How can I find a friend?

[Gandalf]

miles, why be self conscious about going out alone? People are more apt to talk to you if you're by yourself. Perhaps there is some civic group you could join...I am actually thinking of becoming a Freemason not because I lack friends, I just want to have a deeper connection to my community and expand the group of people I have connections with. I would also suggest going to church, but that might not be your cup of tea....perhaps finding a good coffee shop would suit you.

How old are your students btw?

My students are the usual college age. They range from 18 to 24. Some of the males are back from their military service so can be a fair bit older than you would expect.

I've gone out alone in the past, but it's not so bad in my old city as I know it very well. I kind of know where to go. Here it is quite different. Also, though I can speak the basics of the Korean language fairly well, it can be really hard work in a bar setting. Just as it can be very difficult for many Koreans to strike up a conversation about significant issues in English. It is very hard work.

I suppose it's all about me persevering for the next couple of weeks until my domestic life is back to normal. I haven't lived alone in over 6 years. It feels very unusual having the house to myself. In a way it's kind of liberating. I am sitting here drinking my second type of beer which would be unheard of if the wife was here (I've got all sorts of random stuff), but it does feel kind of empty without her around.

Usually there are foreign communities. For instance, in my old city we even have a community website and there is a network of people. Having become domesticated I kind of fell out of the loop, but it was always there if I needed it. I have tried searching for something similar here, but there doesn't seem to be anything like that. Obviously I could never join a church or anything like that. Just an occasional drinking partner would be nice. Just a once a month thing for when the guys need a little break from the whole domestication thing.

There's bound to be some ex-pats around miles. And don't you teach english? Why not speak English with some of your past students at a pub or something?

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo!

[Gandalf]

Anyway, I am quite okay. My weekdays are busy with work and reading, it's just the long weekends while alone at home that I can get a bit bored. Friday is my day off, but really it should be considered a research day. I should actually be adapting some of my research on Fridays and from now on I think I will. I will go into the office tomorrow afternoon. Then that will leave only the weekend and that's fine. A bit of boxing on a Sunday, some reading on a Saturday. Some zombie shooting in the evenings and life is quite dandy.

[El Kabong]

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo!

But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

[Gandalf]

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo!

But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

Hmm. I thought my sentences were quite clear.

My previous work was freelance. My main two jobs were teaching young kids and slightly older kids at two seperate schools. My new job is at a university where I am finally putting my qualifications to use.

If I were to have a beer with "past" students it would be a little bit wrong. I have experience teaching every range you could ever imagine, but right now it is your standard college age young adults.

[El Kabong]

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo!

But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

Hmm. I thought my sentences were quite clear.

My previous work was freelance. My main two jobs were teaching young kids and slightly older kids at two seperate schools. My new job is at a university where I am finally putting my qualifications to use.

If I were to have a beer with "past" students it would be a little bit wrong. I have experience teaching every range you could ever imagine, but right now it is your standard college age young adults.

...do you have no colleagues? Have a beer with your current students, take them on a field trip to a pub.

[Gandalf]

I teach English but the children at my old schools are a bit young. At one school they are between 5 and 7 and the other school between 11 and 16. I am miles, not Bilbo!

But you just said "They range from 18-24"....so which is it miles do you teach children or college kids?

Hmm. I thought my sentences were quite clear.

My previous work was freelance. My main two jobs were teaching young kids and slightly older kids at two seperate schools. My new job is at a university where I am finally putting my qualifications to use.

If I were to have a beer with "past" students it would be a little bit wrong. I have experience teaching every range you could ever imagine, but right now it is your standard college age young adults.

...do you have no colleagues? Have a beer with your current students, take them on a field trip to a pub.

I have one coworker, but he is Canadian!

Actually, he seems like a nice guy but is a fair bit older than me and keeps himself to himself. And it just wouldn't be cool for me to go drinking with my students. What kind of professor leeches onto his students for company? That is just the height of sadness. Plus in Korea life is quite different from in our countries. Here the students have been at high school from 7am till 9pm in the evening. It's like being released from prison. They deserve to enjoy their own time and find their own friends. In fact Korean university students are mentally younger than what we were. They haven't had the chance to experience or enjoy anything. The last thing they need is the sad, old English professor saying "be my friend, come to the pub!".

I have Korean colleagues, but this place is unusually hands off. You don't really see anyone. You teach your classes, you talk to the admin, but you don't see any other figures. I have made friends with one professor who I met on the day I was interviewed (along with other higher uppers), but this is his last week. He is leaving because he was promised things, looked at his contract and found things were not realised. He gave me a warning saying that this is a quality university, but just make sure you pay lip service to certain professors who really control things. Like a Korean Dershowitz situation really. He is a nice guy and I have his contact details, but he is moving back to Seoul tomorrow and will spend time finishing his Phd and getting things published. He gave me a lot of good advice about publishing actually.

I spend most of my working time in the classroom, in my office and in the admin room. That's it really, there isn't a great deal of time to interact with colleagues.

[No Contest]

Trick your students into going to the pub or somewhere with you, say it's extra credit to practice small talk.

[Master]

Trick your students into going to the pub or somewhere with you, say it's extra credit to practice small talk.

That sounds desperate, you should take up trainspotting or join a club that caters for your hobbies.

[Gandalf]

Ah, I've got it!

Lyle, you have not followed some of my previous threads so you don't know what I am all about. I have spoken about my own work in different threads, so I kind of automatically assume that people catch the gist of what I am talking about. I am not a long time university teacher, it is a new development. Most of my teaching has been with young kids through to adult age learners, but I have never previously worked at a university. My previous jobs prior to this were mainly with what we would all call kids. Sure, I have taught adults, but I haven't done corporate classes for a good while.