What do you do for a living?

[Gandalf]

I agree with Bilbo, strangulation is a tried and tested method and ultimately has few effects on the environment. As a man who really believes in protecting the planet I full advocate strangulation.

Prepare her a bath with candle lit surroundings then come in with the broken rice cooker on an extension lead ; "Here remember this?"

Ooh, that is seriously twisted!