Any good jokes ????

[Dia bando]

My son asked me, what's a conservative so I stole all his toy's, and gave them to the rich family next-door.

[Dia bando]

How do Australasians, like there steaks like there Gold Medals rare.

[Andre]

How do Australasians, like there steaks like there Gold Medals rare.

Brings new meaning to Bronzed Aussies .

[Master]

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "F*** off, you won't bring it back."

[Dia bando]

Anal sex, is like your first car your Dad gives it you, but you don't really want it.

[Dia bando]

A man phone's up, work Talking to his boss I can't come into work I'm sick, the boss how sick are you
the answer I'm in bed with the daughter.

[Master]

My son asked me, what's a conservative so I stole all his toy's, and gave them to the rich family next-door.

That is half the story, you also would join that family as a non-director when you retire and live off their fat profits.

[roberto duran legend]

Just been watching the ladies beach volleyball and there has already been
a bad wrist injury,i should be ok by the morning.

[Andre]

Just been watching the ladies beach volleyball and there has already been
a bad wrist injury,i should be ok by the morning.

Told my parents that yesterday they fell about.
They are in their 80's, both south Londoners.

My mum says: theres this older couple who go out to their favorite restaurant and while there, a young stunning woman comes up and pashes her husband ruffs his hair up smiles and walks off to the bar.
The wife asks whats that all about!? and the husband says "Oh well I may as well let you know that is my mistress".
The wife says its over and shes leaving him. And he says fair enough, but there wont be any more nights out in restaurants , no more diamond necklaces or holidays in the Caribbean. Just then his best mate walks in the door with a young bird under his arm. His wife looks at them and says who the hell is that!" HEr husband says oh thats Petes mistress" His wife turns to him and says "she isnt as pretty as our one."

[Andre]

Bloke comes home from the pub rolling up the stairs, His wife is furious and says after 12 again, what would you do if one night you come back and Im here with another man? He looks at her out of one eye and says "I'd shoot his dog."

[roberto duran legend]

Robin Van Persies house has been burnt down.....The police suspect Arsene.

[cnote111]

A Jewish Dad and his son were sitting at the dinner table together. The son asks "Dad, can i borrow 40 Dollars?"
The Dad replies "30 Dollars!!!, what the hell you need 20 Dollars for?!?!?!"