Any good jokes ????

[Andre]

Sorry for the large font of the above post. I copied & pasted that from my e-mail and unable to downsize the font nor change the color to black. I am not even able put this statement in the above post at this size & color hence the separate post.

Is the above post already a well-known joke in the UK?

Btw, this post is not a joke.

No it is not well known we only tell jokes that are funny.

What if the nationalities are reversed? Would that be funny?

No we hate the French just as much as you do.

I like the French joke about Pierre racing into the Gendarmes headquarters on his pushbike yelling out theres a mad man down in the fields he has murdered some poor woman and now he is making love to her.
The Gendarme takes his bike off him and races off down through the fieids then comes back half an hour later and smacks Pierre over the head and Says "You Idiot shes not dead she is English".

[Dia bando]

My wife told me she's leaving me because of my strange sexual need's that fine before you go
do you mind slamming the door on my cock as you go.

[Dia bando]

When I first marred the wife wife I could have ate her
after 25 year's I wish I did.

[roberto duran legend]

I didnt beleive my wife at first when she told me Davey Jones had died,
Then i saw her face

[mrbig1]

I didnt beleive my wife at first when she told me Davey Jones had died,
Then i saw her face

Is she now a believer

[Dia bando]

I fuck in hate double standards sum bird, get a rampant rabbit an it's seen as'a a bit of naughty fun.
but when I ordered my 240 volt fistmaster 5000 latex revolving pussy,with elasticated anus and imitation
shit dribble with breast nipple discharge and seaman collection tray.
With built in realistic rape cry sound system, I'm known as sum kind of sick pervert.

[robdux]

2 friends are sitting at a bar drinking and bullshitting, when 1 looks across the bar and sees 2 old guys sitting there drinking. so he says to his friend hey look at the 2 old guys on the other side of the bar, that is going to be us in 20 years. his friend looks at him and says "Thats a Fucking Mirror!"

[Master]

My ex wife misses me, but her aim is getting better.

[FinitoElDinamita]

How do chinese people name their babies?


They throw a coin down the stairs and whatever sound it makes.. ching chong chow

[Master]

I use to like farm machinery but not any more.

I am an extractor fan.

[Master]

My wife has been having an affair with Usain Bolt. He is in big trouble when I catch him.

[Master]

“How’s the diet going?” I asked the wife
“Not good” she responded.
“I had an egg for breakfast”.
“Fried?” I probed
“No, Cadbury’s”.

[Stickgrappler]

Superman and Chuck Norris had a bet once...loser wears his underwear on the outside.

[Master]

Top 10 pun jokes

I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.

Kim Kardasian is saddled with a huge arse... but enough about kanye west.

Surely every car is a people carrier.

What’s the difference between hippo and Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably would not go.

Jesus fed 5,000 people with 2 fishes and a loaf of bread. That is not a miracle. That’s tapas.

Red sky at night. Sheppard delight.
Blue sky at night. Day.

The first time I met my wife I knew she was a keeper.
She was wearing massive gloves.

Clowns divorce.
Custardy battle.

They’re always telling me to live my dreams. I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for...

[Master]

My mate is a massive F1 fan. I prefer Ctrl and Caps Lock Shift.