gym.

Any parks where honeys walk dogs,dogs are good starting points.

A Library?

Are you near a beach? A mountain? A lake? A bush walk?

Where do tourists hang out? Any YHAs or budget accommodations? travelers always want to have a yak.

How about a drive back to your old town, :-\ it cant be that far away? fuk your country would fit clean up our countries ass, we did 210 ks today just for 4 hours work.

HAve a beer at home and ring a mate in England.

Ring me if you like :D

Ring Bilbo :D you can argue for hours.

When I moved to a new place, I used to go to the local pubs. Have a couple of drinks and get a feel for the place, if i like the haunt, then try to get to know a few peeps, starting with bar tenders, then move onto the locals. It does help If ya like playing pool or darts, get the know locals through that and hey presto ;)

you still out asia way milo??

may i suggest due to recent events giving swimming lessons to the locals ;D;D;D

I went to the supermarket and had a right old riot. I couldn't find a cash machine and had to ask this security type fellow where one was. He responded with remarkably good English and I was half tempted to ask him if he fancied a pint, but I thought better of that and went off looking for the foreign beers section where I had heard the variety of beers had been expanding and at a reasonable price. There was quite a lot on offer, I bought a few different sorts and will stay at home sampling them. I also bought a six pack of Sapporo beer in honour of those who have been lost in the earthquake/tsunami. Actually my little drive and walk about has alleviated some of my loneliness. I now have plenty of friends and they are all in liquid form. It's a good thing the wife isn't here as she would kill me for buying all these different beers.

Yeah, my looking for a friend thing is slightly tongue in cheek. I am hardly mr sociable the best of times and typically only go out about once a month anyway, but it would be nice to know someone who you can go out for the occasional beer with. Actually, I think I will just have some of these beers tonight and watch the cricket world cup on an illegal stream. Cricket and beer, it's all you need really. Who needs friends.

There is a very nice lake here actually. This is a smallish town completed surrounded by high, rolling mountains and there is a large lake right outside my window. I might check it out properly this weekend. I might even try to walk up one of the mountains. That could be a mistake though. No, I'm feeling much chirpier now.

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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haha I thought the idea is for him to make friends? ;D

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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My students are the usual college age. They range from 18 to 24. Some of the males are back from their military service so can be a fair bit older than you would expect.

I've gone out alone in the past, but it's not so bad in my old city as I know it very well. I kind of know where to go. Here it is quite different. Also, though I can speak the basics of the Korean language fairly well, it can be really hard work in a bar setting. Just as it can be very difficult for many Koreans to strike up a conversation about significant issues in English. It is very hard work.

I suppose it's all about me persevering for the next couple of weeks until my domestic life is back to normal. I haven't lived alone in over 6 years. It feels very unusual having the house to myself. In a way it's kind of liberating. I am sitting here drinking my second type of beer which would be unheard of if the wife was here (I've got all sorts of random stuff), but it does feel kind of empty without her around.

Usually there are foreign communities. For instance, in my old city we even have a community website and there is a network of people. Having become domesticated I kind of fell out of the loop, but it was always there if I needed it. I have tried searching for something similar here, but there doesn't seem to be anything like that. Obviously I could never join a church or anything like that. Just an occasional drinking partner would be nice. Just a once a month thing for when the guys need a little break from the whole domestication thing.

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Originally Posted by miles

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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My students are the usual college age. They range from 18 to 24. Some of the males are back from their military service so can be a fair bit older than you would expect.

I've gone out alone in the past, but it's not so bad in my old city as I know it very well. I kind of know where to go. Here it is quite different. Also, though I can speak the basics of the Korean language fairly well, it can be really hard work in a bar setting. Just as it can be very difficult for many Koreans to strike up a conversation about significant issues in English. It is very hard work.

I suppose it's all about me persevering for the next couple of weeks until my domestic life is back to normal. I haven't lived alone in over 6 years. It feels very unusual having the house to myself. In a way it's kind of liberating. I am sitting here drinking my second type of beer which would be unheard of if the wife was here (I've got all sorts of random stuff), but it does feel kind of empty without her around.

Usually there are foreign communities. For instance, in my old city we even have a community website and there is a network of people. Having become domesticated I kind of fell out of the loop, but it was always there if I needed it. I have tried searching for something similar here, but there doesn't seem to be anything like that. Obviously I could never join a church or anything like that. Just an occasional drinking partner would be nice. Just a once a month thing for when the guys need a little break from the whole domestication thing.

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There's bound to be some ex-pats around miles. And don't you teach english? Why not speak English with some of your past students at a pub or something?

