Sharla's Log

[Scrap]

Sharla, one way of doing what I think youre doing is use the bed

[Sharla]

Sharla, one way of doing what I think youre doing is use the bed

Yeah i agree thanks Scrap.

I don't think i have the right type available to me at the moment. I think i'll buy one maybe after Christmas when i have a bit more spare cash.

I was hoping that this would be similar to the bed but also work on my imbalances a little more.

I know your complete patented version is very good at this because it has more range of motion than the bed and whoever uses it can see how they might need to work harder to get their weaker side working the same way as their stronger side. I know it really hurt when i used it for less than 5 minutes which was shocking!

I'm not sure i know how to stop myself cheating when i use the bed version and while i don't think it would aggrivate my imbalances and it is still shock free i was hoping the balls would force me to begin to correct them?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts on that Scrap!

So other things to report - quite a few!

Sunday

2 hr walk. Didn't feel like the impact of a run was good and wanted to get outside so a 2 hr walk was nice - might aim to do tha every couple of weeks over an extended time. I have some parkland areas along a little stream called the Torrens which travels over 12 km at least in each direction towards and away from my house so i'm lucky that way. For longer fortnightly walks i'm tempted to go to national reserves not far from Adelaide though - as long as i can avoid walking alone in snake and bushfire weather which will be frequent in the Australian summer!

Monday

10 min walk, 30 min jog -run. It became more of an effort towards the end with a few inclines and i did feel like i got a workout here.

Tuesday

off - i had good intentions but left it to the evening and didn't get home from uni until after 11 pm. Must make a rule to do a session in the mornings without fail.

Wednesday

Today I walked for nearly 50 minutes along the Torrens before running back. I intended to walk an hour but came across an area where i could hear a guy going solo loudly. It creeped me out because i could hear him somewhere in the bushes but i couldn't see him. It's not uncommon for women to get attacked in the parklands so i decided to turn around at that point.

I like to think i could be more able to handle myself than most women enough to be inconvenient and noisy and escape. I wouldn't hesitate to eye gouge or elbow eye sockets but i know i have friends who probably would not be able to bring themselves to seriously maim a person in self defence. I think they would panic and try to push and struggle abut not even think of more vicious options for defending themselves. I like to think i wouldn't be like that especially as an adult but i'll avoid the situation and run away first if that's an option and that's what i did.

I wasn't attacked but it's well known that many streakers and perverts will have esculating behaviour so why continue on a path that might bring me within arms reach of someone like that - i would be silly to take the risk!

Ran back 10 minutes and then did intervals. 8 one minute hard running efforts with 1 minute recovery walk except after the 7th interval i had a 2 minute recovery. I could see in the heart rate zones that i was not fully recovering after each interval.

Ages ago just after i hurt my knee i went to a body composition dude to get my body fat and muscle composition analysed and to get diet and training advice etc. I was put on an exercise bike with a heart rate monitor etc to measure aspects of my fitness. The basic result was that my endurance and lung capacity etc at that time was way above the average for a male. In endurance terms i was a very strong athlete but my recovery for short efforts was not really that great.

I think this has something to do with ego. I have resented admitting that my heart rate has not returned to a low enough level to train sprint recovery before doing the next interval.

So today when i could see after my 1 minute recover after the 7th hard interval my heart rate was still high i bit the bullet and decided to accept my recovery takes longer than that for that effort. of course over time it will improve and i'll recover hopefully in less than 30 seconds for that effort but it won't happen if i don't walk and allow the recovery. I'll be training endurance like i always have.

[Sharla]

On another lifestyle note I'm going to ad some mroe person info into this log entry. I was not going to go into it but decided it was silly since everyone has been in this situation and the stigma towards it is part of the problem. Especially i believe with young Australian men. They don't admit to having trouble with depression to the point where we have the highest youth suicide rate in the world. The attitude is to tough it out before you talk to anyone.

I got a lot out of an interpersonal skills workshop that was put on at my uni by a psychologist. She talked about dealing with conflict in te workplace which i've had more than my fill of with my supervisor since starting my PhD. I decided to follow up with a one on one session i could get for free through my mum's work agreement.

Basically i guess i've always thought of depression as being a really severe debilitating thing. I'm finding now some days i don't want to face the world. i do get out of bed but i press the snooze buttong more times than i should and little chores seem overwhelming. Thing is my mental outlook is not different except it could be a little negative and i have to give myself more pep talks to achieve what used to feel easier.

