I didnt allow my boys to go to my Dads funeral, no need for them to see everyone they know in pain. They know he's gone and wont ever be coming back. They didnt need to see his box being lowered to know that, my Mum wouldnt allow the box to be lowered until everyone had gone anyway.

You cant win mate, you will probably end up taking them. Just get through it the best you can. Make sure the baby is asleep for the service and play eye spy with the boy