Can someone please help me figure out which song this is, I'm going fucking insane

[Diane]

I tried Googling those lyrics for you, and I came up with nothing, except for the Eddie Murphy reference.

I've tried every internet search I can think of. Nothing. You'd think something would come up if it's popular enough that I've heard it played twice on the university station... It's not even that great of a song, I just happen to like it.

Try sending an email to the radio station, and ask them.