I walked out of my front door this morning, and a bird had shat on my car.

It's times like that that I just hate being involved in boxing. I mean, I could have fucked that bird up with a Ninja death move, but I would have spent a while with my skinny cracked ass in a goddamn slammer. I mean, if a bird comes up to me packing heat, my training would just take over and I am a MOTHERFUCKING MONSTOR FOR MY WEIGHT after all.

The murdering paedo rapist next door is also rather annoying, but he does babysit my son, so I am not going to do anything irresponsible there (!).