Does God have a purpose for your penis?

[Beanz]

They say that God has a purpose for his creations, this is confirmed every-time you get a stiff one, fact!

Seriously, I was talking to a christian friend of mine a few weeks back who said he felt guilty when he masturbated. (but apparently couldn't help himself) Because the "sex" wasn't with his wife, and therefore God wouldn't approve of it. (I'm not making this up)

I don't know if he listened, but I told him that it was his tallywacker , not "God's" and he could do anything he damn well pleased with it, including jacking-off 10 times a day, without feeling any "guilt".

Thoughts?

It is strange that a omnipotent God should create a body so imperfect for the roles he wished it to fulfil. The Talmudic tradition of referring to spilled seed as the murder of unborn generations and the creation of demons has at it's heart the story of Onan. He was the son of Judah and when his brother Er died his dad Judah told him to go and srvice his sister in law Tamar and give her some offspring. So Onan went and had a portion but withdrew before the last chorus and spilled his little soldiers onto the earth. He did this because according to Jewish law any child he created with Tamar would not be considered his heir. God being such an all loving forgiving type chap made sure he was rewarded with an early death.

Many Christians take this to mean that masturbation is forbidden. Which is strange as he was not masturbating and other crazy old testament mitzvahs, or commandments, like circumcision, have been sensibly rejected by Christians. The repercussions of such beliefs continue to echo today. Catholics like strict Orthodox Jews still wont use condoms because weirdly they think that counts as ejaculation outside of the vagina and results in destruction of the seed. Millions die in abject poverty and starvation but at least their parents did not use a condom

In theory your friend should be fine cracking one off as long as he can hold off ejaculating until he finds a welcoming minge.Which probably has to be his wifes.

Anyway back to my original point. Why would God create a penis that during adolescence would involuntarily waste seed outside of a vagina in a horny teenagers sleep? Why let the unmarried get hardons before they can ritualistically dispose of them with their wives in the allowed way? Is he so obsessed with testing us? Why is there nothing in the Torah or Bible against women masturbating? Why is the human foot made up of so many bones and pretty poorly designed for walking upright? An ostrich foot is better. OUR feet were great for climbing as monkeys but give us back, shin and ankle problems because as bipedal hairless monkeys they are inefficient.

And yes you are right it is his Tallywacker. It reminds me of an Old Jethro Joke.



"Son, you didn't ought to be doing that you'll go blind you know"





















"I'm over here Dad"

[Saddo]

your friend is going to hell i'm afraid.... but who wants to be allowed somewhere where he is judged for enjoying something that isn't harming anyone

A man goes to the doctors and says " every time I sneeze i get a hard on"

the doctor asks if he is taking anything for it.

the man says... "pepper"

[Mars_ax]

your friend is going to hell i'm afraid.... but who wants to be allowed somewhere where he is judged for enjoying something that isn't harming anyone

A man goes to the doctors and says " every time I sneeze i get a hard on"

the doctor asks if he is taking anything for it.

the man says... "pepper"

Yup, i'm afraid my friend is going to be crispy fried for an eternity, he just can't keep his hands off of his Johnson. I believe there's an extra hot place in hell reserved for masturbaters. (I didn't have the heart to tell him)

Funny stuff, I did actually go to my doctor for a prostate exam again last year, I hate the fucking exam, (let's just say my Dr. has a weird sense of humor) but hey it's better knowing that you don't have cancer or nipping it in the bud if you do. Every-time I go he offers to write me a prescription for, Viagra, Cialis, et al, so this time I said WTF, write me some with a few refills.

A little later an RN had me come into her office, the first thing she tells me, is that i'll probably have a heart attack if I use the viagra/cialis, say what? Then she tells me a story about how Viagra was discovered, it seems the ingredients use to be used as an experimental blood pressure medication, until it started causing some people to have heart attacks, and it was recalled. It had also been given to a group of 5 men and 5 women who were asked to return it to their Dr. All the women complied, but none of the men would because they were getting erections, some who hadn't had any in years.
So that's how Viagra was born, as well as all the other hard-on meds, which have the same basic ingredients.

[Andre]

They say that God has a purpose for his creations, this is confirmed every-time you get a stiff one, fact!

Seriously, I was talking to a christian friend of mine a few weeks back who said he felt guilty when he masturbated. (but apparently couldn't help himself) Because the "sex" wasn't with his wife, and therefore God wouldn't approve of it. (I'm not making this up)

I don't know if he listened, but I told him that it was his tallywacker , not "God's" and he could do anything he damn well pleased with it, including jacking-off 10 times a day, without feeling any "guilt".

Thoughts?

It is strange that a omnipotent God should create a body so imperfect for the roles he wished it to fulfil. The Talmudic tradition of referring to spilled seed as the murder of unborn generations and the creation of demons has at it's heart the story of Onan. He was the son of Judah and when his brother Er died his dad Judah told him to go and srvice his sister in law Tamar and give her some offspring. So Onan went and had a portion but withdrew before the last chorus and spilled his little soldiers onto the earth. He did this because according to Jewish law any child he created with Tamar would not be considered his heir. God being such an all loving forgiving type chap made sure he was rewarded with an early death.

Many Christians take this to mean that masturbation is forbidden. Which is strange as he was not masturbating and other crazy old testament mitzvahs, or commandments, like circumcision, have been sensibly rejected by Christians. The repercussions of such beliefs continue to echo today. Catholics like strict Orthodox Jews still wont use condoms because weirdly they think that counts as ejaculation outside of the vagina and results in destruction of the seed. Millions die in abject poverty and starvation but at least their parents did not use a condom

In theory your friend should be fine cracking one off as long as he can hold off ejaculating until he finds a welcoming minge.Which probably has to be his wifes.

