If anyone knows ol Hayemaker, please forward this handy phrasebook to him:



AKBAR KHALI_KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN
Thank you for showing me your marvellous gun.

FEKR GABUL ORADAN DAVAT PAEH CUSH DIVAR
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the floor
with my arms above my head and my legs apart.

SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH DEH GOFTEH BANDE
I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.

AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the boot
of your car.

FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESH MOHEMARA JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN
If you will do me the kindness of not harming by genital appendages I will
gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.


MINFUDLUK-AL ERDOGLU GRECOKALI ARHAT ....
Yes, O Wise one, I agree that Death should be rained on those Greek infidels on the other side of the island. ....


.....NAM, KORWSH AH JANDAWLAHI
... yes, and it was you who envented the shish kebab and they just copied it off you

MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN
The red blindfold will be lovely your excellency.

TIEKH NUNEH OB KHREELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM
The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you. I really must
have the recipe.