How do you deal with constant nagging?

[Nameless]

Well, why doesn't she go to do her stage abroad while you remain in Korea? I mean, 6 months is long but not that much either, personally I know some people who've been split apart for longer than that due to work or travel (my parents at the time have been split 6 months too when my Dad went to do his trademarket course in Toronto). I think it would be the easiest way and it's quite doable if you ask me, plus a 6 months is just enough for both of you to miss each other and to be extremely happy once you'll find back each others. Could it be a possibility?

[Gandalf]

Well, why doesn't she go to do her stage abroad while you remain in Korea? I mean, 6 months is long but not that much either, personally I know some people who've been split apart for longer than that due to work or travel (my parents at the time have been split 6 months too when my Dad went to do his trademarket course in Toronto). I think it would be the easiest way and it's quite doable if you ask me, plus a 6 months is just enough for both of you to miss each other and to be extremely happy once you'll find back each others. Could it be a possibility?

When I was pissed off I told her to do just that, but she refused. Actually, this evening before she went to bed I told her I should have taken her for a holiday to Salford and that her impressions of England would have been a bit different. She agreed with me. I think her tune is changing tbh and life might well get back to normal in due course. There will always be a bit of nagging though, but that's life.

[CFH]

I suggest you kill her and blame it on a fan. Problem solved and no jury in the land will convict you.

[0james0]

Women nag, it's part of their genetic make up.

This whole disagreeing thing sounds just like you are both scouting out your boundries again, testing each other a little. Bit of boredom and samedom prob.

Maybe you just need to have one fuck off big row so you can both tell each other EXACTLY what is bugging you. Then improve from there.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

...having just now read your actual problem, I'll post a non-smartass response (I won't even mention the jumpers I've seen....btw you don't want that, it don't pay off for anyone)

During any arguments men and women do things differently and here are a few pointers and hints I have for you:
#1 Man seeks to avoid confrontations and "shuts down"...we don't want to get our full "angry on" in front of our lady, it's ungentlemenly and we'd like to avoid it...in my observations women are both angered and confused by this tactic.

#2 Women are bat shit crazy, during an argument they'll say things like "I don't want to talk about it" while they MEAN "I want you to pay no attention to me saying 'I don't want to talk about it' and demand to address the issue to show your dedication to making this relationship work and show that you are in charge and can solve problems".....and this is why women are a "mystery" to some but just plain old fucking crazy to me. It's not that I don't love and appreciate them, it's just they take logic and kick it to the curb.

#3 As a man this totally sucks, but if you seriously want stuff to get better you've got to put your big boy pants on and calmly and rationally talk this out with her. Be supportive (unless there is a conflict of intrest) be understanding, use "I" statements when talking to her so as not to sound like you're accusing her of anything, for example "When you ____, I feel _____" (or "When you call me lazy, I feel like ____") ...all this sounds totally gay and the keeping calm and being understanding and all will be very difficult, but you'll at least get to the root of the problem....what you do from there is something for you two to handle.

It must be my male side coming because I'm too lazy to read all the thread but as the token woman here, MILES. El Kabong is correct at least on part 1 & 3.

If you walk away from an argument it looks like you avoiding dealing with a problem which makes us even madder.

Simple thing is this and you know it already. Men and women communicate differently. If you adjust your reactions to her you will a different reaction from her. Think of it as retraining a dog, ahem. First you'll get confusion and resistance.

Regarding point 2. I know men especially like to think they're logically. Most people base most decisions on emototions and not logic...or if you're a guy who doesn't have emotions you have 'gut' reactions.

Also consider things from her point of view. Regarding work. From her point of view she feels she has helped you find work...you're now saying you don't want to do it...she's seeing that as a rejection of HER so she will get pissy about it.

It takes two. Look, if spot a man developing a 404 error - that glazed over expression you get when stop listening especially we've mentioned something emotional that causes your brain to freeze up - I stop talking because I know you've stopped listening. This is great when you're calm but when upset that shit goes out the window.

[generalbulldog]

With all joking aside.

Interracial marriages has a significantly higher divorce rate than same ethnic and or racial couples. A myriad of factors are added to the problems along with the traditional problems. One of these are that the interracial couples have to face the hurdle of different cultures and expectations within their respective cultures, along with other factors like society's views and opinions on them and the diminished social support from family and friends.

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/1...8.00491.x/full

A study done and published in the Journal of Family Relations. Not saying this will happen to you Miles, just thought the info was interesting.