Anyway back to my original point. Why would God create a penis that during adolescence would involuntarily waste seed outside of a vagina in a horny teenagers sleep? Why let the unmarried get hardons before they can ritualistically dispose of them with their wives in the allowed way? Is he so obsessed with testing us? Why is there nothing in the Torah or Bible against women masturbating? Why is the human foot made up of so many bones and pretty poorly designed for walking upright? An ostrich foot is better. OUR feet were great for climbing as monkeys but give us back, shin and ankle problems because as bipedal hairless monkeys they are inefficient.

And yes you are right it is his Tallywacker. It reminds me of an Old Jethro Joke.



"Son, you didn't ought to be doing that you'll go blind you know"





















"I'm over here Dad"

(The truth will set you free).
The rules are mens doing. Free will is your greatest gift along with life and the big religions would steal both from you, if you allow them to.


Look at celibacy within the church ... Ok Ill empty one up an alter boy instead

Mary Magdalene, never was a prostitute.

Removing womens clitoris is a whimps attempt at keeping women to themselves,how dare they say God got that body part wrong and make an in house law to remove it. They are just as insane as the celibate Catholic priests.

Maybe the Greek translators got Celibate life and celebrate life mixed up .

[Gandalf]

There is no God and you make your own decisions. If someone is so absurd as to think God will be on their case for having a wank then God help them. Religion like most forms of control is based upon nothing more than unsubstantiated fear. It is a deplorable concept that reduces otherwise fairly decent people.

[Mars_ax]

There is no God and you make your own decisions. If someone is so absurd as to think God will be on their case for having a wank then God help them. Religion like most forms of control is based upon nothing more than unsubstantiated fear. It is a deplorable concept that reduces otherwise fairly decent people.

I'm a hardcore atheist, and a cynic when it comes to religion, but I still can understand why many people benefit from it, even if in reality it's just the placebo effect. I can handle the stark reality that there is no god or jesus like the one's described in the bible, and no heaven or hell except for the one we may experience here on earth. For many however, illusions can be comforting, and who am I to say they can't believe what they want, no-matter how ridiculous it may be.

[Andre]

Mars and Gandalf I've sat in your chair and know the feeling 100%. I think only people who have astral traveled know what is above and below this the third dimension. To a material brain anything else all would seem to be imagination.
Until you solve a crime with it or take someone physically where you have been in spirit and explain it to them in detail before you both arrive can the material mind even begin to comprehend eltro magnetic energy co-existing outside the physical realm.
You believe 100% you are your thoughts and when your brain dies you die. You are more than your own thoughts but until you learn how to not think and learn how to put it in neutral, you wont be able to experience even the first % of it.

[Mars_ax]

Mars and Gandalf I've sat in your chair and know the feeling 100%. I think only people who have astral traveled know what is above and below this the third dimension. To a material brain anything else all would seem to be imagination.
Until you solve a crime with it or take someone physically where you have been in spirit and explain it to them in detail before you both arrive can the material mind even begin to comprehend eltro magnetic energy co-existing outside the physical realm.
You believe 100% you are your thoughts and when your brain dies you die. You are more than your own thoughts but until you learn how to not think and learn how to put it in neutral, you wont be able to experience even the first % of it.

@Andre, The gist I what i'm getting from you is you're a bit like that Professor in "Back to the Future". If what you're basically saying is our "consciousness" and/or "eltro magnetic energy" somehow transcends death, then no, with all due respect I don't buy it. When the brain dies, we die along with any "energy" we were producing, and everything that was you, is history.

[Andre]

Mars and Gandalf I've sat in your chair and know the feeling 100%. I think only people who have astral traveled know what is above and below this the third dimension. To a material brain anything else all would seem to be imagination.
Until you solve a crime with it or take someone physically where you have been in spirit and explain it to them in detail before you both arrive can the material mind even begin to comprehend eltro magnetic energy co-existing outside the physical realm.
You believe 100% you are your thoughts and when your brain dies you die. You are more than your own thoughts but until you learn how to not think and learn how to put it in neutral, you wont be able to experience even the first % of it.

@Andre , The gist I what i'm getting from you is you're a bit like that Professor in "Back to the Future". If what you're basically saying is our "consciousness" and/or "eltro magnetic energy" somehow transcends death, then no, with all due respect I don't buy it. When the brain dies, we die along with any "energy" we were producing, and everything that was you, is history.

Im not like that Professor that would Miles without all the machinery.

Im more like Melchizedek. Anyway it doesnt matter what any one believes,your own free will will do its best to combine with what you have around you to supply you with the grounds to experience what ever it is your higher self requires. People operate off the platforms they are meant to in their own comfort or discomfort zones. Dna/ rna stores past memories as well not only yours but those of your ancestors. There is also a dimension either side of us. Physics has proven it beyond doubt, they even see electrons (the same things our intelligence is made from) Jumping in and out of this dimension,they can visually see them doing it now.
Material is slowly progressing.

[0james0]

It's all just matter and actually none of it matters (the whole space/ time/ god thing)

If god was/ is so against sperm being wasted outside of the vadge, why is he keen to allow it to be spray painted onto choir boys for centuries?

God cares about your friends cock as much as his wife does.



Just for fun, what you should do, considering it has been so long, is take your friend to a strip club and pay for him to have a dance. Guaranteed soggy pants.

[Spicoli]

I'd imagine God has enough two legged dicks and assholes in need of a lightning strike to worry about the one in me pants, but if he made it his business it wouldn't be the first time some Diva cock blocked me

The question is that if God gets the dicks...whos in charge of all the pussy We need to TALK!!!!