sourpuss's training log

[Sharla]

Sometimes i think you're actually just regurgitating my experiences!

Really i think part of ay situation is setting boundaries. I have had a terrible history of being able to do this and only now am I beginning to think about it.

At uni i did not set boundaries for what I would and would not accept and as a consequence a pattern i find hard to cope with developed basically with my supervisor treating my like child slave labour from a 3rd world country rather than an adult seeking a quality postgraduate education.

I wish i'd set boundaries from the beginning and if he didn't like them it would have been obvious soon enough for me to drop him as supervisor and get someone with a brain instead.

The same goes for training i think.

I didn't set boundaries. i just gratefully took what i could get and after a while people tend to expect that it's ok.

Your coach thinks it's ok to send you into compete without proper preparation and it has been on several occasions i guess.

You've gone in and survived and probably felt a little discontent but just expected him to get his act together in his own time, you didn't want to be assertive about it.

Thing is now you know you don't want to compete in january. You don't have to re-evaluate anything, just stick to what you've decided.

Ultimately most coaches have been fighters and they know what they needed as far as sparring etc goes.

It's not your role to have to tell them how to coach especially since you have hinted at needing sparring. I doubt most coaches would like to be told either.

Perhaps it would be more mature to tell them everything that's been on your mind but would they not have to be a bit blind with their own competitive experiences to not know anyway?

I spoke to a psychologist about my supervisor. Her take on it was that people generally have three choices in these situations. Live with it, change it or leave it.

Do you think from your position you can change it? Are you going to be happy living with it? I'm guessing the answer to both of those is probably no. In which case leaving it is ok.

Perhaps you may decide not to leave permanently. In many ways you might find that you can draw on what you have gained in future in another club or another sport. I don't think you need to see it as wasted time.

I'd say no to the bout and give yourself the Christmas season to decide what path you wanna take.

I think like you i'm happiest being competitive but only if i can do it well. I feel crap not doing something well or as much as I can - just as you do.

I hate not sticking to training programs, i hate doing substandard experiments because my supervisor is threatened by me coming up with my own ideas.

I find it difficult to describe but I guess most people would have to feel some pride in what they do and i think if you are not able to do things the best way for no good reason it's a direct self insult in some way.

Um gotta go but while i really feel like i've just blabbed a lot rather than adding anything of any real help I get where your coming from.

I guess my own advice would be to be assertive, set some rules and boundaries and don't be taken for granted - in whatever you choose to do.

[Youngblood]

If you're not a quitter, and you truly do love it..then why quit? Look at it like a relationship that just went through a bad year. Relationship being your analogy for it. From what I hear, they often take some work and compromise. Now your partner here, boxing...hasn't really been living up to it's end of the deal, and not meeting your boxing needs, correct? But has it not also given you much?

I could be wrong, but I think you are making this post because you might be experiencing a knee jerk reaction and fearing you're going to regret it. If you still feel there is a chance, and as you say, do love it...then maybe try setting some guidelines and a target date. Like this...

"Hey boxing, this is the deal. Not happy with the way things are, but I care about you and want them better. So if you want to stick around, you have 1 year to get your shit together and start treating me right. Or we are parting ways..."

[sourpuss]

Thanks guys. Youngblood, your post made me chuckle. Good stuff. I'm going to give it some thought, and make a decision. My coach is a good guy, just clueless. He's never had anyone be so serious about it before, so he doesn't have a lot of experience taking boxers beyond 5 or 6 bouts.

[Youngblood]

haha I'm sorry. I know girls think and see things differently then guys. I went straight to my 3 times of viewing Dr. Phil on that post.

[sourpuss]

haha I'm sorry. I know girls think and see things differently then guys. I went straight to my 3 times of viewing Dr. Phil on that post.

It was good advice though.

[Sharla]

It is always good to get another opinion Youngblood

yeah I don't want to telegraph my experiences onto you so i'm sorry if i'm doing that.

I don't want to insinuate that you should quit but i do think you shouldn'y be a doormat in your bad relationship either.

I think that was the mistake i made and i think you can do better.

[sourpuss]

It is always good to get another opinion Youngblood

yeah I don't want to telegraph my experiences onto you so i'm sorry if i'm doing that.

I don't want to insinuate that you should quit but i do think you shouldn'y be a doormat in your bad relationship either.

I think that was the mistake i made and i think you can do better.

I'm glad you're here to give me advice. Women's boxing is a lot tougher row to hoe sometimes and you understand that.

You're right that I need to be more vocal about what I need. My coach and I are meeting to workout tomorrow night, just us two so I'll have a chat with him then.