I F'N F'N F'N HATTTTEEE Spiders!!

[Dizaster]

I wish that I could buy a special spray to spray the ENTIRE block that my house is on, and every square inch of the inside of my house so no spider will ever be found in or near my house ever again!!!!

In the last week I have found 5 in my (messy) room... 2 white tails have been crawling in the clothes that I was going to be putting on within a day or 2....

It's summer in Australia.. And that makes it spider season..

BUTTTTT here is the main reason for this post......

I just went out to my car to grab something out of the trunk.... I turned on my outside light as it's 9:20pm so it's just getting dark. I begin my shirtless (it's 85 degrees this evening) stroll down the driveway past my mums car and approached mine.

As I reach about the start of my rear door, only a metre or 2 left in my journey, I feel some spider webs clinging onto my arms. Instinctively I immediately reach to grab and pull at thin air on my arms to remove the webs....BUT...it was already to late..... I had not even removed a single thread of web from my arm, before I realise their is a fucking great big dirty black hairy creepy spindly spider darting across the front of my chest...
Over the next 20 seconds, while managing to stay on my feet, my arms, legs, head and torso span, twirled, threw, cortorted and jumped into what would have been at least 1000 different positions one after another until not only I was sure the spider was gone, but every single creepy crawly feeling I had over my entire body was gone as well....

Did I say I FUCKEN HATE SPIDERS!!!?!?!!!

My car had been parked their no longer than 2 hours... But in that time this creepy, asshole, intrusive, rude, arrogent, cheeky THOUGHTLESS f'khole of a creature had already strung up a new home between my car, and a bush that sits along the edge of my driveway.....

It was a perfect setup to catch any HUMAN that wanted to come to our house... They would have had to walk straight past my car, and hence straight through the middle of this assholes web... But to be honest, I am SURE this setup was really designed,,, so strategically, to catch ME...

Now let me ask you,,,,, Where do these F'King useless creatures get off??

So it's with that question,,,,
That I hereby declare A WAR, against the entire population of spiders that chooses to take up residence ANYWHERE near my house....

- I've decided first phase of my attack plan is to go to the hardware store tomorrow and purchase a complete arsenal of random weaponary to begin taking the fight to THEM!!

This race has had their way, on my block of land for WAY tooooo long...


NOT ANYMORE FUCKERS!!!!!

!!! IT'S ON !!!

[Dizaster]

I have already suffered a setback in my campaign!!

While laying down to watch a movie before bed, I checked over the end of my bed against the wall, and found a small spider there.. It was a harmless one, but I did not want it crawling on me at night, so I got a flip flop and hit it. I missed of course and it ran. I hit a few more times, disturbing some paper and rubbish that was down there, and this spider dissappeared unharmed.... I was pissed off, but as long as it stays put, FINE.. I would just do 10 to 20 seconds surveilance to see if it would pop up again to be finished off..
However my surveilence alerted me to bigger problems... About 10 seconds after the disturbance, a small whitetail came crawling out from the skirting board under the carpet.... It was tiny and I squashed it with a tissue. But another followed... Over the next 5 minutes, I killed about 10 that systematically came out of hiding to make they're way behind my bed to a 'safer' location....

Their migration flow has seemed to have stopped, but having found 1 that had strayed up onto my blanket during the commotion, I am now sleeping in another room of the house.....


- I've now had to put more thought and focus into the first step of my plan.

- Step one is now the purchasing of

1. Pack of insect bombs to blanket the room in deadly poisonous gas.
2. Inside surface spray to spray around the edges of the carpet where they seem to be hiding.
3. Outside surface spray around all enterences into my room and house.
4. Direct spray - for any that survive the initial, blanket poisoning

This should be sufficient ammuntion for the time being.

After my first wave of attack, I will then send in a clean up mission to remove any hiding spots or rubbish from the room, and completely clean up all dead enemies.....



I also now call on assistance from anyone who has any experience in this type of warfare...

CC to anyone offering any help

[Kel]

I nearly pissed myself laughing at these two posts. Specially the walking into the web bit I done that so many times

I'm the same I hate the little twats, although I'm in the UK so we dont get as many big fuckers knocking about. I always have a can of Raid in my flat and this surface spray to spray around windows, doors and air vents. One thing spiders hate is vibrations, I think it fucks their senses. I have a large REL Storm III subwoofer and play that fucker loud from time to time. It does get them out and about looking for a quiet place to hide, thats when I spray their 8 legged asses.

Been looking at those things you plug in too, they are supposed to give out frequences they hate so they don't come near. Just not sure how good they are.

Let me know how you finally manage to spider proof your place.

[X]

I fucking hate them too ..... check out this monstor for its weight ....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_wandering_spider

[Kel]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPh6ag9vPtc


Fuck me!!!!

