My working hours are bad. I finish at 11pm on mondays and 10pm on thursdays and fridays. Then I need to be in bed because I have classes at my second school in the mornings. The hours are not all that tough but getting to sleep has been a big problem. I started using sleeping pills last summer because it is really brutal finishing at 11pm and to then be needing to wind done for a 10am class in the morning. I just couldnt manage it so decided a pill would help me now and then if in trouble.
The onset of summer made it even worse here and sleep and anxiety become more of an issue. It gets so humid and sticky. Im never comfortable outside the realm of the British climate. I always like to have a beer but didnt want to use alcohol to knock myself out so used more of my medicine instead. Of course sometimes I would just drink beer.
And then I made excuses for myself whilst writing my essay. I needed to get through the week and sleep and wake up at certain times in order to get my work done on time. Medicine was there to knock me out on call.
Summer is almost out but I find im still pretty reliant upon my medicine. I have another deadline at the end of this month. Tonight I finished work at 11pm. I have class in the morning at 10pm. I need to write a substantial amount in the afternoon if im to make any progress. Inevitabley I will take a pill and most likely be asleep in 2 hours.
Am I getting too attached to my meds? Should I make adjustments in my life? My contracts finish at the end of next month and Ive been thinking about just having a break and not doing any work for a while whilst I try and get myself back into a normal routine again. Its an awkward situation.
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