Irene's Mental Health

[Master]

My mum has dementia and has got lost on occasions and the police have found her when she was gone for some hours. The last time someone brought her home in a car.

You did the right thing and more than most would. She was lucky you were around.

PS
Why are you cunts blaming me you tossers.

[Spicoli]

If I could I'd bro hug Memphis cheesy twat or not I would. Seriously , good on you man and the selflessness. We lost Mom in February after a short agonizing battle with cancer and hospice. I told no one directly but for a couple on here who knew via FB friends and such. She was very much in similar distress with loss of faculties and memory. Driving 6 hr shifts every other night became the norm for a few months. Drive out after work, stay the night, enjoy the next morning and drive back the same evening. My second to last drive 'home' from their house she wept and pleaded with my to not leave. Foolishly and to this day say selfishly I sited "job" and just needed to 'put some things in order' that weekend and I'd turn around and drive back in 2 days. I was so stuck in routine I had 'normalized' it in a weird way. It was the last time she ever spoke and the last conversation we would have. She slipped into a complete non responsive state on oxygen and hung on for one more week before passing. My Father suffers dementia for the last yr and symptoms and degrees are worsening steadily. Last week I called him and as we've learned 'you just don't really know how he is day to day unless you're in person'. He told me this enthusiastic phone call he made the day prior to his old shipmates while they were currently out to sea. It's amazing because he was so full of ship details, character traits and previous missions etc. I knew in the back of my mind but did in fact have to fact check some names upon hanging up. The uss Enterprise has been decommissioned for about five yrs. Many of those ship mates are long gone. They say that with every memory you try to put on the table they can helplessly watch two fall off the side. The thing is he's still aware of that. Not sure why I ran on with that but ya helped me go there with your post. So I say thank you for that. To the rest I say that yes, indeed, be kind to one another and take no one for granted.

[walrus]

Dudes thanks, having the same issue with my moms. She lives in a different state but fortunately not far away. I wanted her to come live with me and my wife but she wants to stay in the town she grew up in where she has her brother and sister along with many nieces. We found a nice assisted living place but I think they are dropping the ball a bit on certain things. I'm bringing her to a doctor this month to start proper testing. I don't want to be one of those dump mom in a facility and forget about it. Anyway, none of us have a problem free life. Probably everyone can talk of a sick immediate family member but we don't come here to do that. I'm one of those in pain everyday people myself but I've gotten use to it and fortunately I can manage it with anti inflammatory meds. This life shit is tough sometimes. You can have shit together and in a blink of an eye everything does a 180. It's quite frightening but the worst is seeing loved ones suffer and slip away. When I was 17 my best friend died in a car accident. To this day I remember his mother throwing herself on his coffin at the grave and screaming. She had to be almost dragged off. I learned kind of early it ain't all fun and games. So these minutes of happiness are very valuable. If in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make, things are good. Damn sorry, kind of depressing, I guess I'm bummed out my love miles is leaving again.

[smashup]

Great post @Memphis mate

My nan who is no longer with us had dementia, i remember as a kid coming down to the kitchen before school and her syrup would be on the kettle for some bizzare reason, i actually thought it was her head the first time.
She'd go out after we left for school and take the wrong key so would end up walking round the block all day then she's be sat on the door step outside totally lost.
Got so bad she didn't have a clue who any of her own kids were in the last year or so.

Mental health issues are still a dirty word and an ex gf of mine suffered badly and the pills the doctors gave her were mind bending and just made her like a zombie.

I took two of them once and was out the game for a few days, they wiped me out so i threw them in the bin as they were fucking her up more.

The biggest problem is people do still see it as being weak (especially men) so they never talk about it.