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

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Originally Posted by miles

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

---

My students are the usual college age. They range from 18 to 24. Some of the males are back from their military service so can be a fair bit older than you would expect.

I've gone out alone in the past, but it's not so bad in my old city as I know it very well. I kind of know where to go. Here it is quite different. Also, though I can speak the basics of the Korean language fairly well, it can be really hard work in a bar setting. Just as it can be very difficult for many Koreans to strike up a conversation about significant issues in English. It is very hard work.

I suppose it's all about me persevering for the next couple of weeks until my domestic life is back to normal. I haven't lived alone in over 6 years. It feels very unusual having the house to myself. In a way it's kind of liberating. I am sitting here drinking my second type of beer which would be unheard of if the wife was here (I've got all sorts of random stuff), but it does feel kind of empty without her around.

Usually there are foreign communities. For instance, in my old city we even have a community website and there is a network of people. Having become domesticated I kind of fell out of the loop, but it was always there if I needed it. I have tried searching for something similar here, but there doesn't seem to be anything like that. Obviously I could never join a church or anything like that. Just an occasional drinking partner would be nice. Just a once a month thing for when the guys need a little break from the whole domestication thing.

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There's bound to be some ex-pats around miles. And don't you teach english? Why not speak English with some of your past students at a pub or something?

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I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo! ;D

Anyway, I am quite okay. My weekdays are busy with work and reading, it's just the long weekends while alone at home that I can get a bit bored. Friday is my day off, but really it should be considered a research day. I should actually be adapting some of my research on Fridays and from now on I think I will. I will go into the office tomorrow afternoon. Then that will leave only the weekend and that's fine. A bit of boxing on a Sunday, some reading on a Saturday. Some zombie shooting in the evenings and life is quite dandy.

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Originally Posted by miles

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo! ;D

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But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

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Originally Posted by miles

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo! ;D

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But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

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Hmm. I thought my sentences were quite clear. ;D

My previous work was freelance. My main two jobs were teaching young kids and slightly older kids at two seperate schools. My new job is at a university where I am finally putting my qualifications to use.

If I were to have a beer with "past" students it would be a little bit wrong. I have experience teaching every range you could ever imagine, but right now it is your standard college age young adults.

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Originally Posted by miles

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

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Originally Posted by miles

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo! ;D

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But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

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Hmm. I thought my sentences were quite clear. ;D

My previous work was freelance. My main two jobs were teaching young kids and slightly older kids at two seperate schools. My new job is at a university where I am finally putting my qualifications to use.

If I were to have a beer with "past" students it would be a little bit wrong. I have experience teaching every range you could ever imagine, but right now it is your standard college age young adults.

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...do you have no colleagues? Have a beer with your current students, take them on a field trip to a pub.

Ah, I've got it!

Lyle, you have not followed some of my previous threads so you don't know what I am all about. I have spoken about my own work in different threads, so I kind of automatically assume that people catch the gist of what I am talking about. I am not a long time university teacher, it is a new development. Most of my teaching has been with young kids through to adult age learners, but I have never previously worked at a university. My previous jobs prior to this were mainly with what we would all call kids. Sure, I have taught adults, but I haven't done corporate classes for a good while.

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

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Originally Posted by miles

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

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Originally Posted by miles

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo! ;D

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But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

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Hmm. I thought my sentences were quite clear. ;D

My previous work was freelance. My main two jobs were teaching young kids and slightly older kids at two seperate schools. My new job is at a university where I am finally putting my qualifications to use.

If I were to have a beer with "past" students it would be a little bit wrong. I have experience teaching every range you could ever imagine, but right now it is your standard college age young adults.

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...do you have no colleagues? Have a beer with your current students, take them on a field trip to a pub.

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I have one coworker, but he is Canadian!

Actually, he seems like a nice guy but is a fair bit older than me and keeps himself to himself. And it just wouldn't be cool for me to go drinking with my students. What kind of professor leeches onto his students for company? That is just the height of sadness. Plus in Korea life is quite different from in our countries. Here the students have been at high school from 7am till 9pm in the evening. It's like being released from prison. They deserve to enjoy their own time and find their own friends. In fact Korean university students are mentally younger than what we were. They haven't had the chance to experience or enjoy anything. The last thing they need is the sad, old English professor saying "be my friend, come to the pub!".

I have Korean colleagues, but this place is unusually hands off. You don't really see anyone. You teach your classes, you talk to the admin, but you don't see any other figures. I have made friends with one professor who I met on the day I was interviewed (along with other higher uppers), but this is his last week. He is leaving because he was promised things, looked at his contract and found things were not realised. He gave me a warning saying that this is a quality university, but just make sure you pay lip service to certain professors who really control things. Like a Korean Dershowitz situation really. He is a nice guy and I have his contact details, but he is moving back to Seoul tomorrow and will spend time finishing his Phd and getting things published. He gave me a lot of good advice about publishing actually.

