Any good jokes ????

[Master]

My dog only responds to commands in Spanish. He’s an Espanyol.

[walrus]

Omg master must have bought a book of corny jokes.

[El Kabong]

too soon?

Finally justice for Harambe

[Gandalf]

Here's a good one...............Ruthless Rocco!

[Master]

My cat's recovering from a massive stroke.

Jesus fed 5,000 people with 2 fishes and a loaf of bread. That is not a miracle. That's tapas.

A study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

I've just written a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a rap.

[brocktonblockbust]

Here's a good one...............Ruthless Rocco!

Holy SHIT, bro! Good one! :-)

[Dark Lord Al]

The remain campaign .

[Master]

Canelo.

[Master]

They say Iceland is a place to make good savings.

Shame they did not tell that to Joe Hart.

[Xwetie]

Hey Europe! You look great, have you lost a few pounds?

[Master]

Met the bloke who invented crosswords today. Can’t remember his name, but its P something T something R.

“I want to make a complaint”, I told the woman our supermarket. “this vinegar has got lumps in it”. “Those are pickled onions, sir” she replied.

Cowboy walks into a German car showroom and shouts “Audi”.

Asked the waiter for something herby. He gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

Phone rang, so I picked it up and asked “Who’s speaking?” Voice on the other end replied “You are.”

[Master]

Does time fly when you are having sex or was it really just one minute?

What do you give a sick florist?

If tomatoes are a fruit isn't ketchup a smoothie?

I have CDO. It is like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order as they should be.

[Master]

If you love someone set them free" Unless you're a prison officer dating an inmate

[Master]

Man goes into bar and orders 20 pints of larger and drinks them as quick as the barman is pouring them.

Barman says "blimey, you are drinking them a bit quick"

Man said "So would you if you had what I had".

Barman say "what is that then?"

Man says "50p"

[Master]

A disgruntled man was pulled over by a police officer for speeding and given a ticket.

Man said "would I get another ticket if I said you were a jerk?"

Officer said "yes"

Man said "What if I thought you were a jerk?"

Officer said "I can't give you a ticket for what you think"

Man said fine "I think you are a jerk".