Question for the married men: What are the pros and cons of being married?

[FinitoElDinamita]

I ask because Ive just been engaged to the girl of my dream ( 9 years younger, the whole package )
and we'll be tieing the knot next year... Im very excited but on the other hand, I know my life will change drastically so I im kind of...... nervous??

[erics44]

through out your married life need to constantly remind yourself - the grass is always greener

[Andre]

There is no magic fairy dust to a marriage its just a partnership.

The best advice is to keep in mind is that to be critical of the partner is the fools way of trying to better the partner ship.

(I dont come up with this stuff myself) I just took notes when someone whos been there and made it work well and said why.

[Kev]

OK I'll start.

Negatives

No sex with other women, unless you cheat and or divorce
She'll prob want kids, which means your life will no longer be your own
You will have responsibilites and commitments to her, her family etc. Much less free time
There will be no more sex with other women ever again unless you cheat
You will have to wake up and look at her every day, ok right now, but as she starts to age...
You will most likely lose all your friends, not much of a social life for a married man
You will officially have given up on meeting the dream girl, nothing to really look forward to again.


Positives

You are less likely to end up dying alone


That's all I got.


Congratulations though.

[Andre]

OK I'll start.

Negatives

No sex with other women, unless you cheat and or divorce
She'll prob want kids, which means your life will no longer be your own
You will have responsibilites and commitments to her, her family etc. Much less free time
There will be no more sex with other women ever again unless you cheat
You will have to wake up and look at her every day, ok right now, but as she starts to age...
You will most likely lose all your friends, not much of a social life for a married man
You will officially have given up on meeting the dream girl, nothing to really look forward to again.


Positives

You are less likely to end up dying alone


That's all I got.


Congratulations though.

Classic, funny as.

[Kev]

Actually on reflection I did think of a few more.

Negs
Once you are married she will probably stop making any effort with her appearance.
If you want out of the relationship at any time she will take half of everything.
Her inlaws will almost certainly be annoying.

Pros
You'll learn to love spending time in the shed...

[Ghost]

There is no magic fairy dust to a marriage its just a partnership.

The best advice is to keep in mind is that to be critical of the partner is the fools way of trying to better the partner ship.

(I dont come up with this stuff myself) I just took notes when someone whos been there and made it work well and said why.

Ain't no business deal here.

[Ghost]

How long you been married Bilbo?

[cnote111]

Lol @ Bilbo's responses... That was good stuff man..

Cons - Bilbo pretty much listed all of the major ones.

Pros - A sense of security and partnership throughout lifes struggles. Having someone take care of you when you are sick. Having someone that genuinlely cares about your health and well being.

Reality - Pros are created on a personal preference of lifestyle. If Bilbos list of cons affect you and make you second guess the marriage then i wouldn't do it. But if you dont' care about that stuff you will discover your own list of pros.

My biggest advice: There is no such thing as the perfect person and there is no such thing as a soul mate. Marriage is extremely hard work, sacrifice, but has the ability to give back 10 fold if you let it.


Good luck man - You're gonna need it!

[Gandalf]

Marriage is a lifelong commitment and if you aren't up to the task then don't bother.

It isn't easy and it will have it's ups and downs depending on how bi-polar you are. But having someone who knows you better than anyone else can ever know you and who is willing to be there to support you no matter how mental you might be is the best thing in the world.

I have joked about marriage and have even told stories about dramatic rice cooker explosions, but my wife is my best friend and my life organizer. I have no regrets about marriage, people on here have sometimes assumed the worst because I have started threads documenting particularly vicious incidents, but those are exceptions and just me venting. Also the wife venting too. I'm not easy to know sometimes.

Marriage isn't for everyone, but for someone like me, I need that rock. I don't know what you are like as a person really and everyone is different. But at least in my case, I believe in marriage. However, there are no religious connotations. It is like Andre says, an agreement between two people, a partnership.

[Mark TKO]

I'm not easy to know sometimes.

I find that a little hard to believe

[Gandalf]

I'm not easy to know sometimes.

I find that a little hard to believe

When I'm good I am very good, but when I am bad I can make women mad.

[Mars_ax]

Let's just say it depends on the woman you marry, if she's a good, supportive woman who's easy to get along with, there's little to fear, you can have a great life together. Family life has worked well for me, after 30 + years together, my wife and I are closer then ever.

The negative side of marriage, is if you get in a bad relationship, it can ruin you, there's a big difference between being boyfriend/girlfriend, and living together 24/7 as husband and wife.

[Mars_ax]

]Marriage is a lifelong commitment and if you aren't up to the task then don't bother.
[/B]
It isn't easy and it will have it's ups and downs depending on how bi-polar you are. But having someone who knows you better than anyone else can ever know you and who is willing to be there to support you no matter how mental you might be is the best thing in the world.

I have joked about marriage and have even told stories about dramatic rice cooker explosions, but my wife is my best friend and my life organizer. I have no regrets about marriage, people on here have sometimes assumed the worst because I have started threads documenting particularly vicious incidents, but those are exceptions and just me venting. Also the wife venting too. I'm not easy to know sometimes.

Marriage isn't for everyone, but for someone like me, I need that rock. I don't know what you are like as a person really and everyone is different. But at least in my case, I believe in marriage. However, there are no religious connotations. It is like Andre says, an agreement between two people, a partnership.

Andre is correct, marriage is an agreement between two people, religion, "god", jesus, the bible, et al, has nothing to do with it.

In my case my wife is not only my lover, best friend, and lifelong companion, she's also the obvious = the basis of my family. I figure if your wife is not the basis of your family, then you really have no business being married.

[Chino]

Wouldn’t not having sex as much as before getting married another con? It is said commonly how sex decreases drastically once she takes a bite of that wedding cake. All of a sudden she’ll start having headaches, too tired for it, too stressed, or even using it as a reward or something to control a man, etc. Sure, sex is not what marriage is all about but it is a part of it.