sourpuss's training log

[sourpuss]

Ok, so here's a question for you competitors.
A: how often do your bouts fall through? and...
B: how do you stay focused when it seems to happen ALL THE FREAKING TIME!?

My opponent for Saturday canceled tonight. I don't know if the reason she gave was true or if they just didn't feel like driving for only one bout. But either way, nothing I can do about it. She was the only one who would agree (after MUCH begging, offering to pay hotel and trying to find bouts for other guys from her club) Everyone else either wouldn't return my coach's calls or flat out said no. So this was my only option.

Anyway, in four years my parents have only seen me fight four times and they haven't seen a match of mine since March of 2006. They were going to be able to attend because it was within driving distance and they were planning on bringing friends of theirs as well. I've only had a couple of friends ever come to my fights and I've never had a bout in the town I live in. All of my fights are in my opponents home town. (that gets old, once in a while I'd like for the crowd to cheer for me, especially if my mom and dad can be in the crowd)

So how often does this happen to you? And how do I stay focused and not just throw my hands up and say f*ck it?

[Youngblood]

Sorry to hear, sourpuss. It sucks so bad and I know you are frustrated.


I went through a bad patch of it, cancellations or no shows, so I know the feeling...and then ran into a good patch just recently but even then it wasn't smooth, and even in a big tour. But ultimately I think it is what you told me some time ago, is that tours are the safest bet. And even then it is risk of sorts at times.

It's nerve wracking fighting in front of your own town or city. I was a mess, much worse then fighting away. But also, yes...it is nice to have your friends and family there and people cheering hard for you for a change.

I suppose you just need to vent, for you know the answers to your questions.

[Sharla]

Ok, so here's a question for you competitors.
A: how often do your bouts fall through? and...
B: how do you stay focused when it seems to happen ALL THE FREAKING TIME!?

My opponent for Saturday canceled tonight. I don't know if the reason she gave was true or if they just didn't feel like driving for only one bout. But either way, nothing I can do about it. She was the only one who would agree (after MUCH begging, offering to pay hotel and trying to find bouts for other guys from her club) Everyone else either wouldn't return my coach's calls or flat out said no. So this was my only option.

Anyway, in four years my parents have only seen me fight four times and they haven't seen a match of mine since March of 2006. They were going to be able to attend because it was within driving distance and they were planning on bringing friends of theirs as well. I've only had a couple of friends ever come to my fights and I've never had a bout in the town I live in. All of my fights are in my opponents home town. (that gets old, once in a while I'd like for the crowd to cheer for me, especially if my mom and dad can be in the crowd)

So how often does this happen to you? And how do I stay focused and not just throw my hands up and say f*ck it?

Yeah it sucks. It was always the same for me too and it can get really expensive travelling a lot for amatuer competition. That's not so bad when you feel like the preparation is structured and your opponent weighs in at the correct weight etc.

I think you'd know that's not the way it often goes though. You get there after having crap sparring and not a really structured preparation, deal with whatever the home town side want to serve up because you've invested too much to pull out when an opponent weighs more or you are ripped, you empty your pockets on the travelling and training expenses and come home again.

If you're lucky you'll get a vid of the bout but often people will be too disorganized to arrange that when they say they will. Maybe you can show that to your folks but it's not the same as having their support at the time and maybe being on the home town side once in a while!

Yes it sucks. It has bothered me a lot.

Still I think I miss the training and I am starting again as soon as I have my new flatmate moved in and work undercontrol.

I think for me it was so rare in the end that i did get a bout or even that it looked like my coach was in the mood to accept one (because I can't say he ever looked but just accepted offers) I grew to depend mostly on getting satisfaction from seeing improvement in training.

That in itself can be difficult when your sparring isn't great or the coaching logical or conflicting commitments limit you but i guess those things are usually phases and one way or another they will pass.

Things will get better again. Maybe because you start using more resources outside of your boxing club - maybe by driving yourself to interclub sparring as a non negotiable thing your coach has to accept.

Maybe by getting more into your running and other little comps and training challenges you can use as indicators of your boxing fitness so you always feel like you are achieving something?

I personally have found Scrap's riddles and just trying to get my own head around training principles motivating even when I haven't been in the right physical shape to perform at my best.

Even when injured I enjoyed the pool and the swimming club. It's not the same but I think many of us get into this because we are happiest being active people regardless of competitive results and tribulations.

[Youngblood]

I realized something, sourpuss. When you said my one of my trainers was hot...I think it is because he has a bit of that Roberto Duran thing going on.

So, in an effort to cheer you up, I am ditching the flowers and going with this instead.

[sourpuss]

Youngblood, you rock!

