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Here's a few of my milder brainfarts:
#1. accidentally brushing my teeth with Preparation H.
#2. forgetting to wash the juice off my fingers after cutting up Jalapeno peppers, and then touching my genitals to take a leak. :-X
#3. tearing off a piece of toilet paper to blow my nose with, then tossing the full roll in the toilet. :looroll:
Sure I was either drunk at the time or had a hangover, but still. :kick:
Any admissions?
In the Off topic section where any nomad can see it, you must be nuts;D
That #2. did that a couple of weeks ago but it was the eyes I rubbed. I looked like Wolak did vs Delvin Rodriquez last week.
Getting caught by my mum, when sticking a bottle of grolsh up a girl's snatch.
What did mum say? I remember back in my last year of High School in 1967 my mother found about 1/4 oz. of weed in my sport coat, she asked me what it was and I told her it was pipe tobacco, and fortunately she believed me!Quote:
Originally Posted by BIG H
this could be a very interesting yet ugly thread.
Too much to ever consider declaring on an open board, but a lot of things I look back on and think "hmm".
A minor incident with a lumpy fart whilst on my stag do.
I brought a Bros single as I thought they were cool.
Stole sweets from a shop.
Caught with porno mag but blamed my uncle.
Nothing I would ever admit on this board.
When I was a kid, I flicked a grain of salt in the air to catch in my mouth (just what some do to peanuts but I didn't have that at the time). It hit my eye. That really burns!
The others are not suitable in any board (whether it's open or hidden).
Drunk a 4-pint funnel in 7 seconds.
Pinched a trolley with a bucket of sand and a fire extinguisher from a 24 hour petrol station.
Similar to others with getting awkward substances in the eye, but with deep freeze solution I'd been using on a muscle. Looked a bit retarded as that eye wasn't doing the same as the other.
Jumping on the roof of a car and hanging on with one hand through each of the front windows and going for a ride. Only half a mile but scary as fuck, even though I was wasted.
That's enough to start with.
I tried a bit of car surfing once but didnt really hold on, just sat on the boot. Yeah I came off pretty badly in that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by superheavyrhun
I dont hate to admit this it was fun at the time, I've tube rode the outside of a train through the underground in London in 87.
Done the car surfing thing too, but never fell off. What got me bad was bumper skiing, where you wear a pair of shoes or boots, hang on to the back bumper, and have the car go down snow covered streets, but your fucked if you happen to hit a dry patch, and I did.Quote:
Originally Posted by MemphisI tried a bit of car surfing once but didnt really hold on, just sat on the boot. Yeah I came off pretty badly in that one.Quote:
Originally Posted by superheavyrhun
I could go on and on with all the dumb shit me and my friends used to do.
Ha we are all barely scratching the surface here for legal reasons. ;D
New heading : What havent you been caught for?
Brilliant ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Andre
There was a story about a guy on the tube a few weeks back, tried having a smoke between carriages, had his head taken clean off apparently ;D
Who needs to smoke that bad? Why not find a nice gentlemans club like Lyle?
Jesus :o that reminds me, ( :D of the Young ones episode with Vivian kicking his own head down the railway tracks)Quote:
Originally Posted by MemphisBrilliant ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Andre
There was a story about a guy on the tube a few weeks back, tried having a smoke between carriages, had his head taken clean off apparently ;D
Who needs to smoke that bad? Why not find a nice gentlemans club like Lyle?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcoWdrerLdU
But also the Lads I was with were from Cambden we were squatting there in some flats.well they were we were just on holidays and partying with them English,Irish and Aussies in one place. We were on our way into London in a train and one of them tapped me on the leg and said hey you gotta do this and join our club, you gotta become a tube rider. So two of us just got out of the carriage and held on the back and went through heaps of stops ;D.
Nooone can see you until you are pulling out and the guard who comes out from the station stands right there next to you and doesnt think to look behind the train and as you pull out he is walking back to his office and doesnt notice you, but all the hundreds of people on the platforms see you and hoot and shit.
Those boys lost one of theres in between two carriages but on the inside in between his head got caught as it went around a bend and got crushed between the two carriages. they tried to revive him and eventually had to go to court and prove they didnt hold him in there (murder). (they didnt, they were gutted, he was their mate). Didnt stop them taking me out there though :cool:.
Cousin of mines licked the ice from the freezer and got stuck, had to use hot water.
Looking at the title of the thread, we'll all agree this "cousin" is actually you right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
;DQuote:
Originally Posted by superheavyrhunLooking at the title of the thread, we'll all agree this "cousin" is actually you right?Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
I once fingered my Nan, does that qualify :-\
When was that........ last week ? :-XQuote:
Originally Posted by Master
;D
I got caught spray painting my name on the back of my nans house but I'd been smart and spray painted my uncles names first, they did it why couldnt I?Quote:
Originally Posted by MattyhitmanWhen was that........ last week ? :-XQuote:
Originally Posted by Master
;D
My nan bought it.......she was stupid.........she's dead now.
Its things you hate to admit not show off about mate ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by BIG H
Ha ha, quality trick..... ;D bless ya Nan tho :(Quote:
Originally Posted by MemphisI got caught spray painting my name on the back of my nans house but I'd been smart and spray painted my uncles names first, they did it why couldnt I?Quote:
Originally Posted by MattyhitmanWhen was that........ last week ? :-XQuote:
Originally Posted by Master
;D
My nan bought it.......she was stupid.........she's dead now.
Anyway this same cousin also once brought some flowers for a girl thinking they were real but turned out to be plastic. :rolleyes:
I had a cousin who went on a school trip to France, got excited at being able to buy booze no questions asked and ended up getting rat arsed, got caught knocking one out in a field.Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
Im pretty sure he then went on to piss over as many tents as he could, the dirty coont.
Cousins eh? ;D
You should both be very very ashamed of yourself. A 'friend' of mine once got so drunk in France had to vomit in an urinal, as the cubicle was occupied. At around 5pm.Quote:
Originally Posted by MemphisI had a cousin who went on a school trip to France, got excited at being able to buy booze no questions asked and ended up getting rat arsed, got caught knocking one out in a field.Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
Im pretty sure he then went on to piss over as many tents as he could, the dirty coont.
Cousins eh? ;D
Excellent is he still good fun?Quote:
Originally Posted by MemphisI had a cousin who went on a school trip to France, got excited at being able to buy booze no questions asked and ended up getting rat arsed, got caught knocking one out in a field.Quote:
Originally Posted by Master
Im pretty sure he then went on to piss over as many tents as he could, the dirty coont.
Cousins eh? ;D