[CFH]

I hate the little fuckers too, good luck in your campain of eradication and extinction.
I refuse to look at the links posted by X and Kel.

[Dizaster]

I hate the little fuckers too, good luck in your campain of eradication and extinction.
I refuse to look at the links posted by X and Kel.

HAHA me either.... It's now a new day and i'm about to go down the hardware store so i'll post my progress... I'm working with a messed up neck and back from sleeping on a lounge in the living room as under my bed seems to be infested...
I won't be able to sit back and marvel about how freaky these things are over internet links until I take care of the real ones...

[ICB]

Me too i have a phobia of them i think most people hate spiders, to be honest no disrespect to Australia. But i would never go there with the kind of spiders they have.

[Dizaster]

Me too i have a phobia of them i think most people hate spiders, to be honest no disrespect to Australia. But i would never go there with the kind of spiders they have.

No disrespect taken... On a positive note, I live pretty far south so we don't get too many of the super 'exotic' ones down here. And we only have to deal with them over the hotter months really. So maybe 4 to 5 months a year... The rest of the year it's cold and you can pretty much forget they exist.

Up north though where it's hot all year round, they have many many poisonous ones and you'll regularly find spiders bigger than your hands crawling about the house...
I have considered moving up north for the warmer climate, but this is one thing that has kept me from considering it seriously....

I would have thought that some of the more southern states in America would have it's fair share or creepy crawly things...
I've always figured that the UK wouldn't be so bad though.

[Snakey]

Yeah hate them too man and being an aussie we got the fuckin funnel web too

[JT Rock]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPh6ag9vPtc


F*** me!!!!

I JUST PISSED MY PANTS WATCHING THAT

[LEGION]

I love spiders; at least when I know they are there and not crawling on me unexpected. Here's a picture of my "pet" Black Widow that lives on our porch. We have them all over our property, but I named this one Pandora and I like to shoot the sh#t with her while I'm sitting around on the porch She caught herself a tasty caterpillar in these pics I snapped a couple of months ago.

[JT Rock]

I love spiders; at least when I know they are there and not crawling on me unexpected. Here's a picture of my "pet" Black Widow that lives on our porch. We have them all over our property, but I named this one Pandora and I like to shoot the sh#t with her while I'm sitting around on the porch She caught herself a tasty caterpillar in these pics I snapped a couple of months ago.

I rather tie a steak to my left arm and piss of a pitbull as a pet, than a Venemous little crawly fuk spider, I'm seriously scared to death of those little bastards, their vertical leap is that of a prime Michael Jordan and are capabe of covering alot ground like a roadrunner. My rule is if they are in the living quarters than their good as dead.. outside, in the attic and basement they are safe

[LEGION]

I love spiders; at least when I know they are there and not crawling on me unexpected. Here's a picture of my "pet" Black Widow that lives on our porch. We have them all over our property, but I named this one Pandora and I like to shoot the sh#t with her while I'm sitting around on the porch She caught herself a tasty caterpillar in these pics I snapped a couple of months ago.

I rather tie a steak to my left arm and piss of a pitbull as a pet, than a Venemous little crawly fuk spider, I'm seriously scared to death of those little bastards, their vertical leap is that of a prime Michael Jordan and are capabe of covering alot ground like a roadrunner. My rule is if they are in the living quarters than their good as dead.. outside, in the attic and basement they are safe

LOL. My girlfriend wishes I would kill all of them, but I live and let live. I have caught a few inside our house, but I just relocate them outside. I've had several of my pit bulls get tagged by Widows and it can turn nasty and will look like they have basketballs in their heads by the time the venom sets in real well.

It was kinda scary one day a couple of years ago. My girlfriend had cancer at the time and was going through the chemotherapy, and in our bedroom she has a desk. She does bills and stuff at her desk and several times one day she kept saying their was something sticky hitting her knee under the desk. I finally got under there, and low and behold up in the corner was that messy , unconformed web so typical of Widows, and tucked way high in the corner was a big female Widow. It was scary because as sick as she was at the time, a hit from that spider could have killed her. It's amazing that spider didn't tag her, but I removed her and put her outside. My girlfriend was so mad at me and was crying because I wouldn't kill the damn thing

It's amazing she hasn't left me because of my venomous snakes I keep and my "pet" spiders and all my pit bulls{she loves my dogs though }. I'll probably change when one of those widows tags me real good

[JT Rock]

DAMN SHE WAS LUCKY.... your right that could have been a disaster if she got bit at her weaken state.

I hate it when you see a spider in the house plain as day, you turn around for a second and the little fuker is gone thats why I kill or capture on sight so the little shits dont get away and eat me in my sleep lol!!