[brocktonblockbust]

I have never had any qualms or hesitations to announce to th works that I have obsessive compulsive disorder and crippling superstition. Also my IQ is 144 and that complicates this shit like you can't believe. It could take me 45 mins to turn off a light switch some bad days! I am frozen like a lizard or statue and then so complicated to extract myself from a frozen position, repeating rituals, saying certain aspirant/fricatives in certain multiples of numbers with a certain required twist of the head and ONLY DURING THE LAST 50% OF AN EXHALATION WHICH CONTAINS AN ODD NUMBER. @Beanz I am fucked up DSM-IV

[Beanz]

I have never had any qualms or hesitations to announce to th works that I have obsessive compulsive disorder and crippling superstition. Also my IQ is 144 and that complicates this shit like you can't believe. It could take me 45 mins to turn off a light switch some bad days! I am frozen like a lizard or statue and then so complicated to extract myself from a frozen position, repeating rituals, saying certain aspirant/fricatives in certain multiples of numbers with a certain required twist of the head and ONLY DURING THE LAST 50% OF AN EXHALATION WHICH CONTAINS AN ODD NUMBER. @Beanz I am fucked up DSM-IV

You seem to have made a great success of your life and probably in no short part because of it. Harnessing compulsion and using it as fuel to drive your thirst for knowledge has allowed you to master many languages and to travel the world bestowing the greatest of gifts, the power to express oneself to others. You should be proud of yourself. You have much love and empathy but you seem to be embarrassed by it and that way leads to nothing but remorse. You need to love yourself enough to earn more than your students and give yourself permission to be happy. Move and work somewhere you are more appreciated so that you can devote more time to creative pursuits like music etc that will channel your OCD into something productive. You are an amazing human being and you have lost sight of that. It will make things so much better for those you love too.

[brocktonblockbust]

I have never had any qualms or hesitations to announce to th works that I have obsessive compulsive disorder and crippling superstition. Also my IQ is 144 and that complicates this shit like you can't believe. It could take me 45 mins to turn off a light switch some bad days! I am frozen like a lizard or statue and then so complicated to extract myself from a frozen position, repeating rituals, saying certain aspirant/fricatives in certain multiples of numbers with a certain required twist of the head and ONLY DURING THE LAST 50% OF AN EXHALATION WHICH CONTAINS AN ODD NUMBER. @Beanz I am fucked up DSM-IV

You seem to have made a great success of your life and probably in no short part because of it. Harnessing compulsion and using it as fuel to drive your thirst for knowledge has allowed you to master many languages and to travel the world bestowing the greatest of gifts, the power to express oneself to others. You should be proud of yourself. You have much love and empathy but you seem to be embarrassed by it and that way leads to nothing but remorse. You need to love yourself enough to earn more than your students and give yourself permission to be happy. Move and work somewhere you are more appreciated so that you can devote more time to creative pursuits like music etc that will channel your OCD into something productive. You are an amazing human being and you have lost sight of that. It will make things so much better for those you love too.

Thanks for the kind words and understanding and supportive advice and insights. I want to earn more than my students. And I will they even harder to find a job to get that to happen but I don't want to focus only on the monetary returns, it is one factor among a few others, but t sure would be nice. I don't work anywhere near as hard as a carpenter plumber or electrician so why should I think I deserve to earn more than those jobs that my students are earning? I teach grammar, reading, writing, pronunciation and speaking/presentation/non-verbal techniques, that's a helluva lot easier than building a house and carrying heavy stuff for 9 hours. Maybe they do deserve more than me.

I do love myself Beanz and I hope you love yourself too. I sometimes think like you said I do certain amazing things that are rare, and I don't think I've lost sight of that.

Thank you for saying I should be proud, here in New Jersey the cunts are so pressurized to judge you on your credit score and your salary, you don't feel proud to be poor. But there's another side to it, not just the cash.

So AS is something I didn't know you had and didn't know the condition was you needed help getting out if bed I thought you said a few days ago with an electric powered chair back was it? Didn't know you were in pain a lot. You should be proud of yourself for being such a multifaceted photographer, producer, creator as well as caring for your family. I can understand how after you've tried everything for your condition that someone who suggests something as a remedy would be annoying to you.

[TitoFan]

I have never had any qualms or hesitations to announce to th works that I have obsessive compulsive disorder and crippling superstition. Also my IQ is 144 and that complicates this shit like you can't believe. It could take me 45 mins to turn off a light switch some bad days! I am frozen like a lizard or statue and then so complicated to extract myself from a frozen position, repeating rituals, saying certain aspirant/fricatives in certain multiples of numbers with a certain required twist of the head and ONLY DURING THE LAST 50% OF AN EXHALATION WHICH CONTAINS AN ODD NUMBER. @Beanz I am fucked up DSM-IV

You seem to have made a great success of your life and probably in no short part because of it. Harnessing compulsion and using it as fuel to drive your thirst for knowledge has allowed you to master many languages and to travel the world bestowing the greatest of gifts, the power to express oneself to others. You should be proud of yourself. You have much love and empathy but you seem to be embarrassed by it and that way leads to nothing but remorse. You need to love yourself enough to earn more than your students and give yourself permission to be happy. Move and work somewhere you are more appreciated so that you can devote more time to creative pursuits like music etc that will channel your OCD into something productive. You are an amazing human being and you have lost sight of that. It will make things so much better for those you love too.