I spend most of my working time in the classroom, in my office and in the admin room. That's it really, there isn't a great deal of time to interact with colleagues.

Trick your students into going to the pub or somewhere with you, say it's extra credit to practice small talk.

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Originally Posted by No Contest

Trick your students into going to the pub or somewhere with you, say it's extra credit to practice small talk.

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That sounds desperate, you should take up trainspotting or join a club that caters for your hobbies.

Nothing wrong with going to the pub yeh Miles. You are human after all. Students past or present see you in different light may go aways. Know your cut off point though less you want pics of you dancing atop tables in your boxers with young asian men all over Facebook or something.

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Originally Posted by Master

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Originally Posted by No Contest

Trick your students into going to the pub or somewhere with you, say it's extra credit to practice small talk.

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That sounds desperate, you should take up trainspotting or join a club that caters for your hobbies.

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What club is that Hammas?

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Originally Posted by No Contest

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Originally Posted by Master

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Originally Posted by No Contest

Trick your students into going to the pub or somewhere with you, say it's extra credit to practice small talk.

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That sounds desperate, you should take up trainspotting or join a club that caters for your hobbies.

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What club is that Hammas?

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He just needs to skype more with his buddies Hugo Chavez, Kim Jong-Il and Castro

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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Well to use an old term, You dont find friends ..you make friends ;)

So why don't you go to a Synagogue? ;D

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Originally Posted by Andre

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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Well to use an old term, You dont find friends ..you make friends ;)

So why don't you go to a Synagogue? ;D

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I imagine Miles would be even less welcome at the synagogues than Jesus was :D

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Originally Posted by Bilbo

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Originally Posted by Andre

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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Well to use an old term, You dont find friends ..you make friends ;)

So why don't you go to a Synagogue? ;D

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I imagine Miles would be even less welcome at the synagogues than Jesus was :D

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Well he did say recently that he looks slightly Gay um Jewish. :-\

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Originally Posted by Andre

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Originally Posted by Bilbo

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Originally Posted by Andre

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Originally Posted by El Kabong

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

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Well to use an old term, You dont find friends ..you make friends ;)

So why don't you go to a Synagogue? ;D

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I imagine Miles would be even less welcome at the synagogues than Jesus was :D

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Well he did say recently that he looks slightly Gay um Jewish. :-\

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And it is kinda hard to make friends when he has snail slime all over his hands from studying the reproductive cycle of said species. :o

Haha, you bastards! ;D

I don't want a friend anymore. I had a satisfying evening watching the cricket and drinking Japanese beer. England even got the win which was highly unlikely for much of the evening. And now that the day has broken, I feel quite mellowed out. I've always been a solitary kind of man anyway and there is lots that I could be doing. I have the entire university library at my disposal which I haven't even checked out yet and that means free access to online journals. That's my day sorted. And who needs to go out on a friday night? I will stay home, shoot zombies and annoy you lot.

I just got done watching Toy Story 1 with my gf and her little nephew. And guess which song pop up in the intro?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB2gP...?v=zB2gPZRsz0Q

Here ya go Miles. You can even teach him to yell at loud Korean venders too
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdximU6Ao00&feature=related

That buddy dude looks like a lot of fun, lucky kid. I might just buy a basketball, paint a smiley face on it and stick it in the corner of the room. Sometimes life is a little bit like Castaway plus a little bit of Lost in translation.

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Originally Posted by Ghost

Do you dance?

Don't know what you like to do except talk politics and religion with Bilbo.

Do you like to fish? Shoot pool. (Snooker)

Join a club. (RSL)

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Why have you put (Snooker) after pool. Do you think what we call snooker you call pool?

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Originally Posted by miles

Haha, you bastards! ;D

I don't want a friend anymore. I had a satisfying evening watching the cricket and drinking Japanese beer. England even got the win which was highly unlikely for much of the evening. And now that the day has broken, I feel quite mellowed out. I've always been a solitary kind of man anyway and there is lots that I could be doing. I have the entire university library at my disposal which I haven't even checked out yet and that means free access to online journals. That's my day sorted. And who needs to go out on a friday night? I will stay home, shoot zombies and annoy you lot.

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Can't you just go out for a drink with the least annoying people you drink with, then get to know their mates and their mates until you have established a collective group of people who you can tolerate or who don't piss you off to much and can stand drinking with?