The psychologist did end up validating my feeling that i really need to exercise and i can't just drop it because it is part of my coping strategy to deal with the long days at uni and being relatively powerless with an irrational supervisor. To perform at my best nd take action i need to take rather than just aving a victim mentality and wanting to hide i need to exercise. I need the seratonin.

I need to do it outside sometimes also i think. I have read that air outside tends to have more negatively charged components which are better substrates for seratonin so that partially explins it. I think being around trees and hearing the birdlife and enjoying the nice weather we have now is pretty good.


I am the type of person who enjoys simple things in life so i'm not going to feel guilty about time taken to do that now. My brother would and he did sit at a desk without exercising so much that he sneezed one day and got a bulged disc so bad that he came very close to being wheelchair bound. it was really excruciating for him to begin with. He had to have painkillers shoved up his arse and could not even push a vacuum cleaner safely for months. Luckily it went down and he can now do gentle exercise again like walking but he came awfully close to being unable to control his own bowel movements at only 32. I believe that is all due to the risk of spending long hours at a desk with no exercise and under stress - tensing muscles up which put pressure on the back so all it took was a little catalyst like a sneeze to blow it. It's not a risk I'm prepared to take!

As for depression - i think it is too strong a word for me but perhaps a clinical risk for me. It is associated with long term stress and i have been in this crappy PhD situation for 3.5 years and if it was only a job i would have quit and found something else a loooooong time ago! Apparently it's just a chemical imbalance as people get worn down over time.

Normal depression has you feeling sad for a while and then the feelings begin to change. One example she gave was of her friend's mother who has been mourning her husbands death with the same grief and intensity of sadness for 14 years. Apparently this is very un-natural.

I think of it as homeostasis. All biological systems have a level of homeostasis whether it be the approximate number of animals in populations for the health of an ecosystem, your blood sugar level, CO2 levels in the atmosphere etc etc. Levels which are healthy.

Some variation is buffered by the system but if an imbalance is too prolonged or of too great a magnitude it will stop the system for being able to maintain that homeostasis. The system may find a new homeostasis - probably at a less than ideal level or be unstable and start to decline (extinction, diabetes or global warming).

I feel like i am struggling to stop myself for finding a new level of homeostasis as a less active and lass productive, happy person. I don't feel at risk of collapsing or having a nervous breakdown but i don't want to loose the ability to function at my best just because i'm worn down and little things seem harder than they should.

I know these chemicals are in your brain but i don't even really think of it as a mental thing because i don't believe i have an delusions. I think it is just a kind of fatigue.

It reminds me of something I have seen Lord's Gym / Ring Rat write a few times. He said to take feeling sluggish and low of energy over a period of time as a signal you need to step it up. He may be right - it could be you need seratonin from exercise to pep yourself up and correct the chemical imbalance before your level of homeostasis goes down a notch and you have to put more effort into becoming really naturally energetic again.

So i'm taking that on board. I'm also paying special attention to maintaining a good diet and avoiding too much caffiene. i don't drink (alcohol is a depressant in used too much) or take drugs or smoke so luckily i do not have many addictive crutches or comfort things which help in the short term but aggivate the problem overall.

She has also said i should go to my GP to talk about anti-depressants. I have a friend who took a form which just targeted a specific receptor and was very mild. She didn't feel any change for weeks because it was so mild and unlike some of the old school chemicals like Prosac it was not addictive and din't create false emotions - i guess it just helped keep things from declining. It was something she only had to take temporarily as part of a larger plan to stop herself from falling into depression which might make it difficult for her to work and function properly. It was a temporary measure for her and ow she doesn't have depression ro the need to take anti-depressant.

I wouldn't really see that as being too different to taking something like a vitamin pill like iron when i'm deficient. I'd stay away from something like Prosac at all costs but i'm not opposed to something mild which won't have a big effect.

I don't need sympathy - i don't think i'm really depressed int he common sense of the word but i think it's human to feel emotionally run down sometimes and need a well rounded plan to stop it becoming a long term thing.

I think ultimately this is part of the reason i'll always try to be active. I think training somewhere in a bad environment without feeling like you achieve your goals might add to stress but i think people are meant to be active. We are not built to be sloths.

Plus i can even see a reason why depression might have evolved as part of the human condition. Imagine a drought. If you were part of a hunter gatherer society you'd first put a little more effort into hunting and gathering. If that was rewarded with food you wouldn't become depressed but if it wasn't you might consider miggrating.

