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Thread: Any good jokes ????

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  1. #1
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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    NEWS JUST IN


    ''Carol Thatcher has just been hit with the bedroom tax".

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    Quote Originally Posted by roberto duran legend View Post
    NEWS JUST IN


    ''Carol Thatcher has just been hit with the bedroom tax".
    Saddo will nick that one too and make out it is his own on another thread.
    Do not let success go to your head and do not let failure get to your heart.

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    Default The Sensuous Wife

    "Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

    "No," said her husband.

    She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

    "Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?" she asked.

    "Uh, no," he said.

    She gave him another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

    "Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

    "No," he said, now really intrigued…

    "Well, go look in the garage..."
    "A good stickgrappler has good stick skills, good grappling, & good stickgrappling & can keep track of all 3 simultaneously. This is a good trick & can be quite effective." - Marc 'Crafty Dog' Denny

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    Default Definition of a Dilemma

    One friend said to the other, “What is a dilemma, actually?”

    He replied, “Well, there's nothing better than an example to illustrate that. Imagine that you are laying in a big bed with a beautiful naked young woman on one side and a gay man on the other."

    "Who are you going to turn your back on?"
    "A good stickgrappler has good stick skills, good grappling, & good stickgrappling & can keep track of all 3 simultaneously. This is a good trick & can be quite effective." - Marc 'Crafty Dog' Denny

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    Default MY Rezimay

    From: eclark0433@bellsouth.net
    Date: 2/14/2013


    Deer Sur,

    I waunt to apply for the secritary job I seen in the paper. I can type real kwik wit one finggar and do sum Acounting 2.

    I think I am good on the fone and I am a pepole person. Pepole really seam to respond good to me.

    Im lookin for a jobb as a secritary but it kant be 2 complikaited

    My spelling is not 2 good but find that I awfin get a job Bcuz of my persinalety.


    My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am wurth.

    I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse 4 yore anser.

    Hopifuly I M Yore best aplicant so phar.


    Sinseerly,

    Peggy May McBiggins

    PS : I half includeded a pickture of me B low.



    Employer's response

    Peggy May:

    You can start Monday, we have spell check.
    "A good stickgrappler has good stick skills, good grappling, & good stickgrappling & can keep track of all 3 simultaneously. This is a good trick & can be quite effective." - Marc 'Crafty Dog' Denny

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    Default Re: Any good jokes ????

    What did Julius Rain say to Missy when he ran into her at a club?

























    "wanna go half on a bastard"?

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    Default Boudreaux

    Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty.

    Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center.

    Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

    The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge.

    The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch.

    Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you have the normal GI insurance an' you goes to Afghanistan and ya gets killed, da govment' pays your benefishery $20,000.

    If you takes out da supplamental insurance, which cost you only thirty dollars a month, then the government gots to pay your benefishery $400,000!

    "Now," Boudreaux concluded, "which bunch you think they gonna send to Afghanistan first?
    Last edited by Stickgrappler; 04-16-2013 at 08:29 PM. Reason: formatting
    "A good stickgrappler has good stick skills, good grappling, & good stickgrappling & can keep track of all 3 simultaneously. This is a good trick & can be quite effective." - Marc 'Crafty Dog' Denny

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