I have a fully soundproofed dungeon, with all the trimmings - leg and arm restraints, cricket bat, butcher hooks, a well full of shitty water, an Iron Maiden, thumbscrew, various sharp implements and a full Sabatier skinning set.

I think there's a Jehovah's Witness in there at the moment (he's a bit of a fraud, because despite being a Witness, under duress he admits that he hasnlt actually seen anything)

In the little vestibule, I have my 'take away' kit - blindfold, pepper spray, rope, chloroform, mobile CCTV kit, rohypnol, tomazepan, ketamine etc.

One kind of leads to the other, so I's like to count them as one item, if that's OK.

I also have a small garage-bought statue of Alan Partridge that talks to me sometimes, but I think that would be second, as he sometimes never shuts up and wants me to do unpleasant things to people.