Tanning bed something to be ashamed of?

[Sharla]

You were right to anticipate my response about why I train as not being for superficial reasons. In fact the health conscious attitude I try to have goes against using a sun bed or anything carcinogenic!

It also adds things to my life and challenges me in ways you refuse to experience by locking yourself inside with the curtains drawn 24 -7. Those things diminsh the importance of other random crap like my tan.

You however, as you so nicely reminded me, put a lot more emphasis on superficial things. I actually agree with what Legion says - people who are not shallow won't care about a tan so you shouldn't waste energy and expose yourself to the risks of getting one thinking that people will like you more when it's not going to work that way.

I'd never be compatible with a vain type of guy and i know this from experience. I did once break up with a very superficially attractive triathlete because all he could talk about was his modelling career and he carried a little mirror with him everywhere.

I guess it depends on who you want to attract a superficial person or a non-superficial person.

I once dated a smoker but I'd never date another one. He wasn't a smoker when I first got together with him but took up 'social smoking'. I didn't want to get on his case about it so I ignored it. Pretty soon he was a full blown smoker though and that did repulse me. I didn't dump him for that but my experience with it has meant I'd never go back there.

Plus I see it as a health thing. I CAN see myself as potentially being with the same person for my entire life. I'd never look to marry someone in a short space of time but monogamy doesn't scare me so anything which someone does to increase their chances of suffering a preventable disease bothers me. I can't watch someone I care about do that for no good reason.

[Kev]

You were right to anticipate my response about why I train as not being for superficial reasons. In fact the health conscious attitude I try to have goes against using a sun bed or anything carcinogenic!

It also adds things to my life and challenges me in ways you refuse to experience by locking yourself inside with the curtains drawn 24 -7. Those things diminsh the importance of other random crap like my tan.

You however, as you so nicely reminded me, put a lot more emphasis on superficial things. I actually agree with what Legion says - people who are not shallow won't care about a tan so you shouldn't waste energy and expose yourself to the risks of getting one thinking that people will like you more when it's not going to work that way.

I'd never be compatible with a vain type of guy and i know this from experience. I did once break up with a very superficially attractive triathlete because all he could talk about was his modelling career and he carried a little mirror with him everywhere.

I guess it depends on who you want to attract a superficial person or a non-superficial person.

I once dated a smoker but I'd never date another one. He wasn't a smoker when I first got together with him but took up 'social smoking'. I didn't want to get on his case about it so I ignored it. Pretty soon he was a full blown smoker though and that did repulse me. I didn't dump him for that but my experience with it has meant I'd never go back there.

Plus I see it as a health thing. I CAN see myself as potentially being with the same person for my entire life. I'd never look to marry someone in a short space of time but monogamy doesn't scare me so anything which someone does to increase their chances of suffering a preventable disease bothers me. I can't watch someone I care about do that for no good reason.

Lol I lOVE how you always imply that I'm the shallow one

Regarding tanning who is the one making judgements? It's you! I personally don't even think about whether someone uses a tanning bed or not but to YOU its a sign of vanity and so you make a superficial judgement that they are vain person

As for the guy who had a modelling career, you may have felt that was superficial (and in his case it may have been after all I don't know the guy) but for people whose career is based on their appearance it's NOT a vanity thing.

If a catwalk model or Hollywood performer works constantly on looking as beautiful as possible at all times it's not necessarily any more vain than an athlete who constantly wants to be as healthy as possibly. It's their careers after all.

Not being able to overlook minor faults in itself is a superficial thing Sharla!

I don't see what monogamy has to do with this but again I can sense the hidden implication being 'unlike you' but I would like to fall in love with a beautiful girl who matched my interests and values and who I felt a true spiritual connection with. If I met such a person, trust me I wouldn't ever want to let her go either.

I think you tend to attribute certain characteristics to people because you are highly judgemental but just because you think someone is such a way doesn't always make them so.

People can exhibit behaviours for any number of underlying reasons and to write someone off because they use sunbeds as being a superficial and fake person is in itself superficial and fake.

And quit it with your implications that you are a better person than me. I do indeed think you're an awesome girl and have a ton of great qualities, but your still a little way from perfection yourself.

Just remember that me and Dizaster don't come on to your blog or threads and start calling you names or telling you why we think you are a loser.

You are so full of sweeping judgements......

But as I'm not a superficial person I can look beyond that and still see your potential underneath

[Sharla]

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

[Kev]

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

I still don't see how you think I'm superficial. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that what I say on the boards is rarely to be taken seriously.

The fat women text thing was behaviour I was ashamed of. And I stopped it, you know that so you don't need to keep bringing it up. Beside's I think I demonstrate that I'm an open book and a million miles away from being fake or superficial in the fact that I talk about these things anyway.

You only even know about my flaws because I readily admit to them!

The girl with the boss eye.....that was just a flyaway comment on a hidden board thread.I wasn't comdemning her or being cruel, it was just a private lads chat on a boxing forum, it doesn't make me a bad person!

And for what it matters if she was everything I wanted in a girl then I wouldn't have been put off by a mere physical imperfection, but she was just a nightclub fuck nothing more. And before you lecture me on my lack of morality, she asked to come home with me and was just wanting sex as well. She was Danish, only working in the UK for the summer and barely spoke proper English. She could have been the most beautiful girl physically in the world and she still wouldn't have been more than a casual fling.

