Saint Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when forty Scousers showed up.
Never having seen anyone from Liverpool at heaven's door, Saint Peter
said he would have to check with God. After hearing the news, God
instructed him to admit the ten most virtuous from the group. A few minutes
later, Saint Peter returned to God breathless and said, "They're gone."
"What All of the Scousers are gone?" asked God. "No" replied Saint Peter "The
Pearly Gates!"

Why does the river Mersey run through Liverpool?
Because if it walked it would be mugged.

Man walks into a shop in Liverpool:
Man: Can I have a pair of tights for my wife?
Shop assistant: Certainly Sir, what size head are you?

Two Scousers have just nicked a car and are checking it over to make
sure that everything works before they use it to ram raid the off-licence.
One gets into the drivers seat and asks the other if the indicators work,
to which his mate replies "Yes, it's working...oh shit, it's stopped...no,
it's OK...stopped again..."