BAH! I'm having a boxing meltdown!

So on Sunday I pretty much decided that I am done boxing. I told my coach that I would not be available for our next show (jan 17th) and booked a trip to go visit a friend. Then I proceeded to go eat a ton of nachos to celebrate. yum I was bummed all day and that evening but I had pretty much made up my mind that I'm done.

I described it to a friend today. Me and boxing...it's like a bad relationship. I give it 110% everyday and I REALLY want it to work, but it's just not. And I got to the point yesterday where I had come to terms with letting it go. I'm one of those people that is all or nothing. When I wanted to play drums I didn't just get a set and tinker with it. I went out, got a set, learned how and was in a band within a year. So boxing is the same....only X10. I've never loved doing something so much before. I liked drums, I liked swim team, I liked college....but I LOVE boxing. So when I'm giving so much and setting my goals so high, it's extremely frustrating when I can't get there because of the lack of resources available.

So I decided that once again it was all or nothing.

So from the moment I made the decision and decided that I was OK with it. Every person I ran into...."Hey, how was your last fight?" "Hey, this is my friend Amy, she's a boxer..." "When's your next bout, how's boxing going?" I kid you not, at least 10 people brought it up!

Then my coach comes in to my work this morning and asks if I want to fight on the 3rd of January. WTF?! Erg. So now I have to reevaluate my decision or straight up say no. I hadn't said anything to my coach yet. (I was going to be a pussy and just not show up to training again) I didn't say anything because I know he'd try to talk me out of it. (or act like it didn't bother him, just to get at me)

I don't know what to do. I know I'm not going to be happy only getting a few bouts a year and letting it peeter out. But I'm not a quitter. So I'm stuck in a pickle. I'm sacrificing a lot to do this, I want to be able to get out of it what I put in. Otherwise it's a waste of time for me.

I'm not sure what to do.



This post was really long and obnoxious. Kudos to anyone who actually read the whole thing.