As for guys always going on about a girls looks, that may be true but I personally don't judge a girl's worth merely by how pretty she is. I do have to find a girl physically attractive in order to be attractive to them (and so do girls) but beyond that I look for other qualities as well.

A pretty girl, who is intelligent, health conscious, has good values, shares my interests and is warm and friendly is far more appealing to me than an absolutely stunning looking girl who has nothing in common with me, isn't a warm and caring person or who is self centered and shallow.

As for the male being superior to the female comments on Dizasters pick up blog......well if you can't see that that was tongue in cheek and a gentle rib taking aimed at riling you up then I guess I'll have to knock 'intelligence' off your list of qualities

[Dizaster]

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

I still don't see how you think I'm superficial. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that what I say on the boards is rarely to be taken seriously.

The fat women text thing was behaviour I was ashamed of. And I stopped it, you know that so you don't need to keep bringing it up. Beside's I think I demonstrate that I'm an open book and a million miles away from being fake or superficial in the fact that I talk about these things anyway.

You only even know about my flaws because I readily admit to them!

The girl with the boss eye.....that was just a flyaway comment on a hidden board thread.I wasn't comdemning her or being cruel, it was just a private lads chat on a boxing forum, it doesn't make me a bad person!

And for what it matters if she was everything I wanted in a girl then I wouldn't have been put off by a mere physical imperfection, but she was just a nightclub fuck nothing more. And before you lecture me on my lack of morality, she asked to come home with me and was just wanting sex as well. She was Danish, only working in the UK for the summer and barely spoke proper English. She could have been the most beautiful girl physically in the world and she still wouldn't have been more than a casual fling.

As for guys always going on about a girls looks, that may be true but I personally don't judge a girl's worth merely by how pretty she is. I do have to find a girl physically attractive in order to be attractive to them (and so do girls) but beyond that I look for other qualities as well.

A pretty girl, who is intelligent, health conscious, has good values, shares my interests and is warm and friendly is far more appealing to me than an absolutely stunning looking girl who has nothing in common with me, isn't a warm and caring person or who is self centered and shallow.

As for the male being superior to the female comments on Dizasters pick up blog......well if you can't see that that was tongue in cheek and a gentle rib taking aimed at riling you up then I guess I'll have to knock 'intelligence' off your list of qualities

I'll probably have a spare room in my new house if you guys would like it

[Kev]

You can look underneath as long as she doesn't have a barely noticable lazy eye or big feet and if she's fat you'll just use her to indulge your fantasies about being disrespectful to women!

Gee I wonder where I got the idea that you were superficial.

He wasn't a career model he was doing a PhD in maths and computer science - he just wanted to talk about how beautiful he was all the time which was BORING. it's not just an appearance thing - it's mantal energy invested in something pretty dull too!

I don't try to say I'm superior based on gender alone than 50 % of the world's population so I don't leave myself open for insults the way you do.

Me looking for someone i'm compatible with is just as valid as you looking for desirable traits in a woman.

I can honestly say that I'd prefer someone with a healthy lifestyle who is reasonably relaxed about appearances (not unlike myself) and most women I know are the same.

If you're not going to screw every person you meet you have to make some judgements about whether or not you'll be compatible with someone when you meet them.

Guys often go on and on about a woman's looks so why is that so much better than a woman actually preferring a guy who can relax a little who will look after himself.

I think it promotes a healthier person actually. Women today feel the need to get boob jobs etc to impress men because ideals you wouldn't criticise a man for having make them feel like they need to just to be attractive.

I still don't see how you think I'm superficial. Surely you know me well enough by now to know that what I say on the boards is rarely to be taken seriously.

The fat women text thing was behaviour I was ashamed of. And I stopped it, you know that so you don't need to keep bringing it up. Beside's I think I demonstrate that I'm an open book and a million miles away from being fake or superficial in the fact that I talk about these things anyway.

You only even know about my flaws because I readily admit to them!

The girl with the boss eye.....that was just a flyaway comment on a hidden board thread.I wasn't comdemning her or being cruel, it was just a private lads chat on a boxing forum, it doesn't make me a bad person!

And for what it matters if she was everything I wanted in a girl then I wouldn't have been put off by a mere physical imperfection, but she was just a nightclub fuck nothing more. And before you lecture me on my lack of morality, she asked to come home with me and was just wanting sex as well. She was Danish, only working in the UK for the summer and barely spoke proper English. She could have been the most beautiful girl physically in the world and she still wouldn't have been more than a casual fling.

As for guys always going on about a girls looks, that may be true but I personally don't judge a girl's worth merely by how pretty she is. I do have to find a girl physically attractive in order to be attractive to them (and so do girls) but beyond that I look for other qualities as well.

A pretty girl, who is intelligent, health conscious, has good values, shares my interests and is warm and friendly is far more appealing to me than an absolutely stunning looking girl who has nothing in common with me, isn't a warm and caring person or who is self centered and shallow.

As for the male being superior to the female comments on Dizasters pick up blog......well if you can't see that that was tongue in cheek and a gentle rib taking aimed at riling you up then I guess I'll have to knock 'intelligence' off your list of qualities

I'll probably have a spare room in my new house if you guys would like it

haha I'd love to take you up on that offer but I fear if I ever did get lucky enough to spend time alone with Sharla she would probably just be there to beat me up

[Jimanuel Boogustus]

As a man of mixed race i was kinda ignorant to the idea that i could burn.

Well, I definately burn guys. Badly.

So ive taken to the idea of using the sun bed a bit before a holiday. Just to make sure i cook properly