Worst kiss of your life??

[Andre]

I never asked his name, (where the fuk has the embarrassment smile gone?)

Long story..it was all to stop a small bike gang war in Vics hamburger bar late on a Friday/Sat night in Frankston about 30 years ago, (I forget what colors they had) Maybe coffin cheaters as they wernt from our parts, anyway they were real pissed at my mates for being smart asses to them.
I walked in and tried to talk my way out of it, said to the leader of the bikers dont worry dude we are just like you lads we ride too we are just like one of you, he said prove it kiss me, I just laughed but it went down after an uncomfortable silence and then everyone laughed and that was that, they shook hands and left. Needs must when the devil drives,I read it well we would of ended up in hospital.
One of mates who is just an angry dwarf was saying after wards to me ya fukkin pussy we could of had them! for years afterwards he would always rabbit punch me when I wasnt expecting it or come up and take a thousand pissed swings and shots which Id block until he got tired and secrectly more angry. Until one day I thought what the hell as he eye balled me and I placed a foot through his solar plexus, stupid bastard never knew who he was dealing with until then. Now the silly cunt actually asks if he can try and get one in on me .

[JazMerkin]

This isn't even difficult for me.

Zahra - Girl I went out with for about 2 weeks in college. Loadsa man were on it, but I got her. She had great lips and serious back off, so I was really looking forward to it, but lipsing her actually bordered on painful, because she just sent her tongue all over the place. I had a few more goes to see if it was just a bad day, but no, so she had to get dashed. About a year and a bit later, she went all religious and started wearing a hijab. Although the world was denied the sight of a truly fantastic arse, many another man was saved from her tongue's thresher machine motions.

[Spicoli]

16 yrs old and neighbor named Diane L**ker.It was like having soaking wet sweaty gym socks in your mouth,and she did the whole double handed grab my head thing....fooking hell I thought I was going to die.

Couple of weeks ago I had my teeth and tounge bitten by accident.It was actually a bit of a turn on.

[Violent Demise]

I don't really pay kissing any mine any more. I rate blow jobs. And clearly without a doubt the worse one belong to Priscilla Fuentes. A hot girl who acted like having a dick in her mouth was beneath her. And it showed. Her skills were a 1 on a 1 to 10 scale. Than there was this

"Do you have to keep your hand on the back of my head"?
"My jaw is starting to hurt. Is that normal"
"Why you pulling my hair"
"Your not gonna finish in my mouth are you"?

Bitch shut the fukk up. I'm not even touching your hair. And there's is no way in hell I'm finishing with your pathetic skills and non stop talk. Took a lot of patience to not just push her onto her back, sit on her chest and just ram it down her throat rather she like it or not. The fact that her father was LAPD kind of influenced my thinking as well. Anyways this 19 year old from the City Terreace area has the lead on the worse by a substancial amount.

[Dizaster]

I don't really pay kissing any mine any more. I rate blow jobs. And clearly without a doubt the worse one belong to Priscilla Fuentes. A hot girl who acted like having a dick in her mouth was beneath her. And it showed. Her skills were a 1 on a 1 to 10 scale. Than there was this

"Do you have to keep your hand on the back of my head"?
"My jaw is starting to hurt. Is that normal"
"Why you pulling my hair"
"Your not gonna finish in my mouth are you"?

Bitch shut the fukk up. I'm not even touching your hair. And there's is no way in hell I'm finishing with your pathetic skills and non stop talk. Took a lot of patience to not just push her onto her back, sit on her chest and just ram it down her throat rather she like it or not. The fact that her father was LAPD kind of influenced my thinking as well. Anyways this 19 year old from the City Terreace area has the lead on the worse by a substancial amount.

Haha I hear that... Heard all those lines and it's just lame.... Man when their is a pussy in my face it's a pleasure to munch that thing up.... A girl can only be so lucky to to have a dick to suck.. To act like it is beneath them or it's "eww" it's like, go join a nunnery...

"Ahhh my mouth is sore, can I stop now"... fuck why did you even bother starting then... It's a big turn off if a girl isn't in to giving a blow job.... Especially when other girls act as if sucking your dick is the only thing that will keep them alive...

