Funniest joke ever

[LEGION]

legion is chump

Plopeater lives in his mommy's belly button.

legion lives in my pooper

Noah's Ark was a petting zoo compared to the wildlife you got going on up there.

[Plopeater]

Four Indian friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at
a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and
now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second Indian man said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my
pride and joy. He started working for a big airline; he then went to
flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he
gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A
30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the rest-room and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons....What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a
stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a
disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my
son and I love him. He is loved by many. And he's lucky, too. His
birthday just passed the other day and he received a beautiful 30,000
square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from
his three boyfriends. How can a father not be proud of such a son?"

[brucelee]

Four Indian friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at
a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and
Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and
now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave
his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second Indian man said, "Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my
pride and joy. He started working for a big airline; he then went to
flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he
gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A
30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the rest-room and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons....What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a
stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what a
disappointment." The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my
son and I love him. He is loved by many. And he's lucky, too. His
birthday just passed the other day and he received a beautiful 30,000
square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from
his three boyfriends. How can a father not be proud of such a son?"

[LEGION]

Hey Bruce; I was looking at your sig pic. Did you ever see the video of that monk protesting the Vietnam War who lit himself on fire? That was horrible to see. Guy didn't even make a sound when he was melting. Unbelievable.

[yvonne]

There's a Bear and Rabbit having a shit besides each other in the woods between some bushes.

The Bear looks down at the Rabbit and asks"When you have a shit,does the shit stick to your fair?"

The Rabbit looks up at the Bear and say "NO!"



So the Bear picks up the Rabbit and starts wiping it's own arse with it!!!

[Plopeater]

There's a Bear and Rabbit having a shit besides each other in the woods between some bushes.

The Bear looks down at the Rabbit and asks"When you have a shit,does the shit stick to your fair?"

The Rabbit looks up at the Bear and say "NO!"



So the Bear picks up the Rabbit and starts wiping it's own arse with it!!!

Cheers

[Plopeater]

A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife
in bed with another man.
"Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what
if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with
your wife?"
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane
and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."

[Plopeater]

A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were
asked if they would ever sleep with President
Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'

[Plopeater]

Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for.
Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they
had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I put cotton in his
stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The second nurse said, "Well, I did worse
than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted.

[match]

51 years ago, Herman Jones, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber shaved off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist pulled 6 of his teeth. On his third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[Plopeater]

51 years ago, Herman Jones, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber shaved off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist pulled 6 of his teeth. On his third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

[Douglas]

What does a dog say when you rub sandpaper on his ass?


He says *rough* *rough*



Corny, but kind of funny, as some dogs really might say that (depending on their bark).

[Douglas]

Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for.
Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they
had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, "I put cotton in his
stethoscope so he couldn't hear. The second nurse said, "Well, I did worse
than that. I poked holes in all his condoms. The third nurse fainted.

[No Contest]

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the chin.
When is it appropriate to throw wine in an Italian womans face? When her moustache is on fire.
How does every "black" joke start? (looks over both shoulders)
How did the blonde die at the drive-in movie? She went to see "Closed for Winter"
I got a million racist jokes but I'll hold back because some people will probably get pissed.....

[Douglas]

There was a blonde that was wearing some headphones.
They're not adjusted properly so they fall off.
The blonde then dies.
A man nearby is curious, so he puts on the headphones
On the headphones is a recording of a voice saying over and over
*Breathe in* *breathe out* *breathe in* *breathe out* *breathe in* *breathe out*