Fantanas Guide to dealing with Heart Break
Fantanas Guide to dealing with Heart Break
A HMHT has experienced pretty much all that life has to offer including the delights of being able to talk with moderately attractive women without them throwing up. Heart Break is one of those things which can make even the most rugged real man, such as myself, loose his way. The reason Hearts Break is scientifically proven to be related to dehydration, lack of sexy time and your lovers mother. You can take care of the first two by drinking more fluoride free water and buying some new white socks (or for the smaller member getting free white socks from megabowl). The third one however is just one of those things which cannot be changed, like annoying Welsh people. Rather than stewing in your own mess all alone just follow this effective guide to make sure you can deal with something almost as painful as blue ball syndrome.
4 Simple Steps to kicking Cupids Ass
1)The last thing you need is to be constantly reminded of that girl you were physical with, sexually I mean. Get rid of anything that will remind you of her. Photos, clothes or used rubber you left lying on the floor to show off to friends. All of these things need to be put somewhere like in your collection of old girlfriends shit or disposed off, perhaps clinically. Out of sight, out of mind. Just use the same thing you had to do when you couldn’t drop off your little soldiers in a timely fashion when with her, think of other girls.
2)HMHTs are like tigers, strong, muscular and menacing but never ginger. Ever. Like tigers HMHTs can not stand to be caged, unless of course it is with a hot women who is on heat. What you need to do is go out, explore the land and have a lot of fun, in a non gay way. Make plans for every single day but remember to work them around your bowls of coco pops with manwhiches. You may have other less important commitments like work or funerals, don’t neglect them completely, but don’t engulf yourself in them because that would be hiding the problem like you would hide a flesh wound in a gun fight. Or fat in a shirts off showdown. You need to deal with this head on and take it violently from behind, no pun intended.
3)Surround yourself with people, other HMHTs would be ideal. However, standard humans will do. You will constantly be reminded how much better you are than them and this will of course make you feel much better. You can laugh at their short comings and point them out to raise your own status. It is ok to let these dip-shits know you are hurting inside, in a non gay way, as it will make you appear slightly vulnerable and they will offer to buy you things. If it stops working start acting more Heart Broken, maybe put on a loose fitting top rather than a muscle clinger.
4)Something done over again and again will create a habit or an anchor. An anchor is something which for example when you are feeling low and you hear a song enough times while in that low state will trigger an emotion. The next time you hear that song even if you are happy you will be put into a low state again. Don’t allow this to happen because you don’t want to be in the middle of a Shirts off Showdown with an arch rival and “Akon – It don’t matter comes” on and your routine falls apart. Habits are done over and over again and can become part of your everyday life. Humans have many habits which when observed from the superior perspective of a HMHT seem utterly insane or pointless. It creates for them a comfort zone they don’t want to be removed from. Make sure whatever your habits are they are positive and inline with what a HMHT should be doing like picking on Galiens but never making bare skin contact with them.
Final Thoughts
A Broken Heart may take a long time to heal, even longer than your relationship lasted, so we are dealing with perhaps 2 and half weeks. It is important to stick to the guide and not drift away in a blaze of horniness desperation. If you feel physically sick a couple of tablespoons of Calpol will help. Make sure you get an adult to open the lid for you as those bastards are tricky. A Broken Heart needs fixing all alone, other women will not do this for you. I mean how could they, they are there for entertainment and not for self improvement. You will need to work on yourself and not use or rely on others to do this for you. You’re a HMHT for fucks sake, you’re capable of putting together even the trickiest of self assembly furniture. This means dealing with a Broken Heart is a walk in the park, late on a Friday night looking for a lady named Vixen. Heart Break will happen because as a HMHT, such as myself, you wear your heart on your sleeve. The first time will always be the hardest to deal with due to inexperience. The other times maybe harder, no pun intended, but easier to get through as you know where to go, no pun intended.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana
5 foot 4 inches and 154 lbs of PURE MAN
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Originally Posted by armin
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