I kinda need advice. Bad times.

[Gandalf]

Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.

What if Megan Fox asked you to touch her fanny?

If she was a building, which building would she be you Lothario?

I would politely ask her to take it back to Optimus Prime and also tell her to have a decent shower first in order to remove the stench of cheesy Hollywood blockbusters.

Anyway, you buggers I am not from Harrogate. I am from Worthing, but Harrogate was my last point of departure before embarking on a lifelong British embargo. I am quite familiar with various linguistic forms and readily adopt those patterns in various situations. 'Cor' is one of the great words in the British lexicon.

And as for my romantic way with words, indeed it is quite true that I never sound like Barry White. I don't look like him either, but my wife loves me for being the unique visionary that I am. I could serenade the stars and build a stairway to the moon, but we all know that stuff is utter hogwash. I am a pragmatic realist and some women like honesty. If I am anything, it is eccentric with a decent dose of honesty thrown in for good measure.

I agree with Bilbo too. Jim has always seemed so normal, this thread has been a bit of an eye opener.

The problem is that to many posters in this thread seem to be stuck in thier ways of taking things way out of context, which is infuriating. It's actually maddening in a way....... But it's fine... I get it now. So like maggots on shit i'll let you usual suspects crawl all over this thread and turn Jimanuel Boogustus into what ever makes you feel better about yourself.
If what i have shared with you it really is too hard to conceive (your just gonna have to take my word for it dickheads) and it is much easier for you to pass me off as a nonse/ lunatic/ liar/ unfaithful then of course I can only say that it says more about you than it does me.

Doesn't necessarily apply to everyone but then in someway's I feel like I wanna say it might as well.

Why so serious?

You are giving yourself these labels because they seem to be circling around in your head. I have always thought of you as a sensible stand up kind of person, but this implosion is truly fascinating.

I don't think your definitions say very much about me at all, but if it makes you feel better about yourself, then for sure think that way.

If it is as quirky as it seems you should probably book a few sessions with a shrink and get this ironed out properly. You aren't managing this very well on your own at all.

[Jimanuel Boogustus]

I'm not managing with you lot, tis true but don't get it twisted. This situation is dealt with now. And Bil, seriously, I'm actually flattered by your inability

Missy, yawn.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

You're a joke of a man.

[Jimanuel Boogustus]

You're a joke of a man.

Missy, Yawn.

[Gandalf]

I'm not managing with you lot, tis true but don't get it twisted. This situation is dealt with now. And Bil, seriously, I'm actually flattered by your inability

Missy, yawn.

It can be annoying when everyone seems to be on your case. I get it all the time, I used to be much more thin skinned. I do snap every now and then though. It's good to explode with rage sometimes.

Like everyone has said, it is only natural to view an attractive person as attractive. All this is is old fashioned lust, you just need to keep a grip on it all.

[Munkymagic]

I really regret ever thinking that a bunch of cunts could ever offer genuine advice. I hope all your children get spinal biffida... Or whatever Bilbo had. Cunts.

I started reading this thread and though "fuck it...i wanna skip right to the end"...then started reading backwards. The quote above is priceless...wtf? Snap words written from a bus driver on the edge!....would not surprise me if he sits at home re-enacting the 'yoo talkin to me!" scene from Taxi Driver.

In all seriousness...what an amusing thread! hahaha

[superheavyrhun]

Is there a bus driver equivalent to going postal?

[Kev]

I really regret ever thinking that a bunch of cunts could ever offer genuine advice. I hope all your children get spinal biffida... Or whatever Bilbo had. Cunts.

I started reading this thread and though "fuck it...i wanna skip right to the end"...then started reading backwards. The quote above is priceless...wtf? Snap words written from a bus driver on the edge!....would not surprise me if he sits at home re-enacting the 'yoo talkin to me!" scene from Taxi Driver.

In all seriousness...what an amusing thread! hahaha

It's truly Saddo gold, made all the more so coming from such an unlikely source. I hope we get more surprises, Killersheep getting his sister in law pregnant, Jaz Merkin driving through a house drunk or maybe Bzkfn killing a man over ginger taunts.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

You're a joke of a man.

Missy, Yawn.

and yet you still keep replying

[OumaFan]

This was fantastic. I didn't really have time to read it all but I made time. I may have to read Ono's thread now, but I can't imagine it was this good.

I'm just assuming that Jim was trying to dethrone Miles and to be fair he did. It was a beatdown.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

This was fantastic. I didn't really have time to read it all but I made time. I may have to read Ono's thread now, but I can't imagine it was this good.

I'm just assuming that Jim was trying to dethrone Miles and to be fair he did. It was a beatdown.

[ono]

This was fantastic. I didn't really have time to read it all but I made time. I may have to read Ono's thread now, but I can't imagine it was this good.

I'm just assuming that Jim was trying to dethrone Miles and to be fair he did. It was a beatdown.

I don't recall having any form of mental breakdown so it won't have been that good.

[superheavyrhun]

This was fantastic. I didn't really have time to read it all but I made time. I may have to read Ono's thread now, but I can't imagine it was this good.

I'm just assuming that Jim was trying to dethrone Miles and to be fair he did. It was a beatdown.

I don't recall having any form of mental breakdown so it won't have been that good.

We advised memory adjustment so you can't actually remember it. Worked didn't it.

[ono]

This was fantastic. I didn't really have time to read it all but I made time. I may have to read Ono's thread now, but I can't imagine it was this good.

I'm just assuming that Jim was trying to dethrone Miles and to be fair he did. It was a beatdown.

I don't recall having any form of mental breakdown so it won't have been that good.

We advised memory adjustment so you can't actually remember it. Worked didn't it.

Remember what?

[boozeboxer]

First of all, whenever Miles, Missy, and Bilbo are the most sane posters on a thread- something really awesome is taking place!!

Jim Boogie: you do need help man. I feel sorry for that poor girl and hope she isn't the last one to get off your route. I also feel compelled to buy her a rape whistle.

Bilbo: I think you had very sound advice.