Thread: !

**Fantana** · 02-28-2008 02:47 AM

I thought I should get a few nuggets of Gold in for when the econonmy crashes again so I went looking. I remember reading somewhere that gold can be dug out of the ground where rabbits leave it and also in the most unexpected of places. I figured my Mums garden lawn would probably be filled with gold since

A) we have a lot of problems with rabbits.
B) It would be totally unexpected

I didn't bother using a metal detector, I felt lucky. I dug for seven hours and the hole I made was so big I couldn't get out. It started to rain and I felt a cold coming on as I scurried around in the hole I made.

I managed to claw out of the hole but my Mum had got back from shopping and she started smacking me because I made a really deep (I'm talking almost 6 foot) hole in the lawn and didn't find any gold. I did find some stones though and the bones of what I presume are an ancient cat from the dinosaur period.

I didn't give up there, I went round and expected Mr Berkleys mouth next door because I thought he might have some gold teeth like those people on TV. I was watching my favourite film the one which reminds me of me, Home Alone, and saw the bad man had a gold tooth. He looks a lot like Mr Berkley so that is why I checked his mouth. He also thinks it was my fault his cat died, it wasn�t, I clearly wrote signs around my home made mine that said "HOME MADE MINE FOR CATCHING BADDIES". It was Milkies own fault for ignoring the signs and going on the mine to eat the roast ham I put on it. It�s science.

Mr. Berkleys mouth didn�t have any gold in it and he also bit me. Mr Berkley is quite mean to me, he never gives me my balls back because he says I try to kick them into his garden. I really don't, I was trying to smash his window but I keep missing.

I happened to come across an old map which shows where gold is. It seems to be from a man named Collin, it says on the front "Collins British Atlas, 1989" Atlas as we all know is that place of the ancients, and from scanning this map, it seems Atlas is actually Britain.

I got my camping gear ready, in a non-gay way, and set out into the woods to try and find the gold which is on Collins map, I hoped the badgers wouldn't eat me like they did my guinea pig, Snuggles.

Well I set up camp in the woods, it got really cold though and I couldn't dig for too long. I had my cardigan on my Mum got me for Christmas but I was still shivering, and lonely.

There was a lot of rustling and weird noises in the woods, I didn't get scared because real men, such as myself, aren't afraid of anything. I saw a toad and remembered the saying, you have to kiss a lot of toads to find a princess. I went for the full on Frenchie, but then my mouth stung and I started frothing and hallucinating.

I still had signal on my mobile phone so I called up my best friend Brickadius Murphy and he came and made sure I didn't get engaged to the toad. Where he was the first time I got engaged I don't know.

As Brickadius Murphy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world I listen to what he says and if I don�t like it I can ignore it without him caring. But he said I should go home so we packed up my stuff and now here I am, back home without any gold.

It�s fucking shit.

**Kev** · 02-28-2008 02:52 AM

I'm disappointed, I've always prided myself on being Saddo's craziest and most eccentric forum member, you come back and eclipse me in just two posts

Another great story though, why not take the frog home, she should be able to sort out Gary for you

**Snakey** · 02-28-2008 03:17 AM

THE MOONROCK RETURNS!

**Sharla** · 02-28-2008 03:37 AM

Have you planned another epic voyage yet? I think Bilbo mentioned wanting to search for a live dinosaur - perhaps the two of you should plan something?

**Kev** · 02-28-2008 03:40 AM

Originally Posted by Sharla

Have you planned another epic voyage yet? I think Bilbo mentioned wanting to search for a live dinosaur - perhaps the two of you should plan something?

That's a special trip I'm only taking with Boxing Gorilla. He's the only other person who believes

**Sharla** · 02-28-2008 03:45 AM

Originally Posted by bilbo

That's a special trip I'm only taking with Boxing Gorilla. He's the only person who believes

Oh sorry Bilbo. I shouldn't randomly invite members on your expedition without permission.

What if though you need Fantana's frog kissing talents to magically reveal the opening of T-Rex's secret lair?!?! He may be a great asset to you!

Perhaps you can ask him to earn his passage with some sort of initiation ritual?

**brucelee** · 02-28-2008 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by Fantana

I thought I should get a few nuggets of Gold in for when the econonmy crashes again so I went looking. I remember reading somewhere that gold can be dug out of the ground where rabbits leave it and also in the most unexpected of places. I figured my Mums garden lawn would probably be filled with gold since

A) we have a lot of problems with rabbits.
B) It would be totally unexpected

I didn't bother using a metal detector, I felt lucky. I dug for seven hours and the hole I made was so big I couldn't get out. It started to rain and I felt a cold coming on as I scurried around in the hole I made.

I managed to claw out of the hole but my Mum had got back from shopping and she started smacking me because I made a really deep (I'm talking almost 6 foot) hole in the lawn and didn't find any gold. I did find some stones though and the bones of what I presume are an ancient cat from the dinosaur period.

I didn't give up there, I went round and expected Mr Berkleys mouth next door because I thought he might have some gold teeth like those people on TV. I was watching my favourite film the one which reminds me of me, Home Alone, and saw the bad man had a gold tooth. He looks a lot like Mr Berkley so that is why I checked his mouth. He also thinks it was my fault his cat died, it wasn�t, I clearly wrote signs around my home made mine that said "HOME MADE MINE FOR CATCHING BADDIES". It was Milkies own fault for ignoring the signs and going on the mine to eat the roast ham I put on it. It�s science.

Mr. Berkleys mouth didn�t have any gold in it and he also bit me. Mr Berkley is quite mean to me, he never gives me my balls back because he says I try to kick them into his garden. I really don't, I was trying to smash his window but I keep missing.

I happened to come across an old map which shows where gold is. It seems to be from a man named Collin, it says on the front "Collins British Atlas, 1989" Atlas as we all know is that place of the ancients, and from scanning this map, it seems Atlas is actually Britain.

I got my camping gear ready, in a non-gay way, and set out into the woods to try and find the gold which is on Collins map, I hoped the badgers wouldn't eat me like they did my guinea pig, Snuggles.

Well I set up camp in the woods, it got really cold though and I couldn't dig for too long. I had my cardigan on my Mum got me for Christmas but I was still shivering, and lonely.

There was a lot of rustling and weird noises in the woods, I didn't get scared because real men, such as myself, aren't afraid of anything. I saw a toad and remembered the saying, you have to kiss a lot of toads to find a princess. I went for the full on Frenchie, but then my mouth stung and I started frothing and hallucinating.

I still had signal on my mobile phone so I called up my best friend Brickadius Murphy and he came and made sure I didn't get engaged to the toad. Where he was the first time I got engaged I don't know.

As Brickadius Murphy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world I listen to what he says and if I don�t like it I can ignore it without him caring. But he said I should go home so we packed up my stuff and now here I am, back home without any gold.

It�s fucking shit.

This story is definitely better than Bilbo's poems to Julius Rain.

Would like to hear more from Fantana. He's the man!!!!

**Howlin Mad Missy** · 02-29-2008 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by Fantana

As Brickadius Murphy is my bestest friend in the whole wide world I listen to what he says and if I don�t like it I can ignore it without him caring. But he said I should go home so we packed up my stuff and now here I am, back home without any gold.

It�s fucking shit.

you do look somewhat like Terence Hill