a horrible gay experience

[Mad_Dog]

I think I had a gay experience yesterday

it all started innocently, ze ol lovable M_D was at his lunch hour, and he had gone to ze mall. For you poor Euros who are barely out of the stone age, ze mall is a great big building with lots and lots of stores. Ze goal was to go get a new cell phone.

Anyhoo, as M_D walked along, a hot hot hot girl comes up to him and asks to see his hands. IF a hot girl asked to see your hands, you show her your hands, at least I do. She says come with me, holds me by the hand and I follow.

She had a particularly sexy accent I thought, Eastern Euro...maybe Russian although it could have been Central Ohioan.....
regardless she takes me to a little shop, a type of I guess beauty shop where they sell beauty creams and shiot like that.

it was not really a store but a small booth where she sold her goods. She proceeded to wash my hands with a mixture she said came straight from the Dead Sea.

Then she started buffing my nails with some kind of cube and she used all three sides of it and it was supposed to make my nails shiny.

Here I am in the middle of a mall with hundreds of people walking by and I am getting my nails done by a hot girl.

OH THE HORRAW!

I could not get away, all the guys who were passing by had this smirk on their face and they were laughing at me I know this!!!!

I ended up buying the dead sea salt crap and the nail stuff for about $50 bucks. This chick was pretty convincing. and by that point I was so humiliated I would just about do anything she said.

She was very hot though, and while she was buffing my nails, she kept my hand very very close to her chest, which was very nice I might add. I could swear I could almost touch it and her leg was like between mine and almost touching me in my most intimate of areas.

I got home that night, and the ol M_D tells his wife....who is very pregnant and not as understanding as me....look honey look what I got......she tells me I bought sugar, lemon juice and honey and I just got taken for a ride.

I did show her my great shiny nails and she rolled her eyes.

the Central Ohioan Russian could have been Israeli chick was very very hot though

[Saddo]

hahahahahaaha

funny stuff...

bet you have double glazing, solar panel, new kitchen and a million Credit cards hahahaha

you are what is known in the trade as a FACE...

sellers pray on FACES as we know they will buy any old crap so they dont offend the seller hahahahhaha

P.S i think you may be gay Mr Shiny Nails

Hope this helps

[Mad_Dog]

Saddo, in my mind this chick was very attracted to me and selected me due to my good looks and charm

but my evil wife is now making me return the stuff........I am not all together sure that how I will be able to do this as I hear the central ohioan accent.

[Mad_Dog]

my nails look better than your though, this is fact you can not deny it!!!!!

[Saddo]

but my evil wife is now making me return the stuff.

hahahahahahaha toooo funny

i can just imagine you going back for a refund and returning home with no refund and a leg waxing kit from the same seller hahahahaha

let me know how you get on with the refund mate

[Howlin Mad Missy]

the trick now is to do to your wife what the chick did to you.

Exfoliate with the scrub, taking care to massage the hands slowly and firmly. Dead sea salt is full of minerals that can help invigorate the body, it's good for many skin conditions (at least when used in high enough concentrations and usually in a bath). Lemon is an astringent and helps to lighten the skin & counter sun/age spots. Honey is a natural moisturiser and draws water to the skin, it also contains minerals, antibiotics, hydrogen peroxide that kills bugs. The buffer takes the ridges out of your nails.

Wifey is just being a fat heffer. I check out a guys hands, if he's covered in grime with grotty nails he ain't touching me!

[Mad_Dog]

well my beautiful honney bunny my hands are strong and manly but soft as a baby's bottom

so do I finally get a chance to sample you goods so to speak?

[Saddo]

Missy knows her stuff she loves being touched by somthing that is smooth, taste like sea salt and fill her full of minerals

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Missy knows her stuff she loves being touched by somthing that is smooth, taste like sea salt and fill her full of minerals

[CutMeMick]

I think I had a gay experience yesterday

it all started innocently, ze ol lovable M_D was at his lunch hour, and he had gone to ze mall. For you poor Euros who are barely out of the stone age, ze mall is a great big building with lots and lots of stores. Ze goal was to go get a new cell phone.

Anyhoo, as M_D walked along, a hot hot hot girl comes up to him and asks to see his hands. IF a hot girl asked to see your hands, you show her your hands, at least I do. She says come with me, holds me by the hand and I follow.

She had a particularly sexy accent I thought, Eastern Euro...maybe Russian although it could have been Central Ohioan.....
regardless she takes me to a little shop, a type of I guess beauty shop where they sell beauty creams and shiot like that.

it was not really a store but a small booth where she sold her goods. She proceeded to wash my hands with a mixture she said came straight from the Dead Sea.

Then she started buffing my nails with some kind of cube and she used all three sides of it and it was supposed to make my nails shiny.

Here I am in the middle of a mall with hundreds of people walking by and I am getting my nails done by a hot girl.

OH THE HORRAW!

I could not get away, all the guys who were passing by had this smirk on their face and they were laughing at me I know this!!!!

I ended up buying the dead sea salt crap and the nail stuff for about $50 bucks. This chick was pretty convincing. and by that point I was so humiliated I would just about do anything she said.

She was very hot though, and while she was buffing my nails, she kept my hand very very close to her chest, which was very nice I might add. I could swear I could almost touch it and her leg was like between mine and almost touching me in my most intimate of areas.

I got home that night, and the ol M_D tells his wife....who is very pregnant and not as understanding as me....look honey look what I got......she tells me I bought sugar, lemon juice and honey and I just got taken for a ride.

I did show her my great shiny nails and she rolled her eyes.

the Central Ohioan Russian could have been Israeli chick was very very hot though

M_D damn!!!!
Don't worry your not gay.... Your only gay if you ended up having lunch with a guy and kissing him.


By the way I know that scenario ALL to well...... thats why when I go to the mall I walk as far away as possible from those booths in the middle. Ever










By the way I have a GREAT juice maker for sale like new!!!! send me a PM if your interested in buying it.

[Mad_Dog]

well that depends

do ye have a russian accent?

[brad4dboxer]

Fuckin' HA!!!!

And some more hahahaha-ing!!!!

This is great!!

M_D~ Do not worry. You are not of The_Gay.
I have spoken to the_Ohioans & they have assured me of such.
They think you are funny & even somewhat manly for a West Coaster.

Even the macho-est of men (whom is the-brad4dboxer) has been fast-talked by the sexy-woman who knows the secrets of cosmetics (Missy) & will rub your appendages in public if it makes a sale.
However... it is never (EVER) acceptable to have shiny nails as a man of the non-blowmosexual order.


^^^^^^^
Facts above.

[Mad_Dog]

where have you been my brotha?

can you switch jobs already so that you can work 4 hours a day and post the other 4?

[brad4dboxer]

Yes.

That is only if Saddo hires me to be the full time moderator in the Western Hemisphere.


Hey M_D!
Did that mall you speak of have that weird squirting/massaging machine in it with the 'hot girl' plucking recruits out the public for a demo?
Well, mine does.
You climb into some clear plexiglass tube that has a plastic lining on the inside.
The public can see you as you are in this masochistic torture machine.
You are face down in this odd device & then the aforementioned "accented hot girl" turns on about a hundred pulsing, squirting jets of water & this is supposed to relax you.
Whilst every passer by is laughing at your peril.
You see, these water jets come out at full laser strength, & occasionally hit your most guarded package.
Good Christing, y'all!!
Make it stop!!! Please Make It Stop!!!

Not cool.

[Mad_Dog]

yes they do Brad

and congrats on the buckeye football. they are going to do good things this year