Gettin' pretty deep in here.

[brocktonblockbust]

I have never had any qualms or hesitations to announce to th works that I have obsessive compulsive disorder and crippling superstition. Also my IQ is 144 and that complicates this shit like you can't believe. It could take me 45 mins to turn off a light switch some bad days! I am frozen like a lizard or statue and then so complicated to extract myself from a frozen position, repeating rituals, saying certain aspirant/fricatives in certain multiples of numbers with a certain required twist of the head and ONLY DURING THE LAST 50% OF AN EXHALATION WHICH CONTAINS AN ODD NUMBER. @Beanz I am fucked up DSM-IV

You seem to have made a great success of your life and probably in no short part because of it. Harnessing compulsion and using it as fuel to drive your thirst for knowledge has allowed you to master many languages and to travel the world bestowing the greatest of gifts, the power to express oneself to others. You should be proud of yourself. You have much love and empathy but you seem to be embarrassed by it and that way leads to nothing but remorse. You need to love yourself enough to earn more than your students and give yourself permission to be happy. Move and work somewhere you are more appreciated so that you can devote more time to creative pursuits like music etc that will channel your OCD into something productive. You are an amazing human being and you have lost sight of that. It will make things so much better for those you love too.

Gettin' pretty deep in here.

Beanz is a giving, loving individual who is misunderstood by most. TITO you too have realized my bad Spanish gutter talk is my friendship to you como fuimos hermanos

[walrus]

I told you each and everyone one of us here are dealing with tough stuff it's just part of this human condition

[Beanz]

I have never had any qualms or hesitations to announce to th works that I have obsessive compulsive disorder and crippling superstition. Also my IQ is 144 and that complicates this shit like you can't believe. It could take me 45 mins to turn off a light switch some bad days! I am frozen like a lizard or statue and then so complicated to extract myself from a frozen position, repeating rituals, saying certain aspirant/fricatives in certain multiples of numbers with a certain required twist of the head and ONLY DURING THE LAST 50% OF AN EXHALATION WHICH CONTAINS AN ODD NUMBER. @Beanz I am fucked up DSM-IV

You seem to have made a great success of your life and probably in no short part because of it. Harnessing compulsion and using it as fuel to drive your thirst for knowledge has allowed you to master many languages and to travel the world bestowing the greatest of gifts, the power to express oneself to others. You should be proud of yourself. You have much love and empathy but you seem to be embarrassed by it and that way leads to nothing but remorse. You need to love yourself enough to earn more than your students and give yourself permission to be happy. Move and work somewhere you are more appreciated so that you can devote more time to creative pursuits like music etc that will channel your OCD into something productive. You are an amazing human being and you have lost sight of that. It will make things so much better for those you love too.

Thanks for the kind words and understanding and supportive advice and insights. I want to earn more than my students. And I will they even harder to find a job to get that to happen but I don't want to focus only on the monetary returns, it is one factor among a few others, but t sure would be nice. I don't work anywhere near as hard as a carpenter plumber or electrician so why should I think I deserve to earn more than those jobs that my students are earning? I teach grammar, reading, writing, pronunciation and speaking/presentation/non-verbal techniques, that's a helluva lot easier than building a house and carrying heavy stuff for 9 hours. Maybe they do deserve more than me.

I do love myself Beanz and I hope you love yourself too. I sometimes think like you said I do certain amazing things that are rare, and I don't think I've lost sight of that.

Thank you for saying I should be proud, here in New Jersey the cunts are so pressurized to judge you on your credit score and your salary, you don't feel proud to be poor. But there's another side to it, not just the cash.

So AS is something I didn't know you had and didn't know the condition was you needed help getting out if bed I thought you said a few days ago with an electric powered chair back was it? Didn't know you were in pain a lot. You should be proud of yourself for being such a multifaceted photographer, producer, creator as well as caring for your family. I can understand how after you've tried everything for your condition that someone who suggests something as a remedy would be annoying to you.

