What the fuck is going on in Bridgend?

[X]

I've never been there and would never wish to but it's in Wales and it's called Bridgend so I'm imagining a dreary, desolate, windswept, barren, sodden landscape of hills and swampland, always raining, always cold.

It's probably near the sea hence the name, so picture a small collection of houses huddled together for warmth atop a wretched, treeless hill, crashing waves and howling winds on one side, empty wasteland and treacherous bogs on all the others.

Shivers

I've never seen a bridge that crosses a sea. I think that ones that go a bit outwards and then just give up are called 'piers'?? (pedant's corner strikes again)

Still, you're pretty spot on with the rest of it .... are you sure you've never been?

[X]

A teenager in Bridgend was saved from serious injury when he fell 30 feet from a balcony this morning. A police spokesman said -Good job he had that rope around his neck or he would have broken his legs-.

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Because of the problems in Bridgend Police have been instructed to avoid using the following phrases when dealing with teenagers:
"Do that again and your feet won't touch the ground"
"If you keep on causing trouble I'll hang you out to dry"
"You could get a suspended sentence for doing that"

[X]

Aled Jones and Charlotte Church have launched a 24 hour help line in Bridgend. Police say they are expecting the suicide rate in the town to increase dramaticaly.

[X]

I told some of these jokes jokes in an Old Folks home yesterday.

They didn't laugh,



But they pissed themselves anyway.




(badum-tish)