Any good jokes ????

[Stickgrappler]

What is the difference between rape and football?

Women hate football.

Sick joke I heard from a famous comedian.

There are a few subjects that for me won't ever be funny... Rape is one of them.

Boo on that Famous comedian.

[Master]

What is the difference between rape and football?

Women hate football.

Sick joke I heard from a famous comedian.

There are a few subjects that for me won't ever be funny... Rape is one of them.

Boo on that Famous comedian.

Alan Carr

[Stickgrappler]

Alan Carr

not dissing you or him, i've been living in a cave since i've been married and became a father 16 yrs ago.

i dk him.

[El Kabong]

I had sex with a hipster chick the other night....it was like sex with a regular girl only before I ate her pussy I had to upload pictures of it to Instagram

[Stickgrappler]

I had sex with a hipster chick the other night....it was like sex with a regular girl only before I ate her pussy I had to upload pictures of it to Instagram

as a former IG user, i LOLOLOLOL'd!

[Stickgrappler]

Four types of Orgasm


type 1 the positive

"OH YES, OH YES, OH YES"


type 2 the negative

"OH NO, OH NO, OH NO"


type 3 the religious

"OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD"



type 4 the fake

"oh El Kabong, oh El Kabong, oh El Kabong "

[Memphis]

Odds on being next to pick up the Ashes

England 6/4
Australia 3/1
Winnie Mandela 1/3
Sheryl Gascoigne 4/5

[Dark Lord Al]

What is the difference between rape and football?

Women hate football.

Sick joke I heard from a famous comedian.

There are a few subjects that for me won't ever be funny... Rape is one of them.

Boo on that Famous comedian.

Alan Carr

Well he would know all about the subject of women.

[Stickgrappler]

A guy brings his buddy home for dinner.

His wife screams at him, "My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!" "What the f*ck did you bring him here for?"

"He's thinking of getting married."

[Stickgrappler]

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .
ABBOTT: Good subject ... terrible times. It's 7.8%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.
COSTELLO: You just said 7.8%.
ABBOTT: 7.8% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 7.8% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that's 14.7%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 14.7% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that's 7.8%.
COSTELLO: Wait a minute. Is it 7.8% or 14.7%?
ABBOTT: 7.8% are unemployed. 14.7% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: But THEY are out of work!
ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But all of them are out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how they get it to 7.8%. Otherwise it would be 14.7%. Our govt. Doesn't want you to read about 14.7% unemployment.
COSTELLO: That would be tough on those running for reelection.
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an Economist.
COSTELLO: I don't even know what the hell I just said!
ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like Congress.

Note: I usually don't post on politics, but chuckled at this one cos it was in the spirit of A & C's classic Who's On First? which I love

[Stickgrappler]

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors
of a sunken ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the
mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our
fins showing." And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just
eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the sh!t inside!"

[El Kabong]

A man walks into a bar....

Bartender says: "What'll it be pal?"

The man says: "Give me 7 Whiskeys all lined up in a row.....and make 'em doubles"

The Bartender pours them out, lines them up and the man downs one right after the other until all 7 glasses are empty in a matter of mere seconds.

The Bartender gasps in amazement: "Wow, I've never seen anyone drink like that"

The man responds: "Well you'd drink that way too if you had what I have"

The Bartender says: "What do you have?"

The man says: "A dollar"