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No we hate the French just as much as you do.Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheNeutralCorner
What if the nationalities are reversed? Would that be funny? ;D;D;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Dark Lord AlNo it is not well known we only tell jokes that are funny.;DQuote:
Originally Posted by InTheNeutralCorner
Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterNo we hate the French just as much as you do.Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheNeutralCornerWhat if the nationalities are reversed? Would that be funny? ;D;D;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Dark Lord AlNo it is not well known we only tell jokes that are funny.;DQuote:
Originally Posted by InTheNeutralCorner
;D I like the French joke about Pierre racing into the Gendarmes headquarters on his pushbike yelling out theres a mad man down in the fields he has murdered some poor woman and now he is making love to her.
The Gendarme takes his bike off him and races off down through the fieids then comes back half an hour later and smacks Pierre over the head and Says "You Idiot shes not dead she is English".
My wife told me she's leaving me because of my strange sexual need's that fine before you go
do you mind slamming the door on my cock as you go.;D
When I first marred the wife wife I could have ate her
after 25 year's I wish I did.;D
I didnt beleive my wife at first when she told me Davey Jones had died,
Then i saw her face:cool:
Is she now a believer;DQuote:
Originally Posted by roberto duran legend
I fuck in hate double standards sum bird, get a rampant rabbit an it's seen as'a a bit of naughty fun.
but when I ordered my 240 volt fistmaster 5000 latex revolving pussy,with elasticated anus and imitation
shit dribble with breast nipple discharge and seaman collection tray.
With built in realistic rape cry sound system, I'm known as sum kind of sick pervert.;D
2 friends are sitting at a bar drinking and bullshitting, when 1 looks across the bar and sees 2 old guys sitting there drinking. so he says to his friend hey look at the 2 old guys on the other side of the bar, that is going to be us in 20 years. his friend looks at him and says "Thats a Fucking Mirror!"
2 friends are sitting at a bar drinking and bullshitting, when 1 looks across the bar and sees 2 old guys sitting there drinking. so he says to his friend hey look at the 2 old guys on the other side of the bar, that is going to be us in 20 years. his friend looks at him and says "Thats a Fucking Mirror" And then Charlie comes in and tryies to sucker punch one of the old guys, but the old guy knocks him out with 1 punch!Quote:
Originally Posted by robdux
So?
Where are the good jokes?
I wonder what colour a Smurf would go if i was to choke the twat!!:p
damn that is funny, i never thought to add charlie to it. well i guess any joke is funny but its even funnier if it includes methenoff!Quote:
Originally Posted by BIG H
A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man’s penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost
Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, and her dad put the wipers on and cleaned it off the screen and drove on like nothing happened.
After a while, the daughter asked her father, “Daddy, what was that that hit the window?”
Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, “It was only a bug, Honey.”
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said.. ”Gee it had a big dick, didn’t it?”
A new couple were lying naked in bed and setting some ground rules for sex. The man says to his girlfriend “if I want sex then I will rub your right breast, If I do not want sex then I will rub your left breast”.
The girlfriend says but what about me. So the boyfriend says “OK if you want sex rub my dick up and down one time but if you do not want sex rub it a thousand times”.
I went to the shop the other day and said do you have any helicopter flavour crisps, she said nah we only do plane
Wife gets home from work to find her husband watching the football
again. she says, " im leaving you. All you do is talk about football
and you think about nothing else. Im also seeing someone else.
He is younger than you, more handsome , tender, understanding,
treats me like a lady, has a 12inch cock and fucks me everyday."
" really" replies the husband . " What team does he support ?" .
Sexiest but Funny ;D
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
Told the wife to put her coat on, see said why I'm going to the pub I said I'm I coming as well no
I'm switching the heating off.;D
Reading that; I think you just got back from the pub.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dia bando
Muamba wakes up to find Torres has scored twice " fuck me, how many years
was i unconscious ":cool:
Hell that's no joke that would be a nightmare.:eek:
Didnt mean it in a bad way mate , just my warped humour :-\
Quote:
Originally Posted by roberto duran legend
I thought it was funny.
Whats the most difficult thing about a sex change?
Getting fish to smell like cheese.
Wayne Rooney visited Fabrice Muamba in the hospital. "He looks great and can almost string together a complete sentence" Muamba said.
The Tories mate that's the nightmare.;DQuote:
Originally Posted by roberto duran legend
I went to the pub last night, and there was this fat girl dancing on a table.
I walked passed and said ' Fucking amazing legs ' The girl giggled and said
with a smile 'Do you really think so ' I said ' without a doubt,
most tables would have collapsed by now ' .:cool:
WALLET SCAM WARNING.
In ASDA whilst packing shopping in yourcar, you may be approached by 2 fit 18
year oldEastern European girls in tight , tiny tops. They wash your screen with their tits
up against the window and ask for a lift to the next ASDA as payment.
On the way they will strip down and perform oral sex on each other.
One will then climb into the front and suck you off while the other attempts
to steal your wallet. I had mine stolen last thursday , friday, saturday ,
twice on sunday and once again today, so be carefull .
PS you can buy wallets for 99p in poundstretchers :cool:
Bloke buys a Geordie parrot, but gets sick of it saying, 'Im from the toon
and im hard as fuck' , so he puts a Kestrel in his cage. Next morning he
finds the Kestrel dead,and the Parrot saying ' Im from the toon and im as hard as fuck'.
So the bloke puts a Golden Eagle in the cage. Next morning he finds the Eagle dead
and the Parrot with no feathers. As he looks in the cage, the Parrot says,
'Had to tek me coat off for that bastard.
My Girlfriend was giving me a wank the other night she
had a keyring in her hand I think she's was trying to fob me off.;D
My misses asked if I was fucking her around behind her back.
I said yeah of course it was me, who'd the hell did you think it was?
This ventrilloquist visits a farm and says to the farmer i can talk to animals and they reply to me.
:rolleyes: Never says the farmer.
But then the ventriloquist talks to the horse and asks if he likes the farm.
"Oh yes" says the horse "its wonderful here the farmer treats us well and there is always feed.
The farmer looks astonished.
The ventriloquist turns to the sheep and the farmer says "dont go talking to her she a fucking liar!'
My friend was telling me his son is a cage fighter his record
was 3 wins I asked who was his opposition he said 2 budges and 1 canary.;D
Is your son the Geordie Parrot? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Dia bando
As Ghost said, what happened to the good jokes?:confused:
Man, a lot of these jokes are even worse than Marktko's jokes.
How do chinese peeps name their babies?
They throw a coin down the stairs and which ever sound it makes, thats the name..
Like ching chong chow. Loll
Yudo nota lafa atur yurown joks. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by FinitoElDinamita
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in. "OK, follow me" he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "Yes, Yes, Yes!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy. "Good" said the bat, "Because I sure as hell didn't!"
I've always meant to ask you @generalbulldog what is it with your Avatar pic is that a joke? or if not what is the story laughing boy?;)Quote:
Originally Posted by generalbulldog
The F.A. have announced that any Everton player found
man marking Andy Carroll in the F.A.cup semi final
will be booked for time wasting.:cool:
They have also told Arsenal not to waste time entering for the next few year until they have paid up their mortgage.Quote:
Originally Posted by roberto duran legend