Any good jokes ????

[Andre]

Mick goes to the doctors and says that his sex life is slipping dramatically.
The doctor checks him out and says "you are just unfit, run 6 miles day for two weeks and then give me a call".
He rings the doc in two weeks and the Doc asks hows his sex life is.
Mick says "How the fec would I know, Im 85 miles from home?'

[Master]

A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while

her Dad is reading the paper.

"Where does poo come from?" she asks.

The father, feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old daughter

is already asking difficult questions, thinks for a moment and says:

"Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the girl.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all

the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums

when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."

The little girl looks shocked, and stares at him in stunned

silence for a few seconds and asks

"And Tigger?"

[InTheNeutralCorner]

British Hospitality
Ralph, a french man age 72, is visiting London for the first time. He decides to skip the afternoon tour and explore the city on his own.

He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.

After a while, he finds himself in a very high-class neighbourhood. Big, stately residences ... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all ... no public restrooms.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinness beers and all that trouble with his prostate.

Ralph finds a narrow side street with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby (policeman), who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies Ralph, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "Just follow me."

He leads him to a back delivery alley, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the bobbie. "Whiz away, anywhere you want."

Ralph enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. There are manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby, "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call 'British hospitality'?"

"No sir," replied the bobbie, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

[InTheNeutralCorner]

Sorry for the large font of the above post. I copied & pasted that from my e-mail and unable to downsize the font nor change the color to black. I am not even able put this statement in the above post at this size & color hence the separate post.

Is the above post already a well-known joke in the UK?

Btw, this post is not a joke.

[Dark Lord Al]

Sorry for the large font of the above post. I copied & pasted that from my e-mail and unable to downsize the font nor change the color to black. I am not even able put this statement in the above post at this size & color hence the separate post.

Is the above post already a well-known joke in the UK?

Btw, this post is not a joke.

No it is not well known we only tell jokes that are funny.

[InTheNeutralCorner]

Sorry for the large font of the above post. I copied & pasted that from my e-mail and unable to downsize the font nor change the color to black. I am not even able put this statement in the above post at this size & color hence the separate post.

Is the above post already a well-known joke in the UK?

Btw, this post is not a joke.

No it is not well known we only tell jokes that are funny.

What if the nationalities are reversed? Would that be funny?

[Master]

Sorry for the large font of the above post. I copied & pasted that from my e-mail and unable to downsize the font nor change the color to black. I am not even able put this statement in the above post at this size & color hence the separate post.

Is the above post already a well-known joke in the UK?

Btw, this post is not a joke.

No it is not well known we only tell jokes that are funny.

What if the nationalities are reversed? Would that be funny?

No we hate the French just as much as you do.