If you did that but found the drought was widespread and there was no more food in your new location you may have been under stress for a while. You would be skinny and probably a few people in your community would have died.

At this point you've tried everything but mother nature says no food for you! It does not serve your survival to burn up a lot of energy. If you were too active trying to a resolve the situation you would just starve at a faster rate. You need to be lazy and conserve energy to ride things out.

Even if a few people were depressed enough to jump off a cliff that would be bad but it would increase survival chances of others living on the little there is available. When it rains again you'd be so happy that would break your depression.

So rather than being ashamed of depression i'd consider it as a natural chemical thing everyone can experience to varying degress and how you face it as soon as you seen the early signs will determine whether or not it becomes severe. I don't have anything severe at all but if i ignored my flagging sense of vitality i think i would be more likely to decline so i'm facing it as honestly as possible.

I think shame around these subjects and the idea people should just be able to tough things out aggrivates the situation when what people sould be saying is - get some exercise, eat good food and watch a funny movie and take action rather than ignoring any feeling of flagging drive and weariness which might lead to a decline.

[Youngblood]

I got these lovely flowers for you.

They promise nothing, but offer only a hope to maybe make you smile a bit for when you are feeling low.

(p.s. they are guaranteed not to wilt)

[Sharla]

I got these lovely flowers for you.

They promise nothing, but offer only a hope to maybe make you smile a bit for when you are feeling low.

(p.s. they are guaranteed not to wilt)

Aw shucks thanks Youngblood!

These new non wilting flowers are fantastic!

I'm fine really - just mindful that i would cease to be fine if i let things get on top of me and ignored the fact that i can get a bit run down.

Plus I'm pretty chuffed I now have been told officially that i NEED to exercise for my sanity and it's not a luxury only to be fitted into small windows of time when I'm not chained to the lab bench!

My supervisor can take that and shove it up his a***!

Having said that it didn't quite work out that way yesterday. I'm meant to be part time at uni now but i didn't get home until 11 pm last night and 2am the night before and i haven't had much time for job hunting this week. I've only applied for one job so far this week but had heaps listed so i have to get a hold of this now 'part time' study!

Didn't manage to get any exercise in yesterday but i was walking around a lot at uni and i'll definately try to get a swim in today. My flatmate had a heap of swim passes paid for which she has transferred into my name since she's moving so that is really nice of her!

My flatmate is here this week to get all her stuff moved by truck and her car moved back to her parents by train. I'm gonna miss her because it was really quiet here without her!

Literally half an hour after the truck has taken all her stuff her ex partner called and said he think he made the wrong decision and he wants her to stay. He wins the TWAT of the year award in my book!

I have a new flatmate lined up now which takes some financial pressure off my shoulders too. I won't be stuck paying full rent for the apartment alone!

[Sharla]

I did manage the swim

One hour, moderate intensity. Worked on freestyle catch up for 25 m up the pool and backstroke back wearing fins. Freestyle catch up is something my soon to be ex flatmate Sarah showed me (she used to be a competitive swimmer).

Basically freestyle catch up is a drill that involves touching your hand with the other one when it is in front of you before you stroke. It helps create a better line in the water as a drill because you don't have so much water resistance in front of you. I find it harder work than normal freestyle and it requires a little concentration for me right now so the backstroke was good to break it up.

I also used the backstroke return to keep my chest stretch open. Then i did some kick on my back holding the board to my stomach. I think this balanced all the kick on my front from the freestyle which feels like it tightens things a little.

Then also did a few hundreds of breastroke and a few hundreds of freestyle without fins and repeated the whole lot again so i essentially did two sets of all this.

Felt a bit nautious - made the mistake of eating something with cheese on it too close to before the swim. I have cheese since my flatmate leaves in 2 days and needs to get rid of her stuff out of the fridge before it goes off. I can usually eat before a workout without any problems but i think I'm not used to all the extra fat in cheese. I won't say i didn't like it and I can't rationalize it since i'm female and therefore have a really high dietry calcium requirement though!

[Sharla]

Saturday 2 hr walk and a stretch

Sunday i didn't manage anything - i had paid cleaning work at someone else's house for 4 hours plus my own afterwards. Then had to be at mum's for a BBQ afterwards.

Again I should have done it in the morning but my flatmate was flying out back to her parents interstate and i'm unlikely to see her again for a long time so i felt it was important to farewell her. Was also awake fairly late Saturday night hanging out with her.

