I kinda need advice. Bad times.

[CFH]

Jim really should have learnt from the experiences of others before him that posting about personal issues on here rarely goes well.

Don't throw your pearls to the pigs as Mr Jesus would say.

I find the opposite is true. Unless you happen to be insane...

I'm thinking relationship advice and girls specifically. Myself, El Gamo, Amat, Ono, Miles, Dizaster, Booze etc, all subjects of derision on here at one time because of threads involving attraction to a girl...

I refer you to my second sentence.

[Kev]

Jim really should have learnt from the experiences of others before him that posting about personal issues on here rarely goes well.

Don't throw your pearls to the pigs as Mr Jesus would say.

I find the opposite is true. Unless you happen to be insane...

I'm thinking relationship advice and girls specifically. Myself, El Gamo, Amat, Ono, Miles, Dizaster, Booze etc, all subjects of derision on here at one time because of threads involving attraction to a girl...

I refer you to my second sentence.

Yup, looking at that list of names, there is definitely a common pattern emerging.

We can certainly add Jim to this group..

[Jimanuel Boogustus]

Feel bad but fuck it. Spoke to one of the teacher/ controllers in the school yard this morning. Told him this girl is distracting me from driving, said she is always trying to talk to me and refuses to stay in her seat (not exactly true). Suggested that, for the safety of the other users, He should have a word. He gave me a look as if to say 'that's someone elses job' but said 'don't worry I'll try and sort it' so she will be spoken to sooner or later and I'm sure it will piss her off and turn her right off me. If she gets funny, I'll direct her to Bilbo's facebook page.

[erics44]

ive only just caught wind of this thread which is a pity coz im a master when it comes to advice of a sexual attraction nature

honestly tho as this seems to be a thread of confessions and I have one to tell you

I have a 16 year old cousin in law and im 37, she is girly attractive and a lot of fun, i sometimes do think about her when not in her company, i havent fantasized sexually but i have imagined my self in situations that would be unacceptable

id say when we are in each others company it is flirtatious and she is very touchy feely,

Id never do owt tho, honest

[Gandalf]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

[ono]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

He moves to Korea but he never forgets his northern roots. Cor

[Kev]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

He moves to Korea but he never forgets his northern roots. Cor

I aso love the line 'I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to'. Have you ever come across a more passionate and red blooded man? Such a romantic way with words, no wonder his wife fell for him, must have swept her off her feet with his sexy talk...

He makes Ed Miliband sound racy...

[ono]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

He moves to Korea but he never forgets his northern roots. Cor

I aso love the line 'I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to'. Have you ever come across a more passionate and red blooded man? Such a romantic way with words, no wonder his wife fell for him, must have swept her off her feet with his sexy talk...

He makes Ed Miliband sound racy...

Hahaha. He is from Harrogate though so i can believe it.

[ono]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

What if Megan Fox asked you to touch her fanny?

If she was a building, which building would she be you Lothario?

[Gandalf]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

What if Megan Fox asked you to touch her fanny?

If she was a building, which building would she be you Lothario?

I would politely ask her to take it back to Optimus Prime and also tell her to have a decent shower first in order to remove the stench of cheesy Hollywood blockbusters.

Anyway, you buggers I am not from Harrogate. I am from Worthing, but Harrogate was my last point of departure before embarking on a lifelong British embargo. I am quite familiar with various linguistic forms and readily adopt those patterns in various situations. 'Cor' is one of the great words in the British lexicon.

And as for my romantic way with words, indeed it is quite true that I never sound like Barry White. I don't look like him either, but my wife loves me for being the unique visionary that I am. I could serenade the stars and build a stairway to the moon, but we all know that stuff is utter hogwash. I am a pragmatic realist and some women like honesty. If I am anything, it is eccentric with a decent dose of honesty thrown in for good measure.

I agree with Bilbo too. Jim has always seemed so normal, this thread has been a bit of an eye opener.

[Jimanuel Boogustus]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

What if Megan Fox asked you to touch her fanny?

If she was a building, which building would she be you Lothario?

I would politely ask her to take it back to Optimus Prime and also tell her to have a decent shower first in order to remove the stench of cheesy Hollywood blockbusters.

Anyway, you buggers I am not from Harrogate. I am from Worthing, but Harrogate was my last point of departure before embarking on a lifelong British embargo. I am quite familiar with various linguistic forms and readily adopt those patterns in various situations. 'Cor' is one of the great words in the British lexicon.

And as for my romantic way with words, indeed it is quite true that I never sound like Barry White. I don't look like him either, but my wife loves me for being the unique visionary that I am. I could serenade the stars and build a stairway to the moon, but we all know that stuff is utter hogwash. I am a pragmatic realist and some women like honesty. If I am anything, it is eccentric with a decent dose of honesty thrown in for good measure.

I agree with Bilbo too. Jim has always seemed so normal, this thread has been a bit of an eye opener.

The problem is that to many posters in this thread seem to be stuck in thier ways of taking things way out of context, which is infuriating. It's actually maddening in a way....... But it's fine... I get it now. So like maggots on shit i'll let you usual suspects crawl all over this thread and turn Jimanuel Boogustus into what ever makes you feel better about yourself.
If what i have shared with you it really is too hard to conceive (your just gonna have to take my word for it dickheads) and it is much easier for you to pass me off as a nonse/ lunatic/ liar/ unfaithful then of course I can only say that it says more about you than it does me.

Doesn't necessarily apply to everyone but then in someway's I feel like I wanna say it might as well.

[ono]

Feel bad but fuck it. Spoke to one of the teacher/ controllers in the school yard this morning. Told him this girl is distracting me from driving, said she is always trying to talk to me and refuses to stay in her seat (not exactly true). Suggested that, for the safety of the other users, He should have a word. He gave me a look as if to say 'that's someone elses job' but said 'don't worry I'll try and sort it' so she will be spoken to sooner or later and I'm sure it will piss her off and turn her right off me. If she gets funny, I'll direct her to Bilbo's facebook page.

I think you have handled this badly. But in an amusingly good way

[Kev]

Feel bad but fuck it. Spoke to one of the teacher/ controllers in the school yard this morning. Told him this girl is distracting me from driving, said she is always trying to talk to me and refuses to stay in her seat (not exactly true). Suggested that, for the safety of the other users, He should have a word. He gave me a look as if to say 'that's someone elses job' but said 'don't worry I'll try and sort it' so she will be spoken to sooner or later and I'm sure it will piss her off and turn her right off me. If she gets funny, I'll direct her to Bilbo's facebook page.

I think you have handled this badly. But in an amusingly good way

It's weird. Always thought Jim was just a regular guy, but he's come across as a total lunatic in this thread.

[Andre]

Feel bad but fuck it. Spoke to one of the teacher/ controllers in the school yard this morning. Told him this girl is distracting me from driving, said she is always trying to talk to me and refuses to stay in her seat (not exactly true). Suggested that, for the safety of the other users, He should have a word. He gave me a look as if to say 'that's someone elses job' but said 'don't worry I'll try and sort it' so she will be spoken to sooner or later and I'm sure it will piss her off and turn her right off me. If she gets funny, I'll direct her to Bilbo's facebook page.

You have done as well as you could there I think.


Here
Aside from calling us all cunts for no good reason and attracting flack back for doing so. It has had its fun moments.