[FONT='Arial','sans-serif'][FONT='Arial','sans-serif']One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I
don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and
then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted
new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a
pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair
of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must
have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this
is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I
don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added,'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
b**** knows I'm smarter than her. [/FONT]


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