I have to confess i have let my sleeping pattern slip a bit lately. All it takes is one or two late nights in a week to upset my sleepnig pattern. I can usually reset it easily enough but i hate the disruption to my routine in the first place.

Anyway on a positive not i'm trying out some new ideas from a strething book i ordered for my birthday. It has some stuff in it about treating fibroid tissue etc which might prove useful but i'm still nutting out what to do with it.

I've decided i was onto a good thing when i was stretching first thing in the mornings. I think the way i like to sleep curled up in a ball is half my problem. I misinterpreted what Scrap suggested about stretching after contraction - i should have recognized my sleeping style as being a source of contraction.

I slept last night on my back which was better than my side and felt a little better upon waking up.

So I plan to stretch when i wake up, then exercise and stretch again - 2 stretching sessions per day minimum so they will have to be individually shorter.

I've known for a while that i need structure in what i do but i'm just in the process of working out a new timetable.

I think a major mistake I've always made in the past is dropping a timetable immediately as soon as it doesn't work and then having this slack useless time while i nut out another one.

Ultimately even an imperfect timetable is better than none!

I think that's what i dislike about my PhD too - it's just chaotic and with equipment issues and plant growth stages etc it's not something I can pick up and put down whenever.

I'm still working out how to manage my uni work and job hunting but i'm going back to 4:30 am mornings because i think I feel like i've achieved something just by getting up at the time and finishing some exercise before i tackle the rest of my day. That in turn makes me feel more productive and motivated with everything else too.

So this is my initial program for the mornings and I'd LOVE any input I can get. It is still being developed obviously and more specifics will be added as I go.

Mon

• Wake Up Stretch
• Running sprints - 200 to 800 m intervals with walk or complete rest recovery
• Banana and strength training
• Post Exercise Stretch then cold shower

Tues

• Wake Up Stretch
• 1 hr moderate intensity cardio
• Post Exercise Stretch

Weds

• Wake Up Stretch
• Swim sprints
• Post Exercise Stretch then cold shower

Thurs

• Wake Up Stretch
• Monaghetti fartleck
• Banana and strength training
• Post Exercise Stretch

Fri

• Wake Up Stretch
• Long Swim
• Post Exercise Stretch

Sat

• Wake Up Stretch
• Strength training and boxing technique
• Post Exercise Stretch

Sun

• Long stretching session

You'll notice i've put in cold showers on days after i do sprint training. That is because i have read recently that people recover better from sprint training when they have cold showers a lot more than hot ones. This might be for a couple of reasons I could think of.

Perhaps it stops inflammation of tired muscles, perhaps it causes blood vessels to vasoconstrict and channels nutrients etc to the areas most used so they are more concentrated there?

I don't know I'm just hypothesizing but my point is i think it could be worth giving it a go even though I HATE being cold and I LOVE a good hot shower - and when i mean hot i mean almost scalding!

I think I'll keep the wobble board in all strength training where possible even though it means i am not able to do much - i figure the harder it is the more it will benefit me in the long run.

I think of it as being like doing good pushups versus those little chin dipping things people do when they think they're doing a set of 100 but haven't managed one yet!

As for the anti-depressants the psychologist recommended I haven't had an appointment with my GP to discuss it yet.

Another friend who is also a PhD student started on them two weeks ago. She hasn't noticed any change yet except a little nausia which is predicted to go away after a while. From that i wouldn't think they are addictive or too extreme in any way.

She used to be a state funded kiacker and has an amazing sense of humour. She's the first one to make everyone else laugh and cheer everyone else up but I think she's really worn down. Her supervisor is especially loud and domineering and i guess it has just gotten to her over time. I think she has it worse than me though.

I think i'm happy when i exercise and i'm not 100 % sure I need to be on anything. I'm going to research more supplements etc like vitamin Bs which are associated with stress.

I am on vitamin B2 supplements because i was getting a lot of mouth ulcers associated with being run down by stress. My mum took me to a pharmacist one and she recommended vitamin B2. Now as long as I take them I don't get any ulcers. The second I forget though they come back which tells me i'm likely to be prone to those kinds of deficiencies.

Plus although it's not related there must be something in my blood which is different to that of most of my family. I attract mosquitoes - the other night at my mum's BBQ i got bitten no less than 14 times on a little bare patch of skin on my foot. My sister got bitten once (she was sitting next to me) and everyone else not at all! Little discriminatory targeting AHOLES!