Thank You. A/S for me is nowhere near as debilitating as it was and can be for many. (It was Fenster saying about the electric bed etc) . My back hurts like billy ho and has for years, but the psoriatic arthritis which Walrus also has means the little joints in my hands , fingers and feet can make it difficult to do things at times, because of my heart my stamina is not what it was but I have worked my way from being confined to bed to being able to crouch ringside for 8 fights in a row with two substantial cameras. I gave up smoking and rarely drink, workout no longer with free weights but with body weight exercises and am aware of what i should and should not eat. I am not as disciplined as my little brother who has never touched gluten or wheat in the 29 years he has been on earth, because his Mother as a nutritionist knew exactly how to care for her children with A/S. It is a broad condition like most auto immune disorders and people can be mildly or severely affected. My little Brothers spine has fused a lot and he is bent over but about to finish his Phd so he has not let him stop doing stuff but despite getting all the right nutrients,vitamins and yes minerals he still has to use quite powerful drugs currently an ANTI-TF injection which stops the body attacking itself. SO A/S, Eczema/Psoriasis/asthma/Arthritis are very inter related but A/S has a huge hereditary factor. That and the fact that your spine gradually fuses does make people offering quick fixes, irritating to say the least. I am struggling to make money nowadays without the student support work but am incredibly luck to be able to do what I can creatively which allows me to write (badly) and take photographs and make art when I am not caring for my better half.

I know what you are saying about money not being everything but your commute looks like hell and I don't see why you should not earn the same as a tradesman. I have on occasion earned more labouring on sites or working in factories and in stores then in education but ironically up until this academic year I actually earned the most per hour than I ever have.

@smashup is right it's not weak for men to talk about mental health issues, but society can make it seem like that and the same goes with physical disability which so many find uncomfortable to discuss or even look at head on. The students that I worked with many with Aspergers or on the Autistic Spectrum were not all geniuses but actually the most determined and on occasion gifted academically were often the most disabled. I worked with a non verbal autistic student who was the most incredible musician, a young lad with tourettes who was brighter than the professor teaching him higher maths (on the professors admission) and a girl with no legs who was the most brutal wheelchair rugby player and hard working media student I have ever supported.

There is usually somebody in life worse off than us and it is easy to lose sight of that but also it is easy to be cynical and think that most people are bastards when in reality I have not found that to be the case. My Mrs need help walking etc now so although she is fiercely independent she rarely goes out alone now. When she has in the past though and people have seen her struggling (being only able to use one arm means she can not use a stick and so limps quite badly) she has said strangers often offer to help carry her bags etc. If we are out and she has a fit ( we are usually able to anticipate it and get back to the car or home) then people will make space as i lower her to the ground and protect her head and rally around to offer help.

It's nice to know that people like @Memphis are around when you can't always be there for your loved ones, and I know of other posters here that have done the same for strangers with epilepsy or fits brought on by diabetes. We can all be a right c**t at times, and yet still be a nice fella as well.

[brocktonblockbust]

Great post. Too many points to feedback on at this moment, but what stood out for me us your devotion to your family. When you said "fit" do you mean diabetic seizure/diabetic shock? So there you are protecting your wife's head from the concrete shielding any impact as you yourself are in pain due to back pain etc. FFS that is heroic though you will undoubtedly say it is not. Guess the fusing has not hindered you as much as your brother. BTW Beans, when you did that Christmas ale video you showed great mobility and agility, no signs of pain. I just mean one would never know by seeing that!
"pause!".....

[Beanz]

Yes seizures we call "fits" here in the UK, Scarring on the brain often leads to epilepsy which can be controlled by drugs but not completely and it still scares the shit out of me when it happens, because afterwards for about 10-20 mins she sometimes does not even remember who I am. It also means she cannot have a bath or go swimming without someone present in case of fitting and drowning. Many people with epilepsy have quite active full lives, I know a fiddle player who tours the world with a Folk/Punk band who has it. Anyone would do it for someone they love.

[brocktonblockbust]

Is it like grand mal?

[Beanz]

Is it like grand mal?

Yes exactly. Tonic-Clonic Seizure. She calls it "having a little breakdance"