How do you deal with constant nagging?

[Saddo]

Sorry to read this mate and for you to type it really tells me how unhappy you really are at the minute.


i know what it is and i have a feeling you do too.

me and the wife never argue and she never nags me EVER, but when we were in Germany she drank more as did i and we got into some really bad arguments.

now i have been back in the UK for 2 years we aint had one.... i can only put this down to the massive daily pressure of living abroad even thou we loved it over there

sounds like she just wants to come home mate... i know thats not what you want to hear but its the truth... what happens if you stick it out over there?? i have no idea mate because i didn't.

hopefully things get better because you and your wife are alot stronger than me

[Kev]

Mate you live in Lilleput, all you got to do is stand up and then just like God you can ignore what's going on down there on the ground.

[El Kabong]

...having just now read your actual problem, I'll post a non-smartass response (I won't even mention the jumpers I've seen....btw you don't want that, it don't pay off for anyone)

During any arguments men and women do things differently and here are a few pointers and hints I have for you:
#1 Man seeks to avoid confrontations and "shuts down"...we don't want to get our full "angry on" in front of our lady, it's ungentlemenly and we'd like to avoid it...in my observations women are both angered and confused by this tactic.

#2 Women are bat shit crazy, during an argument they'll say things like "I don't want to talk about it" while they MEAN "I want you to pay no attention to me saying 'I don't want to talk about it' and demand to address the issue to show your dedication to making this relationship work and show that you are in charge and can solve problems".....and this is why women are a "mystery" to some but just plain old fucking crazy to me. It's not that I don't love and appreciate them, it's just they take logic and kick it to the curb.

#3 As a man this totally sucks, but if you seriously want stuff to get better you've got to put your big boy pants on and calmly and rationally talk this out with her. Be supportive (unless there is a conflict of intrest) be understanding, use "I" statements when talking to her so as not to sound like you're accusing her of anything, for example "When you ____, I feel _____" (or "When you call me lazy, I feel like ____") ...all this sounds totally gay and the keeping calm and being understanding and all will be very difficult, but you'll at least get to the root of the problem....what you do from there is something for you two to handle.

[Mark TKO]

its these sort of things that put me off settling down

don't really know what to say Miles but sounds to me as though the her giving up the 'coming back home for 6 months' has started things snowballing and I have to say it don't bode well for the near future - and I hope you get through tit


the only advice I can give you - is to start drinking heavily

[Gandalf]

Cheers for the advice fellas.

I think this nagging spell will pass in due course when she realises how unreasonable she is being. I mean fair enough working 6 months overseas will look good on her resume and enable her to gain promotion quicker, but then she is the one that has been talking about wanting to start a family in her early 30's. I'm the one that will need to be earning more money and TBH I can do that easier here with my experience, qualifications and contacts. Me going home and doing nothing and then coming back here again would just put me back at square one. It just wouldn't make any sense to do that. She is having her extremely irritating huff and a puff, but in the meantime I shall continue doing my work, try and avoid the gunfire, and drink heavily like Mark suggested. Like Lyle says, women aren't always the most logical of creatures and deep thinkers like myself are always ahead of the curve. She will realise that I am right in due course. Well, I hope so anyway!

[:::PSL:::]

How do I deal with a constant nagging cunt? I'd just say "bitch, gimme a beer... just clean, cook, and STFU!"

[Mark TKO]

If I try to iron my own shirts she will simply iron them again. If I wash up, then she will simply do it again

what the fuck are you moaning about !!??!! The constant nagging surely makes it all worth it

Sooner you can get her on the bathroom job too the better.


Didn't realise she was Korean so my bit on the fact you were stopping her returning home for 6 months is null and void.

Give her 2 months and if she still not calmed down adopt the Mike Tyson - Robin Givens tactic

by the way you got PS3 sorted yet - we need to get it on on Fight Night

[Gandalf]

If I try to iron my own shirts she will simply iron them again. If I wash up, then she will simply do it again

what the fuck are you moaning about !!??!! The constant nagging surely makes it all worth it

Sooner you can get her on the bathroom job too the better.


Didn't realise she was Korean so my bit on the fact you were stopping her returning home for 6 months is null and void.

Give her 2 months and if she still not calmed down adopt the Mike Tyson - Robin Givens tactic

by the way you got PS3 sorted yet - we need to get it on on Fight Night

The strange thing is that she has been as right as rain today, maybe just a case of me pissing her off and her having the post holiday blues. Dunno, will have to wait and see. I hope she isn't secretly reading all of this!

And yeah, I managed to get the playstation hooked up. I designed this pasty faced fighter called Wlad Duncan. Stupid name really, but it sounded funny at the time. The kind of name you would expect Lyle to give a fighter. I just cannot deal with fighters who are bigger than me and I hate the lag that you get sometimes. Maybe we can get a fight going this weekend. The time difference might be a bit awkward though.