God bless them..

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Haha I hear that... Heard all those lines and it's just lame.... Man when their is a pussy in my face it's a pleasure to munch that thing up.... A girl can only be so lucky to to have a dick to suck.. To act like it is beneath them or it's "eww" it's like, go join a nunnery...

"Ahhh my mouth is sore, can I stop now"... fuck why did you even bother starting then... It's a big turn off if a girl isn't in to giving a blow job.... Especially when other girls act as if sucking your dick is the only thing that will keep them alive...

God bless them..

See, it's your OWN fault for picking these women

[Dizaster]

See, it's your OWN fault for picking these women

To be fair, they don't really announce, "hey, i'm hot and will get incredibly horny in your presence, but I have little interest in putting your penis anywhere near my mouth"....

Those girls should be issued free t-shirts..

[Howlin Mad Missy]

To be fair, they don't really announce, "hey, i'm hot and will get incredibly horny in your presence, but I have little interest in putting your penis anywhere near my mouth"....

Those girls should be issued free t-shirts..

just your penis or everyone's?

for what it's worth...it's part of the course innit? quid pro quo and all that.. As long as your clean and we're not going to choke on ball hair.

[Nameless]

There is really a couple of epic answers over here, I woke up grumpy but now I had my good 5 minutes of intensive laugh. Though I did stumble upon kissers that weren't stellar so to speak, I had nothing compared to those who ha the impression to stuck their tongue into a pit sand or feeling like their mouth was being raped by a Chthulu's tentacles attack.

[Youngblood]

My great grand mother put her tongue in my ear on her death bed. She's french and always kissed me on the cheek or by the ear, but was a bit confused in the end. To this day I can't stand when a chic goes there. Freaks me the hell out.

[Nameless]

My great grand mother put her tongue in my ear on her death bed. She's french and always kissed me on the cheek or by the ear, but was a bit confused in the end. To this day I can't stand when a chic goes there. Freaks me the hell out.

*note to others* French Canadian do not normally stick their tongues in other peoples ear, it is not common, we're not dangerous ear forking aliens.

[Jimanuel Boogustus]

My great grand mother put her tongue in my ear on her death bed. She's french and always kissed me on the cheek or by the ear, but was a bit confused in the end. To this day I can't stand when a chic goes there. Freaks me the hell out.

*note to others* French Canadian do not normally stick their tongues in other peoples ear, it is not common, we're not dangerous ear forking aliens.

Hahahahaha!!!!

Asterixing someone else's quote. Classic.

[Violent Demise]

Haha I hear that... Heard all those lines and it's just lame.... Man when their is a pussy in my face it's a pleasure to munch that thing up.... A girl can only be so lucky to to have a dick to suck.. To act like it is beneath them or it's "eww" it's like, go join a nunnery...

"Ahhh my mouth is sore, can I stop now"... fuck why did you even bother starting then... It's a big turn off if a girl isn't in to giving a blow job.... Especially when other girls act as if sucking your dick is the only thing that will keep them alive...

God bless them..

That's always been as they say my Achilles heel.

The bitch is no good. She needs to go. It's been time she needed to go. Keeping her around is to much of a hassle. It's ran it's course. Your done with her.

I know all that. And it's true. But than the bitch opens her mouth and earns herself a pass. I'm ashamed.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

You dumbass. It's a learnt skill like any other...to be fair like most things some people seem to have a natural aptitude... if she's keen ask her to do more of what you like. If she really likes you she'll ask you.

[Hornfinger]

To be totally honest i haven't kissed a girl where I thought 'that was really good' for a long time. Maybe I just attracted girls that can't. I'm currently ploughing this girl with a huge tongue. It's not good. But A guys gotta fuck ya know?

I'm starting to think that women are a bit clueless.

I mean you hear all the time women moaning that men don't know what they're doing in the sack. Women are just as bad.

99% of woman don't know how to give a hand job. They tug away at the root for ages and wonder why you haven't come.

The tip bitch! the fucking tip!! that's where the feeling is.

Women should be made to watch porn then they'll find out how it's done.

God damn!