Any good jokes ????

[Master]

A new couple were lying naked in bed and setting some ground rules for sex. The man says to his girlfriend “if I want sex then I will rub your right breast, If I do not want sex then I will rub your left breast”.

The girlfriend says but what about me. So the boyfriend says “OK if you want sex rub my dick up and down one time but if you do not want sex rub it a thousand times”.

[erics44]

I went to the shop the other day and said do you have any helicopter flavour crisps, she said nah we only do plane

[roberto duran legend]

Wife gets home from work to find her husband watching the football
again. she says, " im leaving you. All you do is talk about football
and you think about nothing else. Im also seeing someone else.
He is younger than you, more handsome , tender, understanding,
treats me like a lady, has a 12inch cock and fucks me everyday."
" really" replies the husband . " What team does he support ?" .