What makes a guy look "tough"

[Dizaster]

It's funny that I hear people saying don't break eye contact.

Where I come from if you look at anyone long enough they will start a fight with you on the basis that your challenging them. Like animals do.

I had a fight with a guy over a woman (yeah I know)

I was 18 he was about 30. He took off his jacket and his watch and it made me think, shit this guy is too relaxed, what does he know that I don't?

Third punch he was out for 5 minutes, I even helped him up. He was a high class business man trained to look dominating and powerful. But he was a wimp at the end of the day.

Body language can be fake in every case

This is awesome... That was exactly what I was getting at...
I think body language is 99% of it.. At least in how we pick it up and send the message to the brain that THIS is a guy we should be wary of if anything goes down...

Even a weak guy can get his body language perfect.. He can tilt his head back, cross his arms, stare comfortably, etc etc, and people could perceive him as a tough guy... But deep down it is completely faked...

But then you take a guy who looks like he's been in jail. He's got his shirt off, tattoo's all over him, scars on his head,,, a real rough looking dude, but he's sitting on the edge of the gutter with his head hung down, sobbing like his favourite dog died... Socially all his physical attributes i.e. tattoo's, tell us this guy is a tough f'ker... But with him in this positition, would you actually perceive the threat of his tattoo's or rough looks?
You probably wouldn't feel any threat at all, even though you know deep down this guy could probably rip your head off...

But then their is the weak business guy on the train who hasn't even stolen a chocolate bar, let alone been in a fight,,,, and because he has his body language down and doesn't break eye contact with you,,,, you perceive the threat from him...


On that level, it's just like we are animals, still walking around without communication or advanced logic brains, but we can spot the guys out instantly who's demeanor is threatening or challenging to our masculinity in the tribe...

[RP33]

I'd say anyone over the age of 21 who is trying to start a fight, probably looks tough..

and i say that because everyone wants to fight when they're 15+ at school and stuff.. and when they drink.. but if you are actually gonna throw down and you look mature then you must have some level of confidence that you can hold your own..

[Kev]

This is awesome... That was exactly what I was getting at...
I think body language is 99% of it.. At least in how we pick it up and send the message to the brain that THIS is a guy we should be wary of if anything goes down...

Even a weak guy can get his body language perfect.. He can tilt his head back, cross his arms, stare comfortably, etc etc, and people could perceive him as a tough guy... But deep down it is completely faked...

But then you take a guy who looks like he's been in jail. He's got his shirt off, tattoo's all over him, scars on his head,,, a real rough looking dude, but he's sitting on the edge of the gutter with his head hung down, sobbing like his favourite dog died... Socially all his physical attributes i.e. tattoo's, tell us this guy is a tough f'ker... But with him in this positition, would you actually perceive the threat of his tattoo's or rough looks?
You probably wouldn't feel any threat at all, even though you know deep down this guy could probably rip your head off...

But then their is the weak business guy on the train who hasn't even stolen a chocolate bar, let alone been in a fight,,,, and because he has his body language down and doesn't break eye contact with you,,,, you perceive the threat from him...


On that level, it's just like we are animals, still walking around without communication or advanced logic brains, but we can spot the guys out instantly who's demeanor is threatening or challenging to our masculinity in the tribe...

Hey Dizaster, interesting thread buddy. When you say tough, do you mean intimidating, or merely confident?

And is the a look you're trying to learn?

Because personally I think tough is not a good look. It's far better to look confident, and relaxed imo, someone who looks like they are completely at ease in any situation.

To me if someobody looks 'tough' I imagine them looking brooding, menacing, intimidating which to me shows a lack of confidence as in order to be trying to appear tough they must percieve either a threat or are else responding to a person or a group of people by trying to puff themselves up, like a bull frog blowing out its chest.

It's not really confident but usually just a warning signal that tries to prevent something from eating it.

I think the best way to look is completely relaxed and uninhibited. If you are smiling and laughing with the people you are with and just looking completely disinterested to what is going on elsewhere you look completely at ease and relaxed, which is an attractive quality imo.

I was having this dicussion with my mate the other day. When he was sitting by himself he was just flipping barmats not paying any interest whatsoever to his surroundings.

I said I'd feel far too self conscious to do that but he said if someone is so comfortable that they can sit on their own flipping barmats and not caring who is watching them then they look they are completely at home in their surroundings and therefore appear confident.

Someone sitting or standing on their own trying to puff out their chest and give menacing eye contact just looks like a tool.

A truly confident look is one which doesn't look like you are trying to put on at all.

As mystery says on his Brain transplant DVD's there is a difference between confidence and boldness.

Someone who is bold, and who leaps out of a plane to much screaming and pumping actually looks less confident than someone who jumps out without any need to hype themselves up, they look like it's just a natural thing for them to do.

[Andre]

Hey Dizaster, interesting thread buddy. When you say tough, do you mean intimidating, or merely confident?

And is the a look you're trying to learn?

Because personally I think tough is not a good look. It's far better to look confident, and relaxed imo, someone who looks like they are completely at ease in any situation.

To me if someobody looks 'tough' I imagine them looking brooding, menacing, intimidating which to me shows a lack of confidence as in order to be trying to appear tough they must percieve either a threat or are else responding to a person or a group of people by trying to puff themselves up, like a bull frog blowing out its chest.

It's not really confident but usually just a warning signal that tries to prevent something from eating it.

I think the best way to look is completely relaxed and uninhibited. If you are smiling and laughing with the people you are with and just looking completely disinterested to what is going on elsewhere you look completely at ease and relaxed, which is an attractive quality imo.

I was having this dicussion with my mate the other day. When he was sitting by himself he was just flipping barmats not paying any interest whatsoever to his surroundings.

I said I'd feel far too self conscious to do that but he said if someone is so comfortable that they can sit on their own flipping barmats and not caring who is watching them then they look they are completely at home in their surroundings and therefore appear confident.

Someone sitting or standing on their own trying to puff out their chest and give menacing eye contact just looks like a tool.

A truly confident look is one which doesn't look like you are trying to put on at all.

As mystery says on his Brain transplant DVD's there is a difference between confidence and boldness.

Someone who is bold, and who leaps out of a plane to much screaming and pumping actually looks less confident than someone who jumps out without any need to hype themselves up, they look like it's just a natural thing for them to do.

Good points.

You know if you practice smiling when dizaster is imminent you slowly force your brain into a different mode where by blind panic doesnt occur but your relaxed enough and free enough to react fluidly and it stands out to observers.

Still is the master of unrest.