[sourpuss]

Since my fight fell through I decided to get a good cardio workout in this morning.

10 mins warm up on treadmill
15 abs class
45 minutes spinning class
45 minutes yoga class
10 minute jog on the threadmill

felt good. Now I can relax. I think I'll spend the afternoon watching Duran fights.

[sourpuss]

BAH! I'm having a boxing meltdown!

So on Sunday I pretty much decided that I am done boxing. I told my coach that I would not be available for our next show (jan 17th) and booked a trip to go visit a friend. Then I proceeded to go eat a ton of nachos to celebrate. yum I was bummed all day and that evening but I had pretty much made up my mind that I'm done.

I described it to a friend today. Me and boxing...it's like a bad relationship. I give it 110% everyday and I REALLY want it to work, but it's just not. And I got to the point yesterday where I had come to terms with letting it go. I'm one of those people that is all or nothing. When I wanted to play drums I didn't just get a set and tinker with it. I went out, got a set, learned how and was in a band within a year. So boxing is the same....only X10. I've never loved doing something so much before. I liked drums, I liked swim team, I liked college....but I LOVE boxing. So when I'm giving so much and setting my goals so high, it's extremely frustrating when I can't get there because of the lack of resources available.

So I decided that once again it was all or nothing.

So from the moment I made the decision and decided that I was OK with it. Every person I ran into...."Hey, how was your last fight?" "Hey, this is my friend Amy, she's a boxer..." "When's your next bout, how's boxing going?" I kid you not, at least 10 people brought it up!

Then my coach comes in to my work this morning and asks if I want to fight on the 3rd of January. WTF?! Erg. So now I have to reevaluate my decision or straight up say no. I hadn't said anything to my coach yet. (I was going to be a pussy and just not show up to training again) I didn't say anything because I know he'd try to talk me out of it. (or act like it didn't bother him, just to get at me)

I don't know what to do. I know I'm not going to be happy only getting a few bouts a year and letting it peeter out. But I'm not a quitter. So I'm stuck in a pickle. I'm sacrificing a lot to do this, I want to be able to get out of it what I put in. Otherwise it's a waste of time for me.

I'm not sure what to do.



This post was really long and obnoxious. Kudos to anyone who actually read the whole thing.

[Sharla]

Sometimes i think you're actually just regurgitating my experiences!

Really i think part of ay situation is setting boundaries. I have had a terrible history of being able to do this and only now am I beginning to think about it.

At uni i did not set boundaries for what I would and would not accept and as a consequence a pattern i find hard to cope with developed basically with my supervisor treating my like child slave labour from a 3rd world country rather than an adult seeking a quality postgraduate education.

I wish i'd set boundaries from the beginning and if he didn't like them it would have been obvious soon enough for me to drop him as supervisor and get someone with a brain instead.

The same goes for training i think.

I didn't set boundaries. i just gratefully took what i could get and after a while people tend to expect that it's ok.

Your coach thinks it's ok to send you into compete without proper preparation and it has been on several occasions i guess.

You've gone in and survived and probably felt a little discontent but just expected him to get his act together in his own time, you didn't want to be assertive about it.

Thing is now you know you don't want to compete in january. You don't have to re-evaluate anything, just stick to what you've decided.

Ultimately most coaches have been fighters and they know what they needed as far as sparring etc goes.

It's not your role to have to tell them how to coach especially since you have hinted at needing sparring. I doubt most coaches would like to be told either.

Perhaps it would be more mature to tell them everything that's been on your mind but would they not have to be a bit blind with their own competitive experiences to not know anyway?

I spoke to a psychologist about my supervisor. Her take on it was that people generally have three choices in these situations. Live with it, change it or leave it.

Do you think from your position you can change it? Are you going to be happy living with it? I'm guessing the answer to both of those is probably no. In which case leaving it is ok.

Perhaps you may decide not to leave permanently. In many ways you might find that you can draw on what you have gained in future in another club or another sport. I don't think you need to see it as wasted time.

I'd say no to the bout and give yourself the Christmas season to decide what path you wanna take.

I think like you i'm happiest being competitive but only if i can do it well. I feel crap not doing something well or as much as I can - just as you do.

I hate not sticking to training programs, i hate doing substandard experiments because my supervisor is threatened by me coming up with my own ideas.

I find it difficult to describe but I guess most people would have to feel some pride in what they do and i think if you are not able to do things the best way for no good reason it's a direct self insult in some way.

Um gotta go but while i really feel like i've just blabbed a lot rather than adding anything of any real help I get where your coming from.

I guess my own advice would be to be assertive, set some rules and boundaries and don't be taken for granted - in whatever you choose to do.