Quote Originally Posted by walrus View Post
Miles is right I did mention joining a gym. I don't work out that much anymore. My weekend job is physical, it's the kind of job you get beat up physically a bit so yes there is more I could do to help these thoughts but I have to admit I think I, and it's sad to say, enjoy being stuck in morbidity sometimes. I did buy a PlayStation 4 last November and I finally started playing it. A few published medical reports say video games are good for the brain and my help ward off dementia. Took me a while to find a game I liked but I got a Star Wars game and although I keep getting killed off its kind of fun. My most recent spell of impending dooms feeling has passed. I think I got a bit warped all the years of working mental health and jails etc. I think cutting back those hours and continuing in my new career is only going to help. Miles is right, life is very hard sometimes but once in a while u can squeeze out a few ounces of beauty, then it's back to the shit
You wouldn't be human if you didn't have them. It's a bit like when we listen to a song, you are drawn more to songs about lost love and existential dread rather than happy dance tunes where everything is all bubblegum glee. We are complex, sad, tragic souls and you cannot just erase it from your identity completely. I think sometimes if I wasn't moaning about something, then it wouldn't be me and that wouldn't be genuine either.