Any good jokes ????

[Andre]

Just been watching the ladies beach volleyball and there has already been
a bad wrist injury,i should be ok by the morning.

Told my parents that yesterday they fell about.
They are in their 80's, both south Londoners.

My mum says: theres this older couple who go out to their favorite restaurant and while there, a young stunning woman comes up and pashes her husband ruffs his hair up smiles and walks off to the bar.
The wife asks whats that all about!? and the husband says "Oh well I may as well let you know that is my mistress".
The wife says its over and shes leaving him. And he says fair enough, but there wont be any more nights out in restaurants , no more diamond necklaces or holidays in the Caribbean. Just then his best mate walks in the door with a young bird under his arm. His wife looks at them and says who the hell is that!" HEr husband says oh thats Petes mistress" His wife turns to him and says "she isnt as pretty as our one."