To Keep or Not to Keep?

[Kev]

Nah I don't think it's fair or considerate at all

Clarify Donny, you don't think its fair to keep the letters, or you dont think its fair to make someone give them up?

On the fence.

I don't find it fair that one should be forced to give up possessions which belong to them personally because they represent someone from their past. Would you force them to give up photos of the person with their parents if you didn't like their parents?

But I don't feel it's considerate to have those items which, represent past rel;ationships, blatantly in the view of someone whom they could upset.

Yeah I agree completely with you Donny. I certainly wouldn't be happy if my girlfriend insisted on hanging pictures of her and her ex boyfiends on the walls but if she wants to keep them all in a box under the stairs or in the loft that's no problem at all to me.

And if from time to she wanted to get them out and look through them again it wouldn't bother me, in fact I'd be happy to look through them with her is she wanted to talk me through.

BUT if she pulled them out every time we had an argument and was always spreaing them out on the kitchen table then we would have a problem!

Basically what I'm saying is that I wouldn't expect any girlfriend or even wife of mine to forget and disown her past, BUT I would want and expect her to have her life and interests focused in the present and with me.

I think that's a perfectly reasonable way to be.