Quote Originally Posted by Mars_ax View Post
They say that God has a purpose for his creations, this is confirmed every-time you get a stiff one, fact!

Seriously, I was talking to a christian friend of mine a few weeks back who said he felt guilty when he masturbated. (but apparently couldn't help himself) Because the "sex" wasn't with his wife, and therefore God wouldn't approve of it. (I'm not making this up)

I don't know if he listened, but I told him that it was his tallywacker , not "God's" and he could do anything he damn well pleased with it, including jacking-off 10 times a day, without feeling any "guilt".

Thoughts?
It is strange that a omnipotent God should create a body so imperfect for the roles he wished it to fulfil. The Talmudic tradition of referring to spilled seed as the murder of unborn generations and the creation of demons has at it's heart the story of Onan. He was the son of Judah and when his brother Er died his dad Judah told him to go and srvice his sister in law Tamar and give her some offspring. So Onan went and had a portion but withdrew before the last chorus and spilled his little soldiers onto the earth. He did this because according to Jewish law any child he created with Tamar would not be considered his heir. God being such an all loving forgiving type chap made sure he was rewarded with an early death.

Many Christians take this to mean that masturbation is forbidden. Which is strange as he was not masturbating and other crazy old testament mitzvahs, or commandments, like circumcision, have been sensibly rejected by Christians. The repercussions of such beliefs continue to echo today. Catholics like strict Orthodox Jews still wont use condoms because weirdly they think that counts as ejaculation outside of the vagina and results in destruction of the seed. Millions die in abject poverty and starvation but at least their parents did not use a condom

In theory your friend should be fine cracking one off as long as he can hold off ejaculating until he finds a welcoming minge.Which probably has to be his wifes.

Anyway back to my original point. Why would God create a penis that during adolescence would involuntarily waste seed outside of a vagina in a horny teenagers sleep? Why let the unmarried get hardons before they can ritualistically dispose of them with their wives in the allowed way? Is he so obsessed with testing us? Why is there nothing in the Torah or Bible against women masturbating? Why is the human foot made up of so many bones and pretty poorly designed for walking upright? An ostrich foot is better. OUR feet were great for climbing as monkeys but give us back, shin and ankle problems because as bipedal hairless monkeys they are inefficient.

And yes you are right it is his Tallywacker. It reminds me of an Old Jethro Joke.



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