[Mark TKO]

am doing nothing all day saturday have decided


send me request - marktko

I have a middleweight and a heavy

[Nameless]

Well, why doesn't she go to do her stage abroad while you remain in Korea? I mean, 6 months is long but not that much either, personally I know some people who've been split apart for longer than that due to work or travel (my parents at the time have been split 6 months too when my Dad went to do his trademarket course in Toronto). I think it would be the easiest way and it's quite doable if you ask me, plus a 6 months is just enough for both of you to miss each other and to be extremely happy once you'll find back each others. Could it be a possibility?

[Gandalf]

Well, why doesn't she go to do her stage abroad while you remain in Korea? I mean, 6 months is long but not that much either, personally I know some people who've been split apart for longer than that due to work or travel (my parents at the time have been split 6 months too when my Dad went to do his trademarket course in Toronto). I think it would be the easiest way and it's quite doable if you ask me, plus a 6 months is just enough for both of you to miss each other and to be extremely happy once you'll find back each others. Could it be a possibility?

When I was pissed off I told her to do just that, but she refused. Actually, this evening before she went to bed I told her I should have taken her for a holiday to Salford and that her impressions of England would have been a bit different. She agreed with me. I think her tune is changing tbh and life might well get back to normal in due course. There will always be a bit of nagging though, but that's life.

[CFH]

I suggest you kill her and blame it on a fan. Problem solved and no jury in the land will convict you.

[Lefty]

Well, why doesn't she go to do her stage abroad while you remain in Korea? I mean, 6 months is long but not that much either, personally I know some people who've been split apart for longer than that due to work or travel (my parents at the time have been split 6 months too when my Dad went to do his trademarket course in Toronto). I think it would be the easiest way and it's quite doable if you ask me, plus a 6 months is just enough for both of you to miss each other and to be extremely happy once you'll find back each others. Could it be a possibility?

When I was pissed off I told her to do just that, but she refused. Actually, this evening before she went to bed I told her I should have taken her for a holiday to Salford and that her impressions of England would have been a bit different. She agreed with me. I think her tune is changing tbh and life might well get back to normal in due course. There will always be a bit of nagging though, but that's life.

Salford ? Thats too kind. Give me a shout, and I'll give you and her a tour of Toxteth, Liverpool. She'll be begging me to take her back that fukking airport in no time.

[0james0]

Women nag, it's part of their genetic make up.

This whole disagreeing thing sounds just like you are both scouting out your boundries again, testing each other a little. Bit of boredom and samedom prob.

Maybe you just need to have one fuck off big row so you can both tell each other EXACTLY what is bugging you. Then improve from there.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

...having just now read your actual problem, I'll post a non-smartass response (I won't even mention the jumpers I've seen....btw you don't want that, it don't pay off for anyone)

During any arguments men and women do things differently and here are a few pointers and hints I have for you:
#1 Man seeks to avoid confrontations and "shuts down"...we don't want to get our full "angry on" in front of our lady, it's ungentlemenly and we'd like to avoid it...in my observations women are both angered and confused by this tactic.

#2 Women are bat shit crazy, during an argument they'll say things like "I don't want to talk about it" while they MEAN "I want you to pay no attention to me saying 'I don't want to talk about it' and demand to address the issue to show your dedication to making this relationship work and show that you are in charge and can solve problems".....and this is why women are a "mystery" to some but just plain old fucking crazy to me. It's not that I don't love and appreciate them, it's just they take logic and kick it to the curb.

#3 As a man this totally sucks, but if you seriously want stuff to get better you've got to put your big boy pants on and calmly and rationally talk this out with her. Be supportive (unless there is a conflict of intrest) be understanding, use "I" statements when talking to her so as not to sound like you're accusing her of anything, for example "When you ____, I feel _____" (or "When you call me lazy, I feel like ____") ...all this sounds totally gay and the keeping calm and being understanding and all will be very difficult, but you'll at least get to the root of the problem....what you do from there is something for you two to handle.

It must be my male side coming because I'm too lazy to read all the thread but as the token woman here, MILES. El Kabong is correct at least on part 1 & 3.

If you walk away from an argument it looks like you avoiding dealing with a problem which makes us even madder.

Simple thing is this and you know it already. Men and women communicate differently. If you adjust your reactions to her you will a different reaction from her. Think of it as retraining a dog, ahem. First you'll get confusion and resistance.

Regarding point 2. I know men especially like to think they're logically. Most people base most decisions on emototions and not logic...or if you're a guy who doesn't have emotions you have 'gut' reactions.

Also consider things from her point of view. Regarding work. From her point of view she feels she has helped you find work...you're now saying you don't want to do it...she's seeing that as a rejection of HER so she will get pissy about it.

It takes two. Look, if spot a man developing a 404 error - that glazed over expression you get when stop listening especially we've mentioned something emotional that causes your brain to freeze up - I stop talking because I know you've stopped listening. This is great when you're calm but when upset that shit goes out the window.