Quote Originally Posted by ono View Post
Quote Originally Posted by miles View Post
Oh man, you didn't lie about her did you? That's pretty mean. She hasn't really done anything wrong from what you have been saying in this thread. Just chill out and drive your bus. It's your mind that is the problem, not this girl. Poor thing is going to be in trouble and all for nothing.

Interesting confession Eric, though I find a lot of you quite odd. I am quite a diffident and cold person, so could never confess to being touchy with teenagers or anything like that. Any form of physical contact would just be extremely alien to me and even eye contact is something that I rarely hold for long.

Of course I know when someone is attractive and think sometimes 'Cor she's a looker'. But my character refuses to allow it to ever go beyond that. I would never physically touch another female that I am not legally contracted to. But why would I even want to? Physical beauty is just that and for me it is just like architecture. I can look at a building without ever needing to touch it, but one must never stare.
What if Megan Fox asked you to touch her fanny?

If she was a building, which building would she be you Lothario?
I would politely ask her to take it back to Optimus Prime and also tell her to have a decent shower first in order to remove the stench of cheesy Hollywood blockbusters.

Anyway, you buggers I am not from Harrogate. I am from Worthing, but Harrogate was my last point of departure before embarking on a lifelong British embargo. I am quite familiar with various linguistic forms and readily adopt those patterns in various situations. 'Cor' is one of the great words in the British lexicon.

And as for my romantic way with words, indeed it is quite true that I never sound like Barry White. I don't look like him either, but my wife loves me for being the unique visionary that I am. I could serenade the stars and build a stairway to the moon, but we all know that stuff is utter hogwash. I am a pragmatic realist and some women like honesty. If I am anything, it is eccentric with a decent dose of honesty thrown in for good measure.

I agree with Bilbo too. Jim has always seemed so normal, this thread has been a bit of an eye opener.