[El Kabong]

Another thing miles, is that on occaision ladies like to have issues to work on/out like some kind of emotional aerobics....maybe she just had her Emotional Issue Death Ray pointed in your direction.

[Gandalf]

I don't think there is anything to worry about really. We had a good chat about everything yesterday and got all our views out reasonably and calmly and we are getting on for the first time in a week and life seems somewhat back to normal. No need to file the divorce papers just yet!

Again cheers for all the good advice, fellas and woman (Missy)!

[Violent Demise]

How do I deal with a constant nagging cunt? I'd just say "bitch, gimme a beer... just clean, cook, and STFU!"

Like that? I always thought you and brucelee were cool

I have been married now for just over five years and one thing that has really started to bug me is the incessant nagging. Since coming back from my holiday, the nagging is something that has really begun to stand out. It's all the time now. Honestly, anything I say right now gets turned into a verbal sparring match. I will say something, anything, and it will get turned into WW3. The same thing happened today. I simply said that I didn't want to do an early morning company class (starting 8am) and would much rather just work my regular teaching hours (between 10 and 6) and immediately she was on me calling me lazy, saying that I am useless, and telling me that she will never find me extra work again. Blah, blah, blah. A lot of histrionics over nothing. This time I put my foot down and simply told her to stop talking because I was just not in the mood for another row. Thereafter I simply ignored her and she stormed off to her room and here I am looking at a nice quiet night in the living room. I'm not complaining.

Ever since coming back from holiday she has been like this. The holiday was quite nice actually, but faltered a little towards the end which I had put down to PMS, but it's been getting progressively worse ever since. If I complain that it's too hot, I am always complaining. If I have a drink, I get called a drinking machine. If I wear a nice shirt and accidentally spill some dinner on it, I am in the doghouse. Today I went to work and my umbrella got stolen. I had to come home in the rain and my shirt was creased and drenched. It had been freshly ironed so I hurriedly put it in the bottom of the washing machine in fear of being accused of abusing my newly ironed clothes. That's just sad really.

One thing that annoyed my wife is that her company offered her a six month position in the UK and she asked me to drop all my contracts and just fly over there with her and do that. But I put my foot down and said no. I mean, no way will I just jump and leave like that. Korea is no heaven, but I have my responsibilities and ties here and to be honest I am more than settled. Maybe this is her sweet revenge, but if so it is extremely childish and tbh, I am getting towards the end of my tether with the whole shenanigans. It's not the easiest of things living overseas and if your supposed partner is then also trying to make everything you do so difficult then it leads to a lot of misery. I guess I'm just not very happy right now which is a shame because I really enjoyed my holiday and have come back quite refreshed. I haven't mentioned politics once since coming back!

So a thread about being nagged at and being in the doghouse. What are your experiences and how did you deal with it?

Got some bad news for you. The reason you getting so much negativity is cuz somebody has too. You become the scapegoat for everything that's currently going wrong. Your the one to blame. Why is that? Why you? Cuz your not priority at the moment. Chances are (I'm putting this at 75% I'm right) she's screwing someone else. And that somebody is getting all the positive your not getting while at the same time filling her head with things. He's dropping little hints and little comments that are convincing her that everything that's going wrong is cuz of you. And that's pissing her the fuck off. Why the fuck should she bother getting along with you when she's blaming you for everything? Think about it

[generalbulldog]

How do I deal with a constant nagging cunt? I'd just say "bitch, gimme a beer... just clean, cook, and STFU!"

Like that? I always thought you and brucelee were cool

I have been married now for just over five years and one thing that has really started to bug me is the incessant nagging. Since coming back from my holiday, the nagging is something that has really begun to stand out. It's all the time now. Honestly, anything I say right now gets turned into a verbal sparring match. I will say something, anything, and it will get turned into WW3. The same thing happened today. I simply said that I didn't want to do an early morning company class (starting 8am) and would much rather just work my regular teaching hours (between 10 and 6) and immediately she was on me calling me lazy, saying that I am useless, and telling me that she will never find me extra work again. Blah, blah, blah. A lot of histrionics over nothing. This time I put my foot down and simply told her to stop talking because I was just not in the mood for another row. Thereafter I simply ignored her and she stormed off to her room and here I am looking at a nice quiet night in the living room. I'm not complaining.

Ever since coming back from holiday she has been like this. The holiday was quite nice actually, but faltered a little towards the end which I had put down to PMS, but it's been getting progressively worse ever since. If I complain that it's too hot, I am always complaining. If I have a drink, I get called a drinking machine. If I wear a nice shirt and accidentally spill some dinner on it, I am in the doghouse. Today I went to work and my umbrella got stolen. I had to come home in the rain and my shirt was creased and drenched. It had been freshly ironed so I hurriedly put it in the bottom of the washing machine in fear of being accused of abusing my newly ironed clothes. That's just sad really.

One thing that annoyed my wife is that her company offered her a six month position in the UK and she asked me to drop all my contracts and just fly over there with her and do that. But I put my foot down and said no. I mean, no way will I just jump and leave like that. Korea is no heaven, but I have my responsibilities and ties here and to be honest I am more than settled. Maybe this is her sweet revenge, but if so it is extremely childish and tbh, I am getting towards the end of my tether with the whole shenanigans. It's not the easiest of things living overseas and if your supposed partner is then also trying to make everything you do so difficult then it leads to a lot of misery. I guess I'm just not very happy right now which is a shame because I really enjoyed my holiday and have come back quite refreshed. I haven't mentioned politics once since coming back!

So a thread about being nagged at and being in the doghouse. What are your experiences and how did you deal with it?

Got some bad news for you. The reason you getting so much negativity is cuz somebody has too. You become the scapegoat for everything that's currently going wrong. Your the one to blame. Why is that? Why you? Cuz your not priority at the moment. Chances are (I'm putting this at 75% I'm right) she's screwing someone else. And that somebody is getting all the positive your not getting while at the same time filling her head with things. He's dropping little hints and little comments that are convincing her that everything that's going wrong is cuz of you. And that's pissing her the fuck off. Why the fuck should she bother getting along with you when she's blaming you for everything? Think about it

Sancho has struck again!

[KKisser]

what did you ever see in her in the first place miles?









well, if only we could all go back to the time we fell in love with the other person.

[Gandalf]

LOL at VD.

That's the one thing she is definitely not doing. We spend fair too much time around one another to be doing that. There are no evenings apart or little trips out. Everything is pretty much done together, tbh probably the reason why we have been getting on each others nerves.

Like I say, we've got it all into the open and for the time being things have been alright. Though she did go to sleep at 11am and woke up at 3pm and then proceeded to blame me for not waking her up. She could have set her alarm or told me to wake her up, but no, it has to be my fault. Women are a strange breed!

[Howlin Mad Missy]

LOL at VD.

That's the one thing she is definitely not doing. We spend fair too much time around one another to be doing that. There are no evenings apart or little trips out. Everything is pretty much done together, tbh probably the reason why we have been getting on each others nerves.

Like I say, we've got it all into the open and for the time being things have been alright. Though she did go to sleep at 11am and woke up at 3pm and then proceeded to blame me for not waking her up. She could have set her alarm or told me to wake her up, but no, it has to be my fault. Women are a strange breed!

With all his excellent advice on women I'm thinking VD is about 15 and his sexual experience is based on razzle and his right hand.

[Andre]

LOL at VD.

That's the one thing she is definitely not doing. We spend fair too much time around one another to be doing that. There are no evenings apart or little trips out. Everything is pretty much done together, tbh probably the reason why we have been getting on each others nerves. She wants a threesome.



You and Vd , tag team.

Rough then caring you know Good cop bad cop.

Actually I couldnt think of anything worse Than a 3some, shoot yourself instead

Like I say, we've got it all into the open and for the time being things have been alright. Though she did go to sleep at 11am and woke up at 3pm and then proceeded to blame me for not waking her up. She could have set her alarm or told me to wake her up, but no, it has to be my fault. Women are a strange breed!

* Tell her: The up hill thing to do in life is to look for the good in someone you reach higher ground ; its too easy looking for the bad all the time because thats just a downhill slide for both.

[Lefty]

Well, why doesn't she go to do her stage abroad while you remain in Korea? I mean, 6 months is long but not that much either, personally I know some people who've been split apart for longer than that due to work or travel (my parents at the time have been split 6 months too when my Dad went to do his trademarket course in Toronto). I think it would be the easiest way and it's quite doable if you ask me, plus a 6 months is just enough for both of you to miss each other and to be extremely happy once you'll find back each others. Could it be a possibility?

When I was pissed off I told her to do just that, but she refused. Actually, this evening before she went to bed I told her I should have taken her for a holiday to Salford and that her impressions of England would have been a bit different. She agreed with me. I think her tune is changing tbh and life might well get back to normal in due course. There will always be a bit of nagging though, but that's life.

Salford ? Thats too kind. Give me a shout, and I'll give you and her a tour of Toxteth, Liverpool. She'll be begging me to take her